I won't write about this tomorrow, but I will write about it today.
September 11, 2001. Approximately 2,998 U.S. civilians (mostly civilians) dead or missing on American soil, due to an unprecedented and cowardly act of terrorism. It is a great pity that a nation that prides itself on being one of the strongest in the world had it's citzenry overcome with boxcutters and knives. As we have all said subsequently, and I think, uniformly: do it again, and this time you will be the one dying and we will be the ones who live. Cultural memory is an interesting thing: I have done nothing to anyone who belives in Islam. No one who believes in Islam has done anything to effect me personally. Therefore, I fail to understand the absolute rabid fundamentalist hatred they have toward us, and must boil the hatred to it's simplest argument - you end up hating what you covet the most.
I am normally a non violent person. However, when I watched people who made the concious decision to plunge to their deaths rather than burn to death, I became violent. How dare you conspire to murder perfectly innocent human beings based on their nationality? Had any of them stood in front of me, I would have willingly killed them myself.
However, death in itself does not change a culture, does not alter a people's religious belief's. If you kill the father, the son grows up with more hatred in his heart than the father had. What, then, is the solution? One cannot, in good conscience, eradicate a people.
I went to the site of the Towers in 2003. Without a doubt, the eeriest and most haunting experience ever, with it's fence covered in photos of the missing and the dead, and the remnants of wreaths and floral arrangements scattering amid the ash in the wind. I stood there, with my fingers through the chain link, and I was fucking angry.
September 11, 1971. The date of my parent's marriage, at the First United Methodist Church in East Point, GA. My parents have now been married thirty six years (btw, my parents NEVER have remembered their anniversary), and have the dubious distinction of having the date of their anniversary be the date of one of the most heinous crimes in contemporary history. I think, in fact, that the best thing any of us could do as Americans would be to schedule any important event on this date (as much as we could; bris's, bar mitzvah's, baptisms, christenings, births, weddings, engagement parties, divorces..well..maybe not divorces). Anything that was life affirming or celebratory in nature. We are still here. We still live on. We still have spirit. Our economy is not ruined (discounting the housing debacle). We are not oppressed. We are not destroyed. And...we are still angry. And we will never forget those who died.
20070910
20070907
20070906
You know, since I'm feeling under the weather today, I thought we would talk a bit about health care.
Ah, screw it. We won't talk about it today - well, we will, just in short form.
You get sick. You have no job. If you have no job because you are disabled, a child, or elderly....that's one thing. If you have no job because you are....well, whatever....then tough shit.
So we have programs to help the disabled, children and the elderly already. They are called social security and medicare and medicaid (and most states have some other form of medical social support programs available, although the paperwork for these programs ala PeachCare seems to be extraordinarily painful).
Is there a reason we need to help people who have two functioning arms, two functioning legs and a brain that works (more or less)?
Ah, you say, but what about educational levels having an impact upon people's ability to earn a living? If you don't have a college degree, you can't get a good job. Bollix, I say! Not everyone is suited for a higher education. Not everyone needs to go and major in English. And it isn't that people who don't have college degrees are, en masse, lazy. I don't have a college degree. I work for a living, and have held professional jobs since eighteen continuously with only a three month break. And I am not lazy, by anyone's definition.
The thing is this: if we decide to require, at a Federal level, all companies with...more than five employees to provide insurance coverage to their employees (meaning that the company has to pay for it if the employee can't themselves)...that means the cost of doing business will increase. In response, there will be some factor of businesses that are driven out of business or who are forced to decrease in size as a result of the additional spend. No one likes that idea.
The second idea - to fund again at a Federal level some kind of magical insurance fund available to anyone that doesn't have insurance - uh, again, I thought that is why we already have the social programs we do? Do you really want to see yet another deduction come from your check to pay for someone else? Really?
It all comes down to one fundamental question: what are we? Are we a capitalist society? Are we a quasi socialist society? Are we some sort of new hybrid? Are we looking for a replacement for the role previously fulfilled by organized religion and community in the law?
Ethically and morally, I'm not comfortable with letting people suffer because they can't afford to purchase insurance and are thus denied anything but basic healthcare, but I don't want to pay for it personally. I'm pretty sure that makes me a typical American, doesn't it?
Ah, screw it. We won't talk about it today - well, we will, just in short form.
You get sick. You have no job. If you have no job because you are disabled, a child, or elderly....that's one thing. If you have no job because you are....well, whatever....then tough shit.
So we have programs to help the disabled, children and the elderly already. They are called social security and medicare and medicaid (and most states have some other form of medical social support programs available, although the paperwork for these programs ala PeachCare seems to be extraordinarily painful).
Is there a reason we need to help people who have two functioning arms, two functioning legs and a brain that works (more or less)?
Ah, you say, but what about educational levels having an impact upon people's ability to earn a living? If you don't have a college degree, you can't get a good job. Bollix, I say! Not everyone is suited for a higher education. Not everyone needs to go and major in English. And it isn't that people who don't have college degrees are, en masse, lazy. I don't have a college degree. I work for a living, and have held professional jobs since eighteen continuously with only a three month break. And I am not lazy, by anyone's definition.
The thing is this: if we decide to require, at a Federal level, all companies with...more than five employees to provide insurance coverage to their employees (meaning that the company has to pay for it if the employee can't themselves)...that means the cost of doing business will increase. In response, there will be some factor of businesses that are driven out of business or who are forced to decrease in size as a result of the additional spend. No one likes that idea.
The second idea - to fund again at a Federal level some kind of magical insurance fund available to anyone that doesn't have insurance - uh, again, I thought that is why we already have the social programs we do? Do you really want to see yet another deduction come from your check to pay for someone else? Really?
It all comes down to one fundamental question: what are we? Are we a capitalist society? Are we a quasi socialist society? Are we some sort of new hybrid? Are we looking for a replacement for the role previously fulfilled by organized religion and community in the law?
Ethically and morally, I'm not comfortable with letting people suffer because they can't afford to purchase insurance and are thus denied anything but basic healthcare, but I don't want to pay for it personally. I'm pretty sure that makes me a typical American, doesn't it?
20070904
Labiaplasty
Toodling through the internet, as one does....when the word LABIAPLASTY leapt out at me and hit me across the nose.
According to this article in Newsweek, women are starting to treat labiaplasty as the new boob job. You know, you don't particularly like yourself "down there" or think that you have too much flesh there or maybe it's the wrong color at the bottom or I don't know what, just something (this is like anorexic people thinking they are fat...wtf?)! So you decide that you want to go and have a part of yourself that represents your femininity cut off? I mean, sure, I wax. The current trend of being completely denuded I find kinda weird...because it makes all women pretty much look like pre pubescent girls, and I think that is rather creepy. I am not, however, about to go under general anesthesia so someone can take a knife and cut off a part of my flesh.
This is my favorite quote:
"In many cases women say that they began to question the look of their vaginal area after a comment from a male partner who had been influenced by images in sexually explicit magazines or movies."
Ladies...if a man is comparing you to Jenna Jameson when the two of you are in bed together, it's time to find a new man!!! Not go under the knife!!!! I mean, people in porn are digitally cleaned up/enhanced! No one is that perfect; why run the risk of desensitizing yourself trying? I mean, seriously, if your partner said to you "I sure wish you could deep throat like she does" I think you'd get pretty pissed off, so why listen to what someone else says about your body? Damn, ladies, don't you know by now to only listen to the good stuff that other people say? We women do enough self body criticism, we certainly don't need to listen to anyone else!
And as the article goes on to mention, it is rather ironic that as Western cultures agitate for the outlawing of female circumcision or other forms of genital mulitation....aren't we doing the same thing ourselves? Isn't slicing off a functional piece of your body (a part that does actually provide lubrication during intercourse) mutilation when all is said and done?
According to this article in Newsweek, women are starting to treat labiaplasty as the new boob job. You know, you don't particularly like yourself "down there" or think that you have too much flesh there or maybe it's the wrong color at the bottom or I don't know what, just something (this is like anorexic people thinking they are fat...wtf?)! So you decide that you want to go and have a part of yourself that represents your femininity cut off? I mean, sure, I wax. The current trend of being completely denuded I find kinda weird...because it makes all women pretty much look like pre pubescent girls, and I think that is rather creepy. I am not, however, about to go under general anesthesia so someone can take a knife and cut off a part of my flesh.
This is my favorite quote:
"In many cases women say that they began to question the look of their vaginal area after a comment from a male partner who had been influenced by images in sexually explicit magazines or movies."
Ladies...if a man is comparing you to Jenna Jameson when the two of you are in bed together, it's time to find a new man!!! Not go under the knife!!!! I mean, people in porn are digitally cleaned up/enhanced! No one is that perfect; why run the risk of desensitizing yourself trying? I mean, seriously, if your partner said to you "I sure wish you could deep throat like she does" I think you'd get pretty pissed off, so why listen to what someone else says about your body? Damn, ladies, don't you know by now to only listen to the good stuff that other people say? We women do enough self body criticism, we certainly don't need to listen to anyone else!
And as the article goes on to mention, it is rather ironic that as Western cultures agitate for the outlawing of female circumcision or other forms of genital mulitation....aren't we doing the same thing ourselves? Isn't slicing off a functional piece of your body (a part that does actually provide lubrication during intercourse) mutilation when all is said and done?
Left Foot, Right Shoe
Spent some time walking down the beach, peering through the new (to my mind) high and wild dunes looking for the old beach house. The old driftwood tree, my childhood landmark, is gone. Found the new old trail, took off my shoes, waded out in the water, and let granddad's ashes fly off into the wind and water as he wished. Said a small prayer. Thought about all the times we walked that beach when I was a child. Walking back, saw a flock of sandpipers, which made me cry.
20070831
Diana
So today is the 10th anniversary of the untimely passing of Diana, Princess of Wales. Say what you will about her life, as indeed most people have done so (and been spectacularly unkind)…and yet I cannot help but feel a little bit sorry for her when all was said and done.
She never had a chance for a normal life. Yes, she had every little girl’s dream of a big wedding, with a white dress, marrying a prince….but how could she know at 19 that her prince was actually a toad (a tampon??). She was raised to be a trophy, with a very incomplete education, and never really encouraged to think for herself. She grew into a lovely, mature and capable woman…but she had to do it all under the intense glare of the spotlight reserved for British royalty. For this she has my utmost sympathy. The media, in caricaturizing her by trumpeting her affairs and her scandals and her bouts with bulimia, certainly sells papers, but (to me) does nothing to diminish her radiant smile, her charitable works, and her ultimate grace. I think both her sons are a testament to her skills as a mother, and a reflection of her love for them.
I have several magazines that covered her death sitting in a box in my garage; I remember exactly where I was…and I can tell you that, ten years ago, in exactly one month, I was going to start down a path that was wrong for me. In death, Diana finally liberated herself from her own wrong path. It’s just a pity that a life with such brilliant potential had to end that way.
She never had a chance for a normal life. Yes, she had every little girl’s dream of a big wedding, with a white dress, marrying a prince….but how could she know at 19 that her prince was actually a toad (a tampon??). She was raised to be a trophy, with a very incomplete education, and never really encouraged to think for herself. She grew into a lovely, mature and capable woman…but she had to do it all under the intense glare of the spotlight reserved for British royalty. For this she has my utmost sympathy. The media, in caricaturizing her by trumpeting her affairs and her scandals and her bouts with bulimia, certainly sells papers, but (to me) does nothing to diminish her radiant smile, her charitable works, and her ultimate grace. I think both her sons are a testament to her skills as a mother, and a reflection of her love for them.
