We've never been a family that has put much stock in celebrating birthdays, or observing fake holidays like mother's day, or father's day, or any of those Hallmark inspired holidays - you know, you have a parent or a wife or a husband or a sister or a brother or a god or whatever every single day of the year, so why do you need one special day to celebrate?

What? I'm just asking, for crying out loud!

False sentimentality brought to you by the greeting card industry, the voice of convenient emotional sound bytes.

We forget birthdays. Years went by where my parents forgot their anniversary. YEARS, I tell you. YEARS. Certain wings of the family have an aggravating habit of making last minute plans that are seemingly daft and lacking completely in what I consider forethought (although, in their defense, they probably consider me anal – as a child, for summer vacation, I would start packing a month in advance. Yes, a month. And for fun, I would repack. Daily.). Whereas I plan things out way in advance. I even know what I will be doing in November and December…provided I still have a job. I’m going to N.C. in June for a three day weekend and a wedding. I’m going to FL in September for a three day weekend. I’ll be in south GA for several weekends in November (not, however, my birthday or Thanksgiving). I will be at home for Memorial Day and the 4th (looking at my pool).

The thing is: I will not be DRIVING or FLYING anywhere. I will not be going anywhere that costs money. Or using gas. Or using fuel of any kind. I will not be renting a car, or staying in a hotel, or spending any money at all.

We are in a recession. Save money. Stay home. Be a hermit.