Every year (tomorrow) millions of families across the United States will celebrate Mother’s Day. Lunches have been arranged, spa certificates purchased, jewelry is purchased, flowers will be delivered; children will make hand made cards and bring their mothers breakfast in bed. The day is a wonderful celebration of one of nature’s most natural events, and should indeed be celebrated.
This post is not for those happy families.
This post is for the parent’s of Maddy McCann. Mrs. McCann – please do not listen to the critical voices claiming you made a mistake in leaving your child in your home. The distance between the place where you were having dinner and where your children lay sleeping is the distance between my backyard and the street. Many, many other parents have lost children to abduction when the parents were physically present (Klaas, Smart, Walsh). The devil is everywhere.
While I myself do not have two footed children, I find myself thinking of the mothers in the world who have lost their children. I find myself thinking of Maddy’s mother, and her grief and uncertainty and (surely) self doubt she finds herself dwelling in since Maddy’s abduction. I think of the other British woman who lost her son to abduction years ago in Greece. I think of the mothers married to foreign nationals whom upon divorce whisk their children back to their native countries, never to be heard from again. I think of the mother of Polly Klaas, abducted, molested and killed during a slumber party at her own home. I think of the mothers of the children killed in Amish country earlier this year. I think of the mother of Cho Seung Hi, and how desperate she felt during her son’s entire life, and how she must feel now. Perhaps she is thinking to herself that she failed as a parent. I think of the mother whose three year old son has finally been declared cancer free. I think of the mothers of the children who go missing, never to be heard from again. I think of the mother of a newborn found in a gym bag on a roadside recently in Atlanta. I think of the mother of the child who died because the parents were vegan and didn’t understand that you can’t raise a child well on a vegan diet. The mother of an adolescent child, abducted and held as a crazy man’s second “bride” for years. The mother of Senate intern Chandra Levy. The mother of Lacy Peterson, and poor Lacy herself.
These are mothers who will never see their child again, never kiss their child good night or tuck them into bed. Mothers who will never see their children grow, and mothers for whom those children are forever suspended in time. Mothers who will never see the loss of baby teeth, mothers who will never suffer through Chicken Pox, or the agonies of their child’s first love, or see their children grow to have children of their own. Even the thought breaks my heart; I do not see how one could suffer such a loss and not go mad with grief. How can you bear to think of your lost child without wondering endlessly what you could have done to prevent it? What decisions could you have made differently that would have impacted the outcome? What a vicious (and dangerous) circle that could be!
Ladies, this is for you. Please know that on this day you are not forgotten. Your children are not forgotten. They continue to live through you, and your actions and even the continuity of your daily life are a testament to your love of your child. Even with the loss of a child, you are still a mother. You deserve to celebrate too, and we celebrate with you in remembrance of all you have lost.
As for the monsters who took these children for their own evil purposes; you know who you are. Your day or reckoning too will come.
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