I have several magazines that covered her death sitting in a box in my garage; I remember exactly where I was…and I can tell you that, ten years ago, in exactly one month, I was going to start down a path that was wrong for me. In death, Diana finally liberated herself from her own wrong path. It’s just a pity that a life with such brilliant potential had to end that way.
20070828
Adventure!
That's right, Mr. Manners and I are going on an adventure this weekend, off somewhere in the wilds of the good ole U.S. of A. for the last long weekend prior to Thanksgiving. I am very excited!!!!
And no, you aren't invited, but I promise to tell you all about it when we return.
Well, not all ;-)
And no, you aren't invited, but I promise to tell you all about it when we return.
Well, not all ;-)
You know, it's rather nice to be happy.
The thing about relationships (speaking broadly here and with no immediate context): you can't make someone into something they are not. If you sit around having arguments with someone about whether or not they love you - if they say they do, they do. Just because it doesn't manifest itself in a way you recognize doesn't mean that it doesn't exist or that it isn't real. If you think of yourself as an "empath" (and boy do I use that term loosely) who can pick up on other people's feelings and thoughts like some kind of Emotional Superman....and you can't pick up your partners, it does not mean that they do not love you. It means that they are different. Different is good. People who exactly alike are boring. Celebrate your differences!
You can't make someone into you. You can't make someone into a kind of person you might find more to your taste. You either accept someone for who they are, or you don't. You can ask people to change, certainly, and they either will or they will tell you to go fuck yourself. And very once in a great while, it's worth changing yourself for another person (only once in a great while...like...alternate leap years :-).
Just rambling. Forgot point. Brain is in idle mode this week. Really looking forward to weekend out of town, will be most relaxing and soothing (ah, the savage breast).
The thing about relationships (speaking broadly here and with no immediate context): you can't make someone into something they are not. If you sit around having arguments with someone about whether or not they love you - if they say they do, they do. Just because it doesn't manifest itself in a way you recognize doesn't mean that it doesn't exist or that it isn't real. If you think of yourself as an "empath" (and boy do I use that term loosely) who can pick up on other people's feelings and thoughts like some kind of Emotional Superman....and you can't pick up your partners, it does not mean that they do not love you. It means that they are different. Different is good. People who exactly alike are boring. Celebrate your differences!
You can't make someone into you. You can't make someone into a kind of person you might find more to your taste. You either accept someone for who they are, or you don't. You can ask people to change, certainly, and they either will or they will tell you to go fuck yourself. And very once in a great while, it's worth changing yourself for another person (only once in a great while...like...alternate leap years :-).
Just rambling. Forgot point. Brain is in idle mode this week. Really looking forward to weekend out of town, will be most relaxing and soothing (ah, the savage breast).
20070825
The nicest thing about family gatherings is the moment you look around and realize that these eight people sitting with you all share the same memory you do. Rather a way of etching that memory in stone, if you will. Those people also remember things you don't, and the more you speak of your mutual history the more you remember the things you'd forgotten. It is a state of family communion, I think, and one of the things that makes family special.
I think all our thoughts and wishes go out to the families of those folks in Greece impacted by the forest fires.
This is, I think, the saddest thing I could have read today: "It's a tragedy," an eyewitness told Greek television. "I can see the burnt bodies of a mother holding her child in her arms. Further away there are more bodies. It's terrible." Fire officials confirmed that a mother and her four children had perished, as had three firefighters." Courtesy of BBC News.
The real tragedy here is not that this was a natural phenomenom, no, the real tragedy is that someone actually started these fires deliberately. The investigating authorities strongly suspect arson. Who sets fire to a village? Who sets a fire that threatens a monastary?
Ο Θεός είναι με σας
This is, I think, the saddest thing I could have read today: "It's a tragedy," an eyewitness told Greek television. "I can see the burnt bodies of a mother holding her child in her arms. Further away there are more bodies. It's terrible." Fire officials confirmed that a mother and her four children had perished, as had three firefighters." Courtesy of BBC News.
The real tragedy here is not that this was a natural phenomenom, no, the real tragedy is that someone actually started these fires deliberately. The investigating authorities strongly suspect arson. Who sets fire to a village? Who sets a fire that threatens a monastary?
Ο Θεός είναι με σας
Some things you can't resist
So Michael Vick is going to lose $150mm in endorsements, salary and otherwise....awww...poor baby!
It's just another case of "ruff" justice!
Sorry! :-) I just couldn't resist!
It's just another case of "ruff" justice!
Sorry! :-) I just couldn't resist!
20070824
Work Irritations
Ok, maybe I have too much time on my hands this morning but I am rather annoyed.
I want to know why it is unacceptable for little Miss White Bread Eliza to have a nose ring, and yet I just saw someone who has gold teeth. Gold teeth!!! In my office!!!!
Secondly, you know, the section of the company I work in is the section that pays the bills. So why, oh why, are we the ones who constantly get crapped upon? Example: our site gets Falcons and Braves season tickets, to be divided up amongst the teams at our site. There are plenty of games between the two sports so that each team should get their pick of about four games, according to my math.
Well, we got two. Just now. To Monday night's game. Against the Bengal's. And the other people who belong to our section? They didn't get any tickets either. So the two tickets that were to be offered to the twenty five or so folks in our part of the world now have to be offered to the fifty or so in our part of the world. And the lady that coordinates the program? "you are just XYZ, you don't get anything else".
Lady, we pay your salary.
I want to know why it is unacceptable for little Miss White Bread Eliza to have a nose ring, and yet I just saw someone who has gold teeth. Gold teeth!!! In my office!!!!
Secondly, you know, the section of the company I work in is the section that pays the bills. So why, oh why, are we the ones who constantly get crapped upon? Example: our site gets Falcons and Braves season tickets, to be divided up amongst the teams at our site. There are plenty of games between the two sports so that each team should get their pick of about four games, according to my math.
Well, we got two. Just now. To Monday night's game. Against the Bengal's. And the other people who belong to our section? They didn't get any tickets either. So the two tickets that were to be offered to the twenty five or so folks in our part of the world now have to be offered to the fifty or so in our part of the world. And the lady that coordinates the program? "you are just XYZ, you don't get anything else".
Lady, we pay your salary.
Fall Fashion Season 2007
Dear Mr. or Ms Retail Buyer:
While returning some articles of apparel to your fine and partially remodeled shopping “experience” yesterday, I took advantage of the occasion to casually browse through the incoming fall merchandise. As your friendly end customer, you know, a consumer who actually has some discretionary income, I have a few suggestions:
1. Glitter does not belong on clothing.
2. Sequins do not belong on work blouses, and definitely no where near anything approaching a nipple.
3. Tailored dress shirts seem to be quite the rage for fall, which is a lovely thing. Why must they be ruined by running metallic threads of various colors through the weave or worse yet edged around the collar?
4. The trend of placing faux pockets on breastage on polo shirts is again not appropriate. I do not want anyone staring at my breasts, thank you.
5. Lettering on one’s derriere, even on casual pants or pajama bottoms, is a definite “don’t”.
6. Animal prints are fine in moderation. Leopard and zebra prints are quite lovely; but not in fluorescent green and hot pink. Color combinations that do not naturally occur in nature should not naturally occur in fashion.
7. The sixties are over. Really, really over. Please put the mini dresses with the big block prints back in the Smithsonian where they belong. No one cares that now they are silk instead of polyester.
8. I notice that the section reserved for women’s formal wear seems to be slowly increasing. Do other women have some fascinating social life comprised of balls, nights at the opera and other such formal events that I know nothing of? Oh, and yes, those dresses are quite hideous.
Lastly, please, Mr. and Ms. Retail Buyer….
NOT EVERYONE IS FAT! STOCK SOME SMALLER SIZES!
Yours,
Eliza
While returning some articles of apparel to your fine and partially remodeled shopping “experience” yesterday, I took advantage of the occasion to casually browse through the incoming fall merchandise. As your friendly end customer, you know, a consumer who actually has some discretionary income, I have a few suggestions:
1. Glitter does not belong on clothing.
2. Sequins do not belong on work blouses, and definitely no where near anything approaching a nipple.
3. Tailored dress shirts seem to be quite the rage for fall, which is a lovely thing. Why must they be ruined by running metallic threads of various colors through the weave or worse yet edged around the collar?
4. The trend of placing faux pockets on breastage on polo shirts is again not appropriate. I do not want anyone staring at my breasts, thank you.
5. Lettering on one’s derriere, even on casual pants or pajama bottoms, is a definite “don’t”.
6. Animal prints are fine in moderation. Leopard and zebra prints are quite lovely; but not in fluorescent green and hot pink. Color combinations that do not naturally occur in nature should not naturally occur in fashion.
7. The sixties are over. Really, really over. Please put the mini dresses with the big block prints back in the Smithsonian where they belong. No one cares that now they are silk instead of polyester.
8. I notice that the section reserved for women’s formal wear seems to be slowly increasing. Do other women have some fascinating social life comprised of balls, nights at the opera and other such formal events that I know nothing of? Oh, and yes, those dresses are quite hideous.
Lastly, please, Mr. and Ms. Retail Buyer….
NOT EVERYONE IS FAT! STOCK SOME SMALLER SIZES!
Yours,
Eliza
20070823
20070820
Things 2
Ok, I'll play.
Things I could get used to:
1. Continually being asked for ID whenever I purchase alcohol or lottery tickets.
2. Having family members that love to swap furniture (really, it's like buying new things only free!)
3. Clean sheets and a nice fluffy comforter on my bed (nothing beats the first time you snooze on freshly laundered sheets).
4. Not really having any grass to mow!
5. Relatives with beach property!
6. Sunday snuggles with my girls
Things I don't want to get used to either:
1. The silver hair around my temples. At what point does that stop being shocking?
2. Finding Maddy hair in odd places...like...my sock drawer???
3. Men in my office wearing shorts. With socks. With sandals.
4. The ants that are invading my house in search of water!!
Pandora? You're up!
Things I could get used to:
1. Continually being asked for ID whenever I purchase alcohol or lottery tickets.
2. Having family members that love to swap furniture (really, it's like buying new things only free!)
3. Clean sheets and a nice fluffy comforter on my bed (nothing beats the first time you snooze on freshly laundered sheets).
4. Not really having any grass to mow!
5. Relatives with beach property!
6. Sunday snuggles with my girls
Things I don't want to get used to either:
1. The silver hair around my temples. At what point does that stop being shocking?
2. Finding Maddy hair in odd places...like...my sock drawer???
3. Men in my office wearing shorts. With socks. With sandals.
4. The ants that are invading my house in search of water!!
Pandora? You're up!
20070819
Not to steal a march on Pandora, but she got me thinking.
We seem to enjoy a culture of victimhood. How many times have you turned on the news or opened the paper to hear someone complaining about their circumstance, some tragic life event, etc. and going on to say how it has ruined their lives? How many episodes of Dateline follow up with the people they have exposed (like that man who they profiled on the web predator sting who later killed himself rather than face the censure of his community) or profiled on their stories?
Pandora was speaking specifically of rape. Remove the emotion from the argument. We can all agree that rape is a bad thing. If we speak in psychological modern “vernacular”, rape is nothing other than a crime of aggression and violence, and not a crime of a passion and sexuality.
I do humbly beg to differ that last point. Rape is the ultimate expression of disdain – a man’s way of saying “I am and always will be more powerful than you in this particular capacity. I can do something to you that you cannot do to me. We will never be equal in this regard, and because I can do it I will.” I firmly believe that by committing this act, man demonstrates that at his basest level he has nothing but disdain for women, and sees women as nothing but a receptacle for his desires and his sperm.
