So...Lil Mis Anti Schloky Tradition has been somehow magically elected to throw and/or host a baby shower for one of the women at work.

I have never so much as been in the same physical location as a baby shower. I should have been to two: Ira's...I believe I had prior out of town plans, and compensated with a certificate for a Mommy Massage at a local spa. Karen's...as the wife of her husband's best friend, and as someone who paid for her mopey ass to go on a beach weekend even though she was broke....well, I should have been invited, and it was a deliberate slur to not invite me.

I hope her tits fall. In fact, I'm sure that happened; they were already pretty big.

Anyway, so...a baby shower? What's the etiquette for a baby shower in the office? Do people really do silly things like making a diaper cake? When did a baby shower morph from family only to everyone you can invite? It seems like trolling for a gift to me, which is why I’ve never gone to one. Like bridal showers….why?

And on the heels of pondering this dilemma ALL DAY, I'm standing in line at the drug store in front of a youngish (everyone is starting to look young to me) woman who was buying three different types of pregnancy tests. I thought "sweetie, if one says your pregnant, two means it's not an error, and three means you were hoping for a different answer".