Let's set the record straight here, people:

I am not sitting on my ass eating bon bons.

1. My house is a fucking disaster.

2. I have a to do list a mile long.

3. I need to spend a grand on some plumbing repairs.

4. I need a dog sitter for roughly a week.

5. I need to spend a week organizing my garage. And another week working on the front yard. And another week working on the back. Oh, did I mention that post move the ENTIRE INSIDE pretty much needs to be repainted?

6. Also, I haven't been able to CLEAN MY FUCKING HOUSE in three weeks????? Yeah.

7. I haven't had a haircut since the beginning of January. It is now almost April.

8. I had my nails done this week, for the first time since January. This is not the hallmark of someone with too much time on their hands.

9. I read my first book OF THE YEAR this month.

10. My dogs have spent the last two weeks of their lives in the kennel. All day. Every Day. Except on Friday, when I am home. I am a bad doggy mommy, and I know it.

So unless you have a plan to help me, I am not interested in hearing either unsolicited advice or any other kind of helpful words. Maybe I got caught broadside by an interesting missive, or maybe someone's email came across the wrong way this morning, but I am rather angry.