My my.
Women do not need to embrace victimhood. If you let your rape or your molestation twist who you are, or become a pivotal moment in your life, you give your rapist/molester all the power in the world. You’ve given him more power than he deserves. Why should you let that person selfishness and arrogance and sociopathic desires change or influence who you are in the slightest? Ladies, don’t do it. You are not a victim. Your biology does not make you one. You can’t change what happened, or take it back, but you and only you have the ability to let it not change you.
We seem to enjoy a culture of victimhood. How many times have you turned on the news or opened the paper to hear someone complaining about their circumstance, some tragic life event, etc. and going on to say how it has ruined their lives? How many episodes of Dateline follow up with the people they have exposed (like that man who they profiled on the web predator sting who later killed himself rather than face the censure of his community) or profiled on their stories?
Pandora was speaking specifically of rape. Remove the emotion from the argument. We can all agree that rape is a bad thing. If we speak in psychological modern “vernacular”, rape is nothing other than a crime of aggression and violence, and not a crime of a passion and sexuality.
I do humbly beg to differ that last point. Rape is the ultimate expression of disdain – a man’s way of saying “I am and always will be more powerful than you in this particular capacity. I can do something to you that you cannot do to me. We will never be equal in this regard, and because I can do it I will.” I firmly believe that by committing this act, man demonstrates that at his basest level he has nothing but disdain for women, and sees women as nothing but a receptacle for his desires and his sperm.
My my.
Women do not need to embrace victimhood. If you let your rape or your molestation twist who you are, or become a pivotal moment in your life, you give your rapist/molester all the power in the world. You’ve given him more power than he deserves. Why should you let that person selfishness and arrogance and sociopathic desires change or influence who you are in the slightest? Ladies, don’t do it. You are not a victim. Your biology does not make you one. You can’t change what happened, or take it back, but you and only you have the ability to let it not change you.
Dear Fellow Drivers
An open letter to all my dear fellow highway drivers;
If, perchance, you are driving in the fast lane on the highway, any fast lane, on any highway, be it four lanes or six or eight, and you happen to glance in your rear view mirror (assuming, of course, you are a cognizant enough driver to do so periodically) and you just happen to notice a long line of cars behind you, all essentially tailgating one another (or worse yet, practicing dangerous traffic stunts to pass on the right), that is a gigantic clue to you, the lead driver.
No, it's this doesn't mean that everyone else is just a bad driver and follows too closely.
No, it doesn't mean that you get to be the self appointed speed controller of America's freeways.
No, it doesn't mean that there is some new game people play on the highway where they all like to drive really fast and only allow fifteen feet of space between themselves and the next car.
No, my dear fellow driver, this means that you should get your slow moving ass out of the fucking way. As in, put on your turn signal and get in the right hand lane, where your slow moving, two mile over the speed limit doing ass belongs.
See, the left hand lane is for people like me - people who know what the speed limit is, and who make a deliberate decision to both break the law and risk their (my) own safety by speeding. I get really pissed off at some middle aged balding man in his Volvo, all by his lonesome, idling along in the fast lane doing approximately 71, setting pace with the car to his right, and NEVER looking in his rear view mirror, except maybe to check the state of his thinning hair or crazy eyebrows. What gives, man?
Your idiocy forces me into something stupid, illegal and dangerous....to take the first available gap, to stomp on the gas, and to pass your dawdling ass on the right. So to all you mini van owners, you Volvo station wagon owners, and the one Merc I passed who was actually doing 69 (dude, you own a Merc!!! what is your problem????), why don't you stay in the slow lane where you belong? If tractor trailers are blowing past you in the right hand lane, you might want to consider the use of the accelerator. Just a suggestion.
Part Two of my driving/trip blog.
On the way up, I stopped in Gaffney in the
middle of the night for gas, and to pee. I hate stopping on trips...because I hate being in the car, and any stop just prolongs my car sitting agony. Anyway, I regard Gaffney as the armpit of South Carolina. Any city whose claim to fame is a gigantic water tower painted to resemble a peach (which, in truth, resembles a gigantic plumber's ass, albeit a fuzzy one) deserves nothing but a severe 'net mocking. And it does actually have a trailer park next to the highway - so I guess I have to take back that earlier post! Back to the peeing thing...my choices for gas and urination are: Citgo (no way), Exxon (double no way) or BP (ok, cool with that). So I pull into the BP, start fueling, lock the dogs into the car, and head inside. I notice as I'm walking back towards the loo that there is this really drop dead gorgeous little girl in the candy girl. Little girl to me means about sixteen. Drop dead gorgeous....in that blond, blue eyed, unspoiled, pristine kind of way. Then I took a second look, and I realize this all American sweetheart is not only dolled up like Paris Hilton, but she also has a knockoff Prada back replete with the little froofroo hairy dog tucked up asleep inside.
First: when did the local Hambrick's start carrying knockoff Prada bags? Second: what is a girl who might have been all of fifteen doing wearing a skirt so short that even I could tell she was wearing pink boy shorts underneath? Third: what the freaking fuck are her parents thinking? Fourth: what the freaking fuck is she thinking? This is GAFFNEY SOUTH CAROLINA and here is a little Paris Hilton Wannabe in the British Petroleum at 11 pm on a Wednesday night. Isn't this a school night? Where are your parents? Please don't tell me that you are out dressed like that (jailbait) on a school night?
I have two things to say: I wish people would learn to exercise some control and periodically turn off the television, and I wish we would all teach little girls that their worth as people wasn't dependent upon how much skin they display, or how pretty they are, or how much they put out.
If, perchance, you are driving in the fast lane on the highway, any fast lane, on any highway, be it four lanes or six or eight, and you happen to glance in your rear view mirror (assuming, of course, you are a cognizant enough driver to do so periodically) and you just happen to notice a long line of cars behind you, all essentially tailgating one another (or worse yet, practicing dangerous traffic stunts to pass on the right), that is a gigantic clue to you, the lead driver.
No, it's this doesn't mean that everyone else is just a bad driver and follows too closely.
No, it doesn't mean that you get to be the self appointed speed controller of America's freeways.
No, it doesn't mean that there is some new game people play on the highway where they all like to drive really fast and only allow fifteen feet of space between themselves and the next car.
No, my dear fellow driver, this means that you should get your slow moving ass out of the fucking way. As in, put on your turn signal and get in the right hand lane, where your slow moving, two mile over the speed limit doing ass belongs.
See, the left hand lane is for people like me - people who know what the speed limit is, and who make a deliberate decision to both break the law and risk their (my) own safety by speeding. I get really pissed off at some middle aged balding man in his Volvo, all by his lonesome, idling along in the fast lane doing approximately 71, setting pace with the car to his right, and NEVER looking in his rear view mirror, except maybe to check the state of his thinning hair or crazy eyebrows. What gives, man?
Your idiocy forces me into something stupid, illegal and dangerous....to take the first available gap, to stomp on the gas, and to pass your dawdling ass on the right. So to all you mini van owners, you Volvo station wagon owners, and the one Merc I passed who was actually doing 69 (dude, you own a Merc!!! what is your problem????), why don't you stay in the slow lane where you belong? If tractor trailers are blowing past you in the right hand lane, you might want to consider the use of the accelerator. Just a suggestion.
Part Two of my driving/trip blog.
On the way up, I stopped in Gaffney in the
middle of the night for gas, and to pee. I hate stopping on trips...because I hate being in the car, and any stop just prolongs my car sitting agony. Anyway, I regard Gaffney as the armpit of South Carolina. Any city whose claim to fame is a gigantic water tower painted to resemble a peach (which, in truth, resembles a gigantic plumber's ass, albeit a fuzzy one) deserves nothing but a severe 'net mocking. And it does actually have a trailer park next to the highway - so I guess I have to take back that earlier post! Back to the peeing thing...my choices for gas and urination are: Citgo (no way), Exxon (double no way) or BP (ok, cool with that). So I pull into the BP, start fueling, lock the dogs into the car, and head inside. I notice as I'm walking back towards the loo that there is this really drop dead gorgeous little girl in the candy girl. Little girl to me means about sixteen. Drop dead gorgeous....in that blond, blue eyed, unspoiled, pristine kind of way. Then I took a second look, and I realize this all American sweetheart is not only dolled up like Paris Hilton, but she also has a knockoff Prada back replete with the little froofroo hairy dog tucked up asleep inside.
First: when did the local Hambrick's start carrying knockoff Prada bags? Second: what is a girl who might have been all of fifteen doing wearing a skirt so short that even I could tell she was wearing pink boy shorts underneath? Third: what the freaking fuck are her parents thinking? Fourth: what the freaking fuck is she thinking? This is GAFFNEY SOUTH CAROLINA and here is a little Paris Hilton Wannabe in the British Petroleum at 11 pm on a Wednesday night. Isn't this a school night? Where are your parents? Please don't tell me that you are out dressed like that (jailbait) on a school night?
I have two things to say: I wish people would learn to exercise some control and periodically turn off the television, and I wish we would all teach little girls that their worth as people wasn't dependent upon how much skin they display, or how pretty they are, or how much they put out.
20070816
Ties
That's an interesting discussion.
Why do we hold onto things or relationships or friendships that we know are bad for us, or that we know have outlived their usefulness or their purpose in our lives? Do we do so out of sentimentality? Do we do so out of fear? Are we just plain lazy?
There comes a point, I think, where you have to let go of so much of your own backstory and baggage. It takes some people longer than others - it takes women forever! We tend to let people or circumstance walk all over us before we finally say enough!
I mean, how long do you tolerate someone who is ostensibly a friend being rude or negative to you everytime you see this person? Why do you still speak to them?
How long do you associate with someone who reminds you of the bad times in your life? Folks handle this differently: some people have that link as a reminder of their past life, and other folks sever all ties and walk off to recreate their story somewhere else. Is one braver than the other? Is one approach better than the other? Or is there a blend somehow that works best?
Or say you have a friend that is an out an out alcoholic (we all know someone that meets this criteria). You've seen them fall into the gutter, perhaps literally, and been around to lend a hand repeatedly, from simply driving them home to paying their tab to taking care of them when they've given themselves alcohol poisoning. Why do we do it? Do we have an inherent desire for martyrdom? Does it make us feel better about ourselves?
Maybe you have an abusive relative or spouse. Why do you hang out? Do you tell yourself that there are different rules for family? Like...would you ever slap your mother? Would you? I bet the answer is almost a universal no. Do you continue to stay in that negative relationship because it IS your family, and you feel beholden to them even though it's at the risk of your own health and sanity?
I am simply saying: do what is right for you. If a plant has a dead branch, you cut if off for the general health of the plant. Do the same with the relationships in your life. You'll feel much better!
Why do we hold onto things or relationships or friendships that we know are bad for us, or that we know have outlived their usefulness or their purpose in our lives? Do we do so out of sentimentality? Do we do so out of fear? Are we just plain lazy?
There comes a point, I think, where you have to let go of so much of your own backstory and baggage. It takes some people longer than others - it takes women forever! We tend to let people or circumstance walk all over us before we finally say enough!
I mean, how long do you tolerate someone who is ostensibly a friend being rude or negative to you everytime you see this person? Why do you still speak to them?
How long do you associate with someone who reminds you of the bad times in your life? Folks handle this differently: some people have that link as a reminder of their past life, and other folks sever all ties and walk off to recreate their story somewhere else. Is one braver than the other? Is one approach better than the other? Or is there a blend somehow that works best?
