In speaking with a friend....

What do you do when you realize your last relationship has "done your head in"? When a simple thing like someone not calling becomes an enormous big deal? Or when someone says "I can't do something tonight, I have to work"? Do you find yourself doubting them because your prior s/o would use that excuse so much you started calling him the Artful Dodger?

It's very hard to divest yourself of that emotional relationship baggage you carry around - especially if you were with someone long enough to create a pattern. Woe to the next person to step up to the plate - you'll be applying the same patterns of behavior you had before to the new one, and how unfair is that?

Unfortunately, everyone does it. Our expectations of relationships are based upon our knowledge, and what we are allowed to see of other people's lives. It ain't all clover!

The thing to constantly remind yourself is that the new person is not the Artful Dodger! It's a whole new world, and you are an explorer. Would you go on a Carribean cruise wearing an anorak because you wore one on your last vacation? Why make a relationship any different?