Commiserations

Having poolside cocktails with LG and others yesterday for Memorial Day, and an off comment got me thinking.

What do you say to someone who has just come out of a relationship?

Based on yesterday’s conversations, it seems they fall into a few categories:

1. Insincere apologies.
2. Insincere flattery
3. Telling one or both of the parties any malicious gossip that has ever occurred during the course of the relationship regarding one or both of the parties.
4. Pretending it never happened.
5. Lastly, the ever famous “you can do better”

Is there some magic formula for post break up etiquette? It seems that we want to simultaneously bolster the dumped one while vilifying the one who did the dumping. Why is that? Why do some folks feel the need to tell the dumped one every single bad story they’ve ever heart about the dumpee? Are they trying in some twisted way to make the dumped one feel better?