Or say you have a friend that is an out an out alcoholic (we all know someone that meets this criteria). You've seen them fall into the gutter, perhaps literally, and been around to lend a hand repeatedly, from simply driving them home to paying their tab to taking care of them when they've given themselves alcohol poisoning. Why do we do it? Do we have an inherent desire for martyrdom? Does it make us feel better about ourselves?
Maybe you have an abusive relative or spouse. Why do you hang out? Do you tell yourself that there are different rules for family? Like...would you ever slap your mother? Would you? I bet the answer is almost a universal no. Do you continue to stay in that negative relationship because it IS your family, and you feel beholden to them even though it's at the risk of your own health and sanity?
I am simply saying: do what is right for you. If a plant has a dead branch, you cut if off for the general health of the plant. Do the same with the relationships in your life. You'll feel much better!
Little Pink Houses
In making my little road trip to the Queen's City for work yesterday evening...and stuck in traffic...
I wondered...
Am I the only one who thinks that living next to a highway or major road or a main road at all is a horrible thing? Is it just me or are the properties that exist next to the highway only for poor people? What's it like to come home and relax to the sounds of thousands of cars honking and whizzing by outside your bedroom window? To have everything perpetually reek of exhaust? To actually PAY someone to have all your stuff smell forever of carbon monoxide?
I mean, when you look for a place to live...what are your criteria? Mine are pretty simple: no road frontage, no homeowner's association, trees, and a street that isn't a "drive through".
You don't see poor people living in rural areas tacked onto the side of the highway. Why is that? Have you ever seen a trailer park that wasn't for recreational vehicles on the side of the highway?
I wondered...
Am I the only one who thinks that living next to a highway or major road or a main road at all is a horrible thing? Is it just me or are the properties that exist next to the highway only for poor people? What's it like to come home and relax to the sounds of thousands of cars honking and whizzing by outside your bedroom window? To have everything perpetually reek of exhaust? To actually PAY someone to have all your stuff smell forever of carbon monoxide?
I mean, when you look for a place to live...what are your criteria? Mine are pretty simple: no road frontage, no homeowner's association, trees, and a street that isn't a "drive through".
You don't see poor people living in rural areas tacked onto the side of the highway. Why is that? Have you ever seen a trailer park that wasn't for recreational vehicles on the side of the highway?
20070815
Money
Here is where we are:
The Fed was trying to encourage business growth in previous years, in order to stimulate the economy, and thus kept adjusting interest rates. Normal Americans took advantage of the low interest rates that were so abundant, and used them to borrow against the equity in their houses for a variety of things (remodels, vacations, bills, college, etc.). Companies got used to us spending that level of income. We got used to spending it, and having those flashy toys. Things were good. Everyone was cool. Consumers were happy – we thought we had an investment that could do nothing but mature and continue to make us money, so we were all happy with the “minimal” risk involved in taking out all our cash on hand. We didn’t even mind paying almost double or more than double for our vacations abroad – because we were flush with our borrowed cash.
But haven’t you ever wondered, as you were driving around, where folks were getting the money from to afford those $800,000 homes? Or why your neighbor suddenly had two BMW’s? Did mankind suddenly evolve the ability to shit gold (and, by the way, I certainly wish this were the case although I believe it would be rather painful)?
Fast forward.
The market has an enormous contraction. Those folk in the sub prime market that were at risk in the first place, that locked into variable rate loans? They were the first ones to feel the pain when the Fed started raising rates. Half a point doesn’t sound like a lot, but could be an extra $200 a month (depending on the size of your loan, your terms, etc.). If you are already marginal, and overextended, where is that bump going to come from? Sure, a number of them gambled on being able to turn their house and sell it prior to the rates rising, or to have enough market equity to be able to refinance at a lower rate (this assumes that the market growth was 20% or more). Most of them lost that gamble.
That’s the first problem.
Here’s the second.
Our domestic spending (and by this I mean you and I, and not the gub’ment). All that money we borrowed against our houses last year or the year prior is long gone. It might be sitting in your driveway or in your new kitchen or stuck in a photo album somewhere, but it’s long gone. Now you still owe that money, and your house is still stuck at about the same value. You can’t continue to live the lifestyle you were living based on earned income alone, so what do most Americans do? Turn to plastic. And then what happens? The more you spend on a card, on all cards, the tighter the card companies are going to become in their treatment of you. Sure, they want to encourage you to open new lines of credit…they want you to spend, and spend lots – it’s how they make money. Better yet, they want you to carry a balance, a big one, so that they can zonk you with all sorts of fees and charges. Goodness forbid you ever miss a payment on any other card, because now any card company can adjust your account based off your behavior with another service provider. Doesn’t that suck?
Back to the point. Credit card companies want to make money, but they want to protect their unsecured little bottom lines. So what do they do – they quietly start tacking on more fees, they change their rates but send out mailers in unmarked envelopes with opt outs in unmarked envelopes (I even got one that was mailed separately, and I think this was from my BANK!).
Where we will end up is this: soon, consumers will have nothing left to spend (credit maxed, cash on hand tied up in immediate bills, no savings). How will retailers continue to move product? How will services firms continue to sell services? How will financial firms make money?
You’ve seen a lot of news in the past few weeks about other countries dumping their reserves into our economy, or snapping up some of our companies through mergers and acquisitions. That’s not really good news. The fact that other governments feel the need to pump money into our economy (thanks, China) means that they recognize the fact that our economies are co dependent upon each other, and that a failure in our economy would have a substantial ripple effect on theirs. I mean, where would China export all their product to if not the U.S.? It really is a global economy these days.
It’s all a vicious cycle. The more you spend, the less you have. The more you spend, the more companies make, the more they are inclined to spend on growth, and the more people are likely to have access to new jobs. New jobs mean more growth in other industries (housing, services, etc). The less you spend, the less everyone has. You spend less, companies have less, do not grow (hoard), begin to cost cut (forcing folks out of jobs), and everything suddenly goes to pot.
The armchair, dilettante economist here (spits out wad o’tobaccy) thinks that we are in for a bit of a hard fall here. Normal people had too much invested in their homes, and not enough in cash reserve (myself included in this lunacy). The gubment loves the weak dollar – it means that all goods manufactured here (the precious few that still are) are cheap cheap cheap and that’s usually an incentive for folks abroad to buy. If people are coming down from Canada to buy luxury cars in the U.S. because they can save $30K…that’s the sign of a REALLY weak dollar. While the weak dollar is great for businesses, and great for the government, is it really that great for the consumer? And once we stop selling the interest on our deficit to other countries, or our currency becomes so devalued that no one wants to buy it, what then? It’s like I’ve always said…how can you owe yourself money?
Anyway, now I’m rambling and have rather lost the plot.
What I’m saying is this: I think we’re headed for a recession. The long predicted housing bust has hurt more people and businesses than predicted. Tighten your belts, folks, and hang onto those wallets. It’s gonna be a long ride.
The Fed was trying to encourage business growth in previous years, in order to stimulate the economy, and thus kept adjusting interest rates. Normal Americans took advantage of the low interest rates that were so abundant, and used them to borrow against the equity in their houses for a variety of things (remodels, vacations, bills, college, etc.). Companies got used to us spending that level of income. We got used to spending it, and having those flashy toys. Things were good. Everyone was cool. Consumers were happy – we thought we had an investment that could do nothing but mature and continue to make us money, so we were all happy with the “minimal” risk involved in taking out all our cash on hand. We didn’t even mind paying almost double or more than double for our vacations abroad – because we were flush with our borrowed cash.
But haven’t you ever wondered, as you were driving around, where folks were getting the money from to afford those $800,000 homes? Or why your neighbor suddenly had two BMW’s? Did mankind suddenly evolve the ability to shit gold (and, by the way, I certainly wish this were the case although I believe it would be rather painful)?
Fast forward.
The market has an enormous contraction. Those folk in the sub prime market that were at risk in the first place, that locked into variable rate loans? They were the first ones to feel the pain when the Fed started raising rates. Half a point doesn’t sound like a lot, but could be an extra $200 a month (depending on the size of your loan, your terms, etc.). If you are already marginal, and overextended, where is that bump going to come from? Sure, a number of them gambled on being able to turn their house and sell it prior to the rates rising, or to have enough market equity to be able to refinance at a lower rate (this assumes that the market growth was 20% or more). Most of them lost that gamble.
That’s the first problem.
Here’s the second.
Our domestic spending (and by this I mean you and I, and not the gub’ment). All that money we borrowed against our houses last year or the year prior is long gone. It might be sitting in your driveway or in your new kitchen or stuck in a photo album somewhere, but it’s long gone. Now you still owe that money, and your house is still stuck at about the same value. You can’t continue to live the lifestyle you were living based on earned income alone, so what do most Americans do? Turn to plastic. And then what happens? The more you spend on a card, on all cards, the tighter the card companies are going to become in their treatment of you. Sure, they want to encourage you to open new lines of credit…they want you to spend, and spend lots – it’s how they make money. Better yet, they want you to carry a balance, a big one, so that they can zonk you with all sorts of fees and charges. Goodness forbid you ever miss a payment on any other card, because now any card company can adjust your account based off your behavior with another service provider. Doesn’t that suck?
Back to the point. Credit card companies want to make money, but they want to protect their unsecured little bottom lines. So what do they do – they quietly start tacking on more fees, they change their rates but send out mailers in unmarked envelopes with opt outs in unmarked envelopes (I even got one that was mailed separately, and I think this was from my BANK!).
Where we will end up is this: soon, consumers will have nothing left to spend (credit maxed, cash on hand tied up in immediate bills, no savings). How will retailers continue to move product? How will services firms continue to sell services? How will financial firms make money?
You’ve seen a lot of news in the past few weeks about other countries dumping their reserves into our economy, or snapping up some of our companies through mergers and acquisitions. That’s not really good news. The fact that other governments feel the need to pump money into our economy (thanks, China) means that they recognize the fact that our economies are co dependent upon each other, and that a failure in our economy would have a substantial ripple effect on theirs. I mean, where would China export all their product to if not the U.S.? It really is a global economy these days.
It’s all a vicious cycle. The more you spend, the less you have. The more you spend, the more companies make, the more they are inclined to spend on growth, and the more people are likely to have access to new jobs. New jobs mean more growth in other industries (housing, services, etc). The less you spend, the less everyone has. You spend less, companies have less, do not grow (hoard), begin to cost cut (forcing folks out of jobs), and everything suddenly goes to pot.
The armchair, dilettante economist here (spits out wad o’tobaccy) thinks that we are in for a bit of a hard fall here. Normal people had too much invested in their homes, and not enough in cash reserve (myself included in this lunacy). The gubment loves the weak dollar – it means that all goods manufactured here (the precious few that still are) are cheap cheap cheap and that’s usually an incentive for folks abroad to buy. If people are coming down from Canada to buy luxury cars in the U.S. because they can save $30K…that’s the sign of a REALLY weak dollar. While the weak dollar is great for businesses, and great for the government, is it really that great for the consumer? And once we stop selling the interest on our deficit to other countries, or our currency becomes so devalued that no one wants to buy it, what then? It’s like I’ve always said…how can you owe yourself money?
Anyway, now I’m rambling and have rather lost the plot.
What I’m saying is this: I think we’re headed for a recession. The long predicted housing bust has hurt more people and businesses than predicted. Tighten your belts, folks, and hang onto those wallets. It’s gonna be a long ride.
20070814
Ya know, I owe some apologies, I think. I made a few blog posts about things that were none of my business, really, and I shouldn't have done it. Quite nasty of me, really. Please accept most humble apologies (bowing and scraping as we speak).
Today: totally and completely empty. Wondering why beating self up over events that happened eight years ago, when such things have been mutually forgiven and largely forgotten. Wondering why I spent my night's sleep grinding my teeth.
Bah.
Today: totally and completely empty. Wondering why beating self up over events that happened eight years ago, when such things have been mutually forgiven and largely forgotten. Wondering why I spent my night's sleep grinding my teeth.
Bah.
20070813
Forgiveness
There comes a time in everyone's life where you have to stop carrying around the sins of your past like a piece of sackcloth, smearing yourself with ashes every few months like some ultra penitent Franciscan. I admit quite fully that I am human, that I am not infallible, and that I make mistakes.
I am not the sum of my mistakes, and neither is anyone else.
I do not judge others by their mistakes; what gives you the right to judge me by mine?
The details of my marriage and divorce are things I will never again speak of to another human being. I am fully aware of my own sins, of my ex-husband’s sins, and I do not need to be “pre judged” by anyone else in the future. I am not proud of my marriage, I am not proud of the person I became. By the way, I punish myself enough, thank you, and do not need anyone else’s help in this matter.
Only now have I gotten to a point in life where I feel good about myself. I am relatively content with my house, with myself, with my family, and with my career. I have made peace with my past. It is what it is. And I’m proud of the life I have carved out for myself, issue laden as it is, it is still mine, and I made it for myself.
Ironically, this has taught me that full disclosure of one’s past is going to have negative repercussions no matter whom you tell. It makes you have a lot of faith in humanity, it truly does.
I am not the sum of my mistakes, and neither is anyone else.
I do not judge others by their mistakes; what gives you the right to judge me by mine?
The details of my marriage and divorce are things I will never again speak of to another human being. I am fully aware of my own sins, of my ex-husband’s sins, and I do not need to be “pre judged” by anyone else in the future. I am not proud of my marriage, I am not proud of the person I became. By the way, I punish myself enough, thank you, and do not need anyone else’s help in this matter.
Only now have I gotten to a point in life where I feel good about myself. I am relatively content with my house, with myself, with my family, and with my career. I have made peace with my past. It is what it is. And I’m proud of the life I have carved out for myself, issue laden as it is, it is still mine, and I made it for myself.
Ironically, this has taught me that full disclosure of one’s past is going to have negative repercussions no matter whom you tell. It makes you have a lot of faith in humanity, it truly does.
Animals in Prison
So I went to the aquarium with Mr. Manners this weekend.
Imagine his surprise when he found out that the present his ex girlfriend gave him - a membership to the aquarium - had been transferred to her sister (who doesn't even live in the United States!).
Y'all know that I do not like aquariums, zoos, circuses, etc. I do not like animals in cages, in plexiglass, in wire, etc.
However, except for all the idiots wandering around, I will say that I had a nice time, and that Bernie did a nice job.
Imagine his surprise when he found out that the present his ex girlfriend gave him - a membership to the aquarium - had been transferred to her sister (who doesn't even live in the United States!).
Y'all know that I do not like aquariums, zoos, circuses, etc. I do not like animals in cages, in plexiglass, in wire, etc.
However, except for all the idiots wandering around, I will say that I had a nice time, and that Bernie did a nice job.
20070810
Simply Smashing
The day started off just great.
I went to take the trash out, and do a few little things outside before it got hell hot, and Maddy took my glasses off the bathroom counter and ate them. Not ate them like just gnawed on the plastic. Ate them like ate off all the plastic, popped out a lens, and scratched the lenses so badly they are unuseable. When I saw them on the floor, they looked kinda ok...until I picked them up.
Then I did something I'm not proud of. I had one of what I call "daddy moments". Growing up, my dad had a really scary bad temper, and we were all afraid of making him mad (until we realized it was mostly bluster when we got older - sorry, Dad!). You know, that kind of roaring, throwing things, kicking doors, punching things (not people) kind of angry. I have that temper too, but I try to keep a very tight lid on it because I don't think that is appropriate behavior. Anyhow, when I picked the glasses up, I flipped out. I grabbed Maddy by the scruff and started screeching at her "you are such a bad fucking dog...why do you gotta do this to me?" and spanking her like there was no tomorrow. Now, she doesn't try to wiggle off or run away or bite, she just lays there and takes it. So I let her go and she ran to her bed.
"Why, Mommy, why?" from her little puppy eyes...which made me really just start to sob. And sob.
Little Miss Maddy pops out of her bed and comes over, nuzzles me, and lays on my feet. I love my dog. I was an ass (so was she) and she loves me anyway.
So off to Dr. R's I go; I have to spend $500 on a new pair. I just bought these last October. I'm still pretty mad. I almost got rearended in Dr. R's parking lot (I would have stroked out).
Now, why is it that other people cannot just let one be grumpy when one is grumpy? I'm not necessarily talking about me, but when someone is in a bad mood why is it everyone's first instinct to try and cheer them up? Why? Don't you know that sometimes people just want to be left alone? Solitude isn't a thing to be feared...it is in fact quite lovely. A time for reflection, meditation, or just plain getting things done.
So the next time someone is in a bad mood, for crap's sake stop trying to cheer them up. Ask politely. If they seem uninterested, leave them alone. On behalf of grumpy people everywhere, we thank you for it :-)
I went to take the trash out, and do a few little things outside before it got hell hot, and Maddy took my glasses off the bathroom counter and ate them. Not ate them like just gnawed on the plastic. Ate them like ate off all the plastic, popped out a lens, and scratched the lenses so badly they are unuseable. When I saw them on the floor, they looked kinda ok...until I picked them up.
Then I did something I'm not proud of. I had one of what I call "daddy moments". Growing up, my dad had a really scary bad temper, and we were all afraid of making him mad (until we realized it was mostly bluster when we got older - sorry, Dad!). You know, that kind of roaring, throwing things, kicking doors, punching things (not people) kind of angry. I have that temper too, but I try to keep a very tight lid on it because I don't think that is appropriate behavior. Anyhow, when I picked the glasses up, I flipped out. I grabbed Maddy by the scruff and started screeching at her "you are such a bad fucking dog...why do you gotta do this to me?" and spanking her like there was no tomorrow. Now, she doesn't try to wiggle off or run away or bite, she just lays there and takes it. So I let her go and she ran to her bed.
"Why, Mommy, why?" from her little puppy eyes...which made me really just start to sob. And sob.
Little Miss Maddy pops out of her bed and comes over, nuzzles me, and lays on my feet. I love my dog. I was an ass (so was she) and she loves me anyway.
So off to Dr. R's I go; I have to spend $500 on a new pair. I just bought these last October. I'm still pretty mad. I almost got rearended in Dr. R's parking lot (I would have stroked out).
Now, why is it that other people cannot just let one be grumpy when one is grumpy? I'm not necessarily talking about me, but when someone is in a bad mood why is it everyone's first instinct to try and cheer them up? Why? Don't you know that sometimes people just want to be left alone? Solitude isn't a thing to be feared...it is in fact quite lovely. A time for reflection, meditation, or just plain getting things done.
So the next time someone is in a bad mood, for crap's sake stop trying to cheer them up. Ask politely. If they seem uninterested, leave them alone. On behalf of grumpy people everywhere, we thank you for it :-)
Another worthy article of note:
Thank Psychology Today
"You are not valuing your own self enough to make yourself a full partner to a relationship. That failure to validate yourself is going to undermine any choice you ever make. If you respected yourself more, you would be able to exercise your own judgment—and see that you've limited your possibilities to two men with serious flaws for a relationship. It's almost impossible to build a joint future—the purpose of marriage—with someone who has different views of life than you do, unless you talk those views out thoroughly and can make them mesh in very specific ways."
And from another article, for any women out there who have sat in a relationship or marriage for a long time before deciding to leave:
"The letters make it clear that the women fall for the guys quickly, then spend a long time in struggles to transform their mate before coming to rue their choice of partner."
Thank Psychology Today
"You are not valuing your own self enough to make yourself a full partner to a relationship. That failure to validate yourself is going to undermine any choice you ever make. If you respected yourself more, you would be able to exercise your own judgment—and see that you've limited your possibilities to two men with serious flaws for a relationship. It's almost impossible to build a joint future—the purpose of marriage—with someone who has different views of life than you do, unless you talk those views out thoroughly and can make them mesh in very specific ways."
And from another article, for any women out there who have sat in a relationship or marriage for a long time before deciding to leave:
"The letters make it clear that the women fall for the guys quickly, then spend a long time in struggles to transform their mate before coming to rue their choice of partner."
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
Not that The Mirror is exactly a reputable news site, but I'm attaching excerpts from an article I read today anyway.
Top Ten Passion Killers
" 1 NEVER ARGUING
Couples who don't fall out may look like they have a perfect relationship but in reality the opposite is probably true.
"If you never argue, at least one person's needs aren't being met," says sex and relationship counsellor Denise Knowles.
"This may eventually lead to resentment or emotional distance," explains Denise.
Either way, it doesn't make for satisfying sex because you're not in touch with what you want.
"Think about what you want from your relationship - not just sexually," she says.
"Then suggest doing these things. Look out for local events, classes or activities to inspire you. Take one step at a time."
2 NAME CALLING
Arguing can resolve conflict but do it in the wrong way and you can cause permanent damage.
According to US psychologist Dr John Gottman from Boston University, it takes five positive comments to balance one negative comment such as name-calling.
He and his colleagues listened to a 15-minute conversation between 700 newly-married couples, noting the ratio between negative and positive comments.
Using this 5:1 ratio as a guide, they predicted whether or not the couples would stay together over the next 10 years with startling 94 per cent accuracy.
Denise explains: "When you call someone a name, you're moving away from the issue and attacking them personally.
"Put-downs such as 'fat bitch' are hurtful, never forgotten and unlikely to inspire passion."
3 NO QUALITY TIME
One or both of you work long hours and by the time you've put the kids to bed, you have barely enough energy to watch TV.
"Practicalities get in the way because they're often urgent.
"But if this happens to the exclusion of everything else, it can be a serious passion killer."
Block out time every week for you and your partner to have an uninterrupted hour or so to get back in touch with each other as individuals.
If you can't afford a night out at a fancy restaurant, go for a walk or send the kids on a sleepover, order a takeaway, open a bottle of wine and switch the phone to voicemail.
"Keep the conversation away from anything domestic - this is quality time," says Denise.
4 EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY
It starts as casual flirting at work but soon you find you're looking forward to overtime because your fellow flirtee will be there. You start going for drinks together and even confiding stuff about your personal life.
"It's fine to have friends of the opposite sex but if you get close to someone at the expense of intimacy with your partner, your relationship could become damaged even if you don't have a fullblown affair," warns Denise. "This situation may be the first sign that all isn't well at home."
Think about why it's happened and address any issues with your partner (you don't have to admit you're attracted to someone else).
5 POOR BODY IMAGE
You've recently put on weight. Your partner insists you look great but you hate being seen naked and will do almost anything to avoid sex.
"You may not be able to transform yourself into a supermodel, but there are always things you can do to improve how you look and feel," says Denise.
Set small goals - for instance, a realistic exercise programme that fits in with your lifestyle and will help you tone up.
Buy yourself some flattering underwear, have a makeover and concentrate on your good points.
.......
10 STUCK IN A SEX RUT
When you first met, you couldn't leave each other alone. Now you'd rather go shopping than get it on.
Tracey Cox reckons the main obstacle to sex in long-term relationships is the misguided belief that it has to be a marathon. In her book Quickies (£6.39, Dorling Kindersley) she advises forgetting about orgasm as a goal and making the most of snatched periods of time to build up sexual tension so that when you do finally have sex it'll be explosive.
She also suggests sending sexy texts, having sex in different places, introducing sex toys, new positions and surprising your partner by ditching the passion-killer nightwear in favour of something a little more risque now and again.
This sends the message you think your partner's worth impressing, which makes them feel good so they make the effort back." .....
Top Ten Passion Killers
" 1 NEVER ARGUING
Couples who don't fall out may look like they have a perfect relationship but in reality the opposite is probably true.
"If you never argue, at least one person's needs aren't being met," says sex and relationship counsellor Denise Knowles.
"This may eventually lead to resentment or emotional distance," explains Denise.
Either way, it doesn't make for satisfying sex because you're not in touch with what you want.
"Think about what you want from your relationship - not just sexually," she says.
"Then suggest doing these things. Look out for local events, classes or activities to inspire you. Take one step at a time."
2 NAME CALLING
Arguing can resolve conflict but do it in the wrong way and you can cause permanent damage.
According to US psychologist Dr John Gottman from Boston University, it takes five positive comments to balance one negative comment such as name-calling.
He and his colleagues listened to a 15-minute conversation between 700 newly-married couples, noting the ratio between negative and positive comments.
Using this 5:1 ratio as a guide, they predicted whether or not the couples would stay together over the next 10 years with startling 94 per cent accuracy.
Denise explains: "When you call someone a name, you're moving away from the issue and attacking them personally.
"Put-downs such as 'fat bitch' are hurtful, never forgotten and unlikely to inspire passion."
3 NO QUALITY TIME
One or both of you work long hours and by the time you've put the kids to bed, you have barely enough energy to watch TV.
"Practicalities get in the way because they're often urgent.
"But if this happens to the exclusion of everything else, it can be a serious passion killer."
Block out time every week for you and your partner to have an uninterrupted hour or so to get back in touch with each other as individuals.
If you can't afford a night out at a fancy restaurant, go for a walk or send the kids on a sleepover, order a takeaway, open a bottle of wine and switch the phone to voicemail.
"Keep the conversation away from anything domestic - this is quality time," says Denise.
4 EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY
It starts as casual flirting at work but soon you find you're looking forward to overtime because your fellow flirtee will be there. You start going for drinks together and even confiding stuff about your personal life.
"It's fine to have friends of the opposite sex but if you get close to someone at the expense of intimacy with your partner, your relationship could become damaged even if you don't have a fullblown affair," warns Denise. "This situation may be the first sign that all isn't well at home."
Think about why it's happened and address any issues with your partner (you don't have to admit you're attracted to someone else).
5 POOR BODY IMAGE
You've recently put on weight. Your partner insists you look great but you hate being seen naked and will do almost anything to avoid sex.
"You may not be able to transform yourself into a supermodel, but there are always things you can do to improve how you look and feel," says Denise.
Set small goals - for instance, a realistic exercise programme that fits in with your lifestyle and will help you tone up.
Buy yourself some flattering underwear, have a makeover and concentrate on your good points.
.......
10 STUCK IN A SEX RUT
When you first met, you couldn't leave each other alone. Now you'd rather go shopping than get it on.
Tracey Cox reckons the main obstacle to sex in long-term relationships is the misguided belief that it has to be a marathon. In her book Quickies (£6.39, Dorling Kindersley) she advises forgetting about orgasm as a goal and making the most of snatched periods of time to build up sexual tension so that when you do finally have sex it'll be explosive.
She also suggests sending sexy texts, having sex in different places, introducing sex toys, new positions and surprising your partner by ditching the passion-killer nightwear in favour of something a little more risque now and again.
This sends the message you think your partner's worth impressing, which makes them feel good so they make the effort back." .....
20070809
Friends
A friend and I were chatting, and we got to wondering:
Do you think you subconciously chose your friends because they have something you lack? Are they the check to your balance?
I have friends that are impulsive and social; those of you who know me know that I am NEVER impulsive (I overthink) and I am definitely not social(hermit comes to mind).
I have friends that are serious, quality bargain hunters, while I am defintely not.
See what I'm saying?
WTF Blogger ate this the first time.
Was also looking at trips abroad. The dollar is too weak. I love our current economic policy. Let the dollar stay week, because it encourages exports and sales of US products abroad. Meanwhile, people who want to travel or invest abroad are screwed.
Do you think you subconciously chose your friends because they have something you lack? Are they the check to your balance?
I have friends that are impulsive and social; those of you who know me know that I am NEVER impulsive (I overthink) and I am definitely not social(hermit comes to mind).
I have friends that are serious, quality bargain hunters, while I am defintely not.
See what I'm saying?
WTF Blogger ate this the first time.
Was also looking at trips abroad. The dollar is too weak. I love our current economic policy. Let the dollar stay week, because it encourages exports and sales of US products abroad. Meanwhile, people who want to travel or invest abroad are screwed.
Here is something else to think about:
What I wrote below could happen to you, at any time, at any place. Your life could just about be erased. You could never be heard from again. You could just...disappear?
Think I'm wrong? Think again. If it's easy for someone to steal your identity (hit your mailbox, your trash, rob your house, lift your wallet, phish you) and ruin your life, it is just as easy for some anonymous person/persons to come and whisk you off.
It's a slippery moral slope indeed, sanctioning torture as a government. But then again...who said government existed to be moral? I thought it existed to protect the interests of it's people? You can also make the argument that we should not torture just because our ever shifting and nebulous "enemies" do it...and that by doing it, we lower ourselves to their level. To which I say PSHAW! or perhaps PHOEY! It becomes a matter of splitting a hair. If you accept that taking another human life is wrong, then by extension war must be wrong (regardless of circumstance), therefore self defense is wrong (meek shall inherit, etc), and therefore you should lay down and let things be perpetrated against you.
Right. It's natural to fear death. It's natural to fight back, to stand up for yourself and assert yourself when threatened. 50 years of National Geographic should have taught us all that :-)
BTW, just because I said I agree with it doesn't mean I could do it myself. I would be frighteningly comfortable with the psychological aspects of it, but physical torture, sexual degredation, etc. would not be my cup of tea.
I find it ironic that I'm even having these thoughts. I consider myself a pacifist. I abhor violence. I do not even like boxing. I have only ever hit one person in my life (and I kicked her at that). I am still afraid of guns. I find the root of a modern war or conflict is always about economic gain, and not about an ideal. And yet to stop a war from happening - to stop so called collateral damage where the lives of other entirely innocent people happen to be claimed as we kill each other for whatever flavor we have this month - can one not make a case for SELECTIVELY being a bit persuasive?
Even some of the things I've read I've found disgusting. Modern tools aren't designed to just kill (like the Iron Maiden - ever seen one of those in real life? ugh), they are designed to break both your mind and your body. Waterboarding - strapping someone down and pouring water on their face to simulate drowning. Experts claim that if done properly waterboarding causes no lasting physical damage. If done improperly, the subject can break bones, have brain damage and die. It would be harder to say what it does to someone psychologically, but I've read where it has made people afraid to do simple daily tasks like take a shower. Can you imagine being afraid to take a shower? Ok, yes, I agree - that's a fucking bad thing, and no one should be subjected to that.
It does happen though. We do it to our own people to prepare them in case they are ever captured by enemy forces.
What about sensory deprivation? Is that torture? Some people do it for fun? Extended deprivation of all the senses can literally drive you mad. Wouldn't you break? The minute you saw light, or heard a noise other than the beat of your own heart, which you could feel but not hear, the relief would overwhelm you and you'd feel such gratitude that you would say anything to anyone just to not ever go back in the box.
Like I said: these things don't exactly sit comfortably with me. However...if the lives of 300 children and 50 teachers are at risk due to an impending biological attack, you had better bet that I will find out what I need to know in order to prevent those deaths.
Anyway, sorry, off soapbox.
I'm not offended at anything anyone has to say on this subject. I'm very curious actually to hear other POV's. I'd never really considered a stance on this until this year, except to blanketly say that "torture is wrong".
I've had a rethink.
What I wrote below could happen to you, at any time, at any place. Your life could just about be erased. You could never be heard from again. You could just...disappear?
Think I'm wrong? Think again. If it's easy for someone to steal your identity (hit your mailbox, your trash, rob your house, lift your wallet, phish you) and ruin your life, it is just as easy for some anonymous person/persons to come and whisk you off.
It's a slippery moral slope indeed, sanctioning torture as a government. But then again...who said government existed to be moral? I thought it existed to protect the interests of it's people? You can also make the argument that we should not torture just because our ever shifting and nebulous "enemies" do it...and that by doing it, we lower ourselves to their level. To which I say PSHAW! or perhaps PHOEY! It becomes a matter of splitting a hair. If you accept that taking another human life is wrong, then by extension war must be wrong (regardless of circumstance), therefore self defense is wrong (meek shall inherit, etc), and therefore you should lay down and let things be perpetrated against you.
Right. It's natural to fear death. It's natural to fight back, to stand up for yourself and assert yourself when threatened. 50 years of National Geographic should have taught us all that :-)
BTW, just because I said I agree with it doesn't mean I could do it myself. I would be frighteningly comfortable with the psychological aspects of it, but physical torture, sexual degredation, etc. would not be my cup of tea.
I find it ironic that I'm even having these thoughts. I consider myself a pacifist. I abhor violence. I do not even like boxing. I have only ever hit one person in my life (and I kicked her at that). I am still afraid of guns. I find the root of a modern war or conflict is always about economic gain, and not about an ideal. And yet to stop a war from happening - to stop so called collateral damage where the lives of other entirely innocent people happen to be claimed as we kill each other for whatever flavor we have this month - can one not make a case for SELECTIVELY being a bit persuasive?
Even some of the things I've read I've found disgusting. Modern tools aren't designed to just kill (like the Iron Maiden - ever seen one of those in real life? ugh), they are designed to break both your mind and your body. Waterboarding - strapping someone down and pouring water on their face to simulate drowning. Experts claim that if done properly waterboarding causes no lasting physical damage. If done improperly, the subject can break bones, have brain damage and die. It would be harder to say what it does to someone psychologically, but I've read where it has made people afraid to do simple daily tasks like take a shower. Can you imagine being afraid to take a shower? Ok, yes, I agree - that's a fucking bad thing, and no one should be subjected to that.
It does happen though. We do it to our own people to prepare them in case they are ever captured by enemy forces.
What about sensory deprivation? Is that torture? Some people do it for fun? Extended deprivation of all the senses can literally drive you mad. Wouldn't you break? The minute you saw light, or heard a noise other than the beat of your own heart, which you could feel but not hear, the relief would overwhelm you and you'd feel such gratitude that you would say anything to anyone just to not ever go back in the box.
Like I said: these things don't exactly sit comfortably with me. However...if the lives of 300 children and 50 teachers are at risk due to an impending biological attack, you had better bet that I will find out what I need to know in order to prevent those deaths.
Anyway, sorry, off soapbox.
I'm not offended at anything anyone has to say on this subject. I'm very curious actually to hear other POV's. I'd never really considered a stance on this until this year, except to blanketly say that "torture is wrong".
I've had a rethink.
Representation
Say you are someone taken captive by a government. Say said government whisks you away to a secret facility, where you are stripped, cavity searched, shoved naked into a room, given irregular portions of food at irregular hours, are denied sunlight, are innundated with white noise, are forced to stand for a day, or squat for two, or waterboarded. After a while, you lose track of who you are, or where you are, and your entire world becomes the walls of your cell. The outside world means nothing, and you are entirely dependent upon your captors.
Meanwhile, your family is wondering what happened to you. Where did you go? Where are you? Repeated requests for information both from your government and theirs are met with silence or outright denials. Rumors abound of "housing facilities" in other countries where people who fall into a "gray" status are kept. Is their child there? How would they find out? Could they sue? If they could, who would they sue?
Do you realize at this point that in the eyes of the world at large you no longer exist?
Do you realize that this fate could befall any of us at any moment?
Here is my issue: I support torture. Yes, yes I do. I believe that the application of torture (when carefully applied) can serve the best interests of the public at large. I am perfectly fine with sacrificing the right of the one to protect the rights of the many. Perfectly. I am not naive. The U.S. does torture; we just do not do it domestically. We do it in other countries, or through intermediaries, so at first blush we aren't getting our hands dirty. Don't lie to me and tell me we don't torture. Tell the public the truth - say yes, we torture, and we saved xxx amount of lives last year in a proposed terrorist attack due to information we were able to extract. Don't obscure the truth. Don't pass laws saying "combatants must be treated according to the Geneva Convention" and then by Executive Order sneakily circumvent this by passing your own bill that allows you to continue your offshore information collection programs.
Here are my two challenges: 1) I think everyone, regardless of national origin or religious preference (or plain nuttiness) has the basic right to legal representation. I find it immoral for any government to deny any detainee access to legal counsel. I find it inhumane to deny any detainee access to their families. But how do you allow someone to have legal counsel if that person doesn't technically exist? If the facility in which they are stored (Poland, Egypt, Israel, Mexico, Cuba, Germany, Russia) doesn't exist on paper? If the transport of those non existing people - flight manifests, private and government vehicle mileage reports and satellite tracks, etc. - is deliberately muddied thus obscuring the trail?
Lastly, so you've tortured this person you plucked from the field months ago, and reduced him to a shell of himself. What do you do with him? You can't take him home - he'd talk. You can't release him in a hospitable country...he'd still talk. What do you do?
Of course, knowing us, we'd just outsource his execution.
Meanwhile, your family is wondering what happened to you. Where did you go? Where are you? Repeated requests for information both from your government and theirs are met with silence or outright denials. Rumors abound of "housing facilities" in other countries where people who fall into a "gray" status are kept. Is their child there? How would they find out? Could they sue? If they could, who would they sue?
Do you realize at this point that in the eyes of the world at large you no longer exist?
Do you realize that this fate could befall any of us at any moment?
Here is my issue: I support torture. Yes, yes I do. I believe that the application of torture (when carefully applied) can serve the best interests of the public at large. I am perfectly fine with sacrificing the right of the one to protect the rights of the many. Perfectly. I am not naive. The U.S. does torture; we just do not do it domestically. We do it in other countries, or through intermediaries, so at first blush we aren't getting our hands dirty. Don't lie to me and tell me we don't torture. Tell the public the truth - say yes, we torture, and we saved xxx amount of lives last year in a proposed terrorist attack due to information we were able to extract. Don't obscure the truth. Don't pass laws saying "combatants must be treated according to the Geneva Convention" and then by Executive Order sneakily circumvent this by passing your own bill that allows you to continue your offshore information collection programs.
Here are my two challenges: 1) I think everyone, regardless of national origin or religious preference (or plain nuttiness) has the basic right to legal representation. I find it immoral for any government to deny any detainee access to legal counsel. I find it inhumane to deny any detainee access to their families. But how do you allow someone to have legal counsel if that person doesn't technically exist? If the facility in which they are stored (Poland, Egypt, Israel, Mexico, Cuba, Germany, Russia) doesn't exist on paper? If the transport of those non existing people - flight manifests, private and government vehicle mileage reports and satellite tracks, etc. - is deliberately muddied thus obscuring the trail?
Lastly, so you've tortured this person you plucked from the field months ago, and reduced him to a shell of himself. What do you do with him? You can't take him home - he'd talk. You can't release him in a hospitable country...he'd still talk. What do you do?
Of course, knowing us, we'd just outsource his execution.
20070808
WOW p2
A kind reader did point out to me that there are certain people who like to embrace said words in a bedroom context and find the use of said words rather naughty and thrilling.
Bully for them.
It just makes me think of housewife porn:
"Oh Thaddeus, please thrust your throbbing cock into my moist pussy".
Bully for them.
It just makes me think of housewife porn:
"Oh Thaddeus, please thrust your throbbing cock into my moist pussy".
I read in the paper this morning that the woman (here in Atlanta) who was killed last week along with two of her daughters was beaten to death. Her son and another young male relative are still in the hospital. She was in the U.S. seeking asylum for herself and her children - I believe she was Kenyan, and seeking to prevent her daughters from being forced to undergo female circumcision.
Sunday, I read about an African woman who was raped by a soldier. When he was finished, he put his rifle into her vagina and emptied the cartridge. Not only did she live, she walked for help herself. She now wants to become a nurse.
A retiree kills his wife with a nail gun, and then turns it on himself.
Another woman killed, presumably by a boyfriend, wrapped in sheets and blankets, and left in her apartment, wedged between the bed and the wall. Her head was wrapped in towels.
Shall I continue?
Sunday, I read about an African woman who was raped by a soldier. When he was finished, he put his rifle into her vagina and emptied the cartridge. Not only did she live, she walked for help herself. She now wants to become a nurse.
A retiree kills his wife with a nail gun, and then turns it on himself.
Another woman killed, presumably by a boyfriend, wrapped in sheets and blankets, and left in her apartment, wedged between the bed and the wall. Her head was wrapped in towels.
Shall I continue?
Words O Wisdom
Cunt
Whore
Slut
Bitch
Ever wonder why the worst words you can call someone are all related somehow to being a woman, and are all sexual slurs?
You'll note there are no equivalents that can be directed at men. Calling someone a bastard or an asshole or a cocksucker just doesn't have the same ring.
Ah, two thousand years of women being valued only for their role as sexual and reproductive objects have left us with SUCH a rich vocabulary.
Whore
Slut
Bitch
Ever wonder why the worst words you can call someone are all related somehow to being a woman, and are all sexual slurs?
You'll note there are no equivalents that can be directed at men. Calling someone a bastard or an asshole or a cocksucker just doesn't have the same ring.
Ah, two thousand years of women being valued only for their role as sexual and reproductive objects have left us with SUCH a rich vocabulary.
20070807
Made you Giggle
Courtesy of the NYTimes today:
Thai police who misbehave are forced to wear a FREAKING Hello Kitty Armband!
Thai police who misbehave are forced to wear a FREAKING Hello Kitty Armband!
20070806
Everyone's a Critic
Miss Madeline's taste in literature is developing, it seems.
Today, she informs me that she finds The Bell Jar quite unpalatable.
Indeed, undigestable.
As evidenced by the artfully shredded book all over my living room floor.
Please note that she left the neighboring copy of The Illiad alone.
Today, she informs me that she finds The Bell Jar quite unpalatable.
Indeed, undigestable.
As evidenced by the artfully shredded book all over my living room floor.
Please note that she left the neighboring copy of The Illiad alone.
I really haven't given much thought to the meaning behind my online moniker until...well, just now.
Eliza Dolittle. Portrayed quite beautifully/radiantly by Audrey Hepburn. Cockney flower girl seeks to improve station in life by paying for speech lessons. Rain in Spain and all that. Finds professor of elocution. Learns to speak the proper Kings English. Becomes a tool of the professor's arrogance, and yet still manages to fall in love with him. Has someone fall in love with her that could offer her an escape, and yet turns that down and returns to the professor, who realizes after all that he is in the wrong, and that she is the right one for him. I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face...the way she whistles night and noon...her ups her downs...are second nature to me now...like breathing out and breathing in....
Which brought me to an interesting point: why do we want the people we love to change? Why do we tell ourselves things like "I'd marry him if only he'd (insert here: grow up, get a job, put the seat down, wear matching socks, call his mother, mow the grass)" or say things like "Well, she's great but she's not wife material because (insert here: she's sloppy, she puts the toilet paper on the wrong way, she doesn't like to cook, she wants someone to look after her, she only does laundry once a month, she spends too much money, etc.).
As LG pointed out, the very things that initially attract us to someone end up being the things that we MOST want to change. Why is that?
Being a pop culture whore today (please note frequent use of the word doesn't disempower it), I conclude with a statement from a world famous, profound mariner:
"I am what I am" (toot toot!)
Eliza Dolittle. Portrayed quite beautifully/radiantly by Audrey Hepburn. Cockney flower girl seeks to improve station in life by paying for speech lessons. Rain in Spain and all that. Finds professor of elocution. Learns to speak the proper Kings English. Becomes a tool of the professor's arrogance, and yet still manages to fall in love with him. Has someone fall in love with her that could offer her an escape, and yet turns that down and returns to the professor, who realizes after all that he is in the wrong, and that she is the right one for him. I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face...the way she whistles night and noon...her ups her downs...are second nature to me now...like breathing out and breathing in....
Which brought me to an interesting point: why do we want the people we love to change? Why do we tell ourselves things like "I'd marry him if only he'd (insert here: grow up, get a job, put the seat down, wear matching socks, call his mother, mow the grass)" or say things like "Well, she's great but she's not wife material because (insert here: she's sloppy, she puts the toilet paper on the wrong way, she doesn't like to cook, she wants someone to look after her, she only does laundry once a month, she spends too much money, etc.).
As LG pointed out, the very things that initially attract us to someone end up being the things that we MOST want to change. Why is that?
Being a pop culture whore today (please note frequent use of the word doesn't disempower it), I conclude with a statement from a world famous, profound mariner:
"I am what I am" (toot toot!)
20070802
I have to think that out of extreme misery comes things of extreme joy. You know, Van Gogh was definitely gaga, and yet he managed to create some of the most beautiful and enduring works of art known to us today. Tchaikosvky (not bothering with spellcheck, sorry) was a depressed, gay bastard....but he sure did write some lovely music. Beethoven was depressed and partially deaf, but managed to write what he only could hear in his head. I don't think Hemingway was particularly happy either - now, I'm not too fond of his works, but arguably he's one of the American "greats".
How does one channel that blackness of emotion into something creative? I mean, it eats at you, doesn't it? If you are a creative person, and you have such issues, do you have to create in order to keep that blackness at bay?
Just curious.
How does one channel that blackness of emotion into something creative? I mean, it eats at you, doesn't it? If you are a creative person, and you have such issues, do you have to create in order to keep that blackness at bay?
Just curious.
It's a really bad idea to let me go to bed angry or upset. I tend to stew on it all night, and whatever was making me angry the night/day before just upsets me all the more.
You know, time teaches you to be a flexible person. I don't mean touching your toes, I mean, mentally and emotionally flexible. You learn to apologize and mean it, you learn to admit it when you are wrong, and to do it with grace and style. I admit it when I'm wrong (when I realize it), and if I was horrid, I apologize. It's a simple formula for keeping the peace, be it with friendships, relationships, family or whatever. Veerrrryyy simple, and learned at the parental knee. It's not a weakness; it's a sign of maturity.
Why don't some people get it?
You know, time teaches you to be a flexible person. I don't mean touching your toes, I mean, mentally and emotionally flexible. You learn to apologize and mean it, you learn to admit it when you are wrong, and to do it with grace and style. I admit it when I'm wrong (when I realize it), and if I was horrid, I apologize. It's a simple formula for keeping the peace, be it with friendships, relationships, family or whatever. Veerrrryyy simple, and learned at the parental knee. It's not a weakness; it's a sign of maturity.
Why don't some people get it?
Life Goes On, Yeah
La da da da life goes on!
Happy Thursday! Seems there never is enough time in the week to do anything these days, least of all time to take out for myself. How did that happen?
Nothing exciting happening in la la land. The normal SOSDD rules apply. Normal strife, work b/s (how is it when you take a vacation day and end up working your boss doesn't say "You know, Eliza, since you worked all day, this day doesn't COUNT as a vacation day?" - Just Curious). We've finally gotten to the part of the database class that I should be good at - the part where you do something instead of sitting around talking about freaking theory. The professional communications class? Oh, 100, of course. *yawn* No mid terms in either class, which is good...otherwise I'd be tied to the house this weekend.
And in relation to retail therapy - I was right. Mall, Money - everything sucks! I found one item that I really, really liked....and I may spend lots of money on a good Coach bag, but ask me to spend $130 on a sweater and I balk. Weird, I know. The fall stuff isn't really "in" yet...and what I saw wasn't impressive. Why is there no stuff for in between people? I swear, it's either all tarty teenage clothes or really fussy middle age mom clothes. Can't I be appealing and well dressed and thirty three? Please don't say Ann Taylor - I hate AT. Stodgy. Banana, yes...and when I can afford it...Anthropologie! Lovely things in there, simply lovely. Otherwise, INC from Macy's and an assorted hodge podge of stuff. I think I have some pants from the Limited; for some reason I have bright pink cords...don't know what possessed me....I don't even like pink.
Anyway, quite rambling. Don't want to go to work. Want to stay in bed and work on the house and do a ton of nothing today. Haven't read a book in two weeks. Most unlike me.
Happy Thursday! Seems there never is enough time in the week to do anything these days, least of all time to take out for myself. How did that happen?
Nothing exciting happening in la la land. The normal SOSDD rules apply. Normal strife, work b/s (how is it when you take a vacation day and end up working your boss doesn't say "You know, Eliza, since you worked all day, this day doesn't COUNT as a vacation day?" - Just Curious). We've finally gotten to the part of the database class that I should be good at - the part where you do something instead of sitting around talking about freaking theory. The professional communications class? Oh, 100, of course. *yawn* No mid terms in either class, which is good...otherwise I'd be tied to the house this weekend.
And in relation to retail therapy - I was right. Mall, Money - everything sucks! I found one item that I really, really liked....and I may spend lots of money on a good Coach bag, but ask me to spend $130 on a sweater and I balk. Weird, I know. The fall stuff isn't really "in" yet...and what I saw wasn't impressive. Why is there no stuff for in between people? I swear, it's either all tarty teenage clothes or really fussy middle age mom clothes. Can't I be appealing and well dressed and thirty three? Please don't say Ann Taylor - I hate AT. Stodgy. Banana, yes...and when I can afford it...Anthropologie! Lovely things in there, simply lovely. Otherwise, INC from Macy's and an assorted hodge podge of stuff. I think I have some pants from the Limited; for some reason I have bright pink cords...don't know what possessed me....I don't even like pink.
Anyway, quite rambling. Don't want to go to work. Want to stay in bed and work on the house and do a ton of nothing today. Haven't read a book in two weeks. Most unlike me.
20070801
20070726
Reprehensible
Why does the penis govern the male brain? I really do want to know what makes it acceptable behavior for a man to decide to betray one woman by sleeping with another? I may be naive, but I do think that men do this to women more than women do this to men. And why lie about it? Why CONTINUOUSLY lie about it when asked? Don't have the cojones to fess up? Just curious.
Happiness
So, commenting on LimerickGal's post...
What is happiness?
Hm.
Simple, to me.
A quiet day.
Puppy kisses.
Sand beneath my toes.
The stars in the night sky.
Everything else is just....
nothing.
What is happiness?
Hm.
Simple, to me.
A quiet day.
Puppy kisses.
Sand beneath my toes.
The stars in the night sky.
Everything else is just....
nothing.
Pardon My French
But my cousin's ex boyfriend is a lilly livered, stupid, barbaric, moronic, fucking asshole! I hate to wish anyone ill, but seriously, that was the nastiest, meanest type of trick to ever play on anyone. I think all the girls in the family will collectively have an urge to do him some serious bodily harm.
So, cousin dearest, do not spend another microsecond wasting your thoughts on that waste of molecular space. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, and don't let your own self introspection turn this into something negative that you use to hurt yourself with. He is not worth the dirt on your shoe. Actually, he probably measures somewhere between pond scum and the funk that grows on the inside of a sewer pipe in the city central. Seriously, I wouldn't even let him take out my trash!
And if that fother mucker calls you again, hang up the damn phone! Better yet, get a new number!
So, cousin dearest, do not spend another microsecond wasting your thoughts on that waste of molecular space. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, and don't let your own self introspection turn this into something negative that you use to hurt yourself with. He is not worth the dirt on your shoe. Actually, he probably measures somewhere between pond scum and the funk that grows on the inside of a sewer pipe in the city central. Seriously, I wouldn't even let him take out my trash!
And if that fother mucker calls you again, hang up the damn phone! Better yet, get a new number!
20070725
20070724
Michael Vick
For once, I agree with PETA.
Yes, lightening did hit me in the head.
Michael Vick should be fired.
What kind of role model does he set? I don't care that he's an athelete, an entertainer, whatever, and should not be a role model. Fuck off. Anyone that's as public as he is just so happens to be a role model.
And what a role model. A dog fighting, dog killing, half assed quarterback with a rapists in the family tree.
And he's gonna continue to play for Atlanta?
Yes, lightening did hit me in the head.
Michael Vick should be fired.
What kind of role model does he set? I don't care that he's an athelete, an entertainer, whatever, and should not be a role model. Fuck off. Anyone that's as public as he is just so happens to be a role model.
And what a role model. A dog fighting, dog killing, half assed quarterback with a rapists in the family tree.
And he's gonna continue to play for Atlanta?
20070723
I cannot believe I’m having this conversation. When you are young, and stupid, you have sex for the novelty of it. Whenever you can, regardless of the quality of the experience.
As I have aged, I have realized that my mother was right.
Wow, I can’t believe I just said that.
It is absolutely worthless unless you are doing it with someone you love, and if not love, care for deeply. You have that trust – you know, being vulnerable, exposing yourself, relaxing your self control enough to enjoy the experience, etc. It’s just…better. More intense. I can’t speak for you, but I want it more. I want to touch more, and snuggle, and kiss. I can’t explain it, but I’m more giving…more…open.
Oh, that doesn't mean that I can't have sex if I don't love someone. I can; but you are leaving when it's over, and I won't ever really be engaged. My mind will be a million miles away or thinking of a million different things.
You know what? Without mutual love and respect I might as well be brushing my fucking teeth. So what’s the point then?
As I have aged, I have realized that my mother was right.
Wow, I can’t believe I just said that.
It is absolutely worthless unless you are doing it with someone you love, and if not love, care for deeply. You have that trust – you know, being vulnerable, exposing yourself, relaxing your self control enough to enjoy the experience, etc. It’s just…better. More intense. I can’t speak for you, but I want it more. I want to touch more, and snuggle, and kiss. I can’t explain it, but I’m more giving…more…open.
Oh, that doesn't mean that I can't have sex if I don't love someone. I can; but you are leaving when it's over, and I won't ever really be engaged. My mind will be a million miles away or thinking of a million different things.
You know what? Without mutual love and respect I might as well be brushing my fucking teeth. So what’s the point then?
Railroaded
Do people still come with ears and eyes?
Or did I miss some freak of evolution whereby we stopped having ears and eyes?
Some things have lately caught my eyes and ears, if no one else’s.
In our modern and ultra technological times, I think we’ve lost the ability to hear. No, I don’t mean that our ears have collectively dropped off of our heads! I mean that we’ve lost the capacity to really listen and understand what another person is saying. I feel like I’m really whistling into the wind; evidently I’m the only one who can hear myself!
When was the last time you sat down with a mate, your spouse, a good friend and really had a down to earth chat? Where you really got what the other person was feeling and thinking?
Or did I miss some freak of evolution whereby we stopped having ears and eyes?
Some things have lately caught my eyes and ears, if no one else’s.
In our modern and ultra technological times, I think we’ve lost the ability to hear. No, I don’t mean that our ears have collectively dropped off of our heads! I mean that we’ve lost the capacity to really listen and understand what another person is saying. I feel like I’m really whistling into the wind; evidently I’m the only one who can hear myself!
When was the last time you sat down with a mate, your spouse, a good friend and really had a down to earth chat? Where you really got what the other person was feeling and thinking?
20070722
This falls under the "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
Also know as wtf.
I laughed so hard, I had tears rolling down my face.
Also know as wtf.
I laughed so hard, I had tears rolling down my face.
20070720
M, F, or KIIIILLLLLLLLL
Right, LimerickGal and I are sitting here being sassy...and playing that all time classic of time wasting games...
Who would you Marry, Who Would you Fuck, and Who Would you KILLLLLLLLL!!!!!
For the purposes of this exercise, we have restricted ourselves to celebrities only.....
Angelina Jolie - Fuck. If I were a man, I'd make a crude observation about her lower lip. But I'm not, so I won't. Instead, I'll merely point out that I COULD make a crude observation, and leave it at that.
Titney Spears - Oh, Kill. Eviscerate. As a matter of fact, as LG just asked, I wouldn't even pity fuck her. Too many nasty, skanky miles on her.
Posh - I am creating a special fourth category just for a few people on our list. It's called Ass Fuck. 'Nuff said.
Paris Hilton - That's so NOT HAWT!
Nicole Kidman - Marry. Ummmmmm. Redheads. Aussie. Pale. *Shiver*
Ellen - You know, we had a heated debate over Ellen. Personally I think she was much funnier about ten years ago. But LG pointed out that she was quite rich, and comes already paired with her own personal Barbie (see below).
Portia DeRossi - oh - Fuck. Wait, do I hear the cows coming home? Why, I think I do?
Kate Beckinsdale - Marry, but only if she dresses like she did in Van Helsing. And wears that red ballgown. Grrrr.
Rosie O'Donnell - definitely dead. And with an apple in her mouth.
Johnny Depp - well, overrated...and he always looks like he needs a bath. So....fuck. Although he was rather adorable in Chocolat...
Orlando - Kill. He looked good as an elf. Otherwise, I wish he'd shave. And he whinges.
Hugh Jackman - Marry!!! (Dimples!)
Ewan - Marry!!!! (Dimples! and other things that shan't be mentioned here...family blog, you know)
Sean Bean - oh, fuck....if he wears the suit from Sharpe's Rifles.
Colin Firth - Marry. He's just too charming. Cute, funny, modest, charming, witty....shall I continue to nauseaute you?
Jack Black - funny man or no, disgusting. Kill. Slowly. Buried in the sand in the desert covered in honey. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Jemimma Rooper - Marry. She's a charming thing. Fetching. I love her.
Russell Crowe - kill
Christian Bale - hm. kill? Ambivalent there?
Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Hugh Grant go in the aforementioned Posh category. A F. No lube. P.S. I think Hugh Grant suffers from SDS.
Stuart Townsend - Marry. As Lestat! Does he come already paired with Charlize? that might be a double bonus?!!!
Daniel Craig/Adrian Brody - Fuck.
Jonas Armstrong - know who that is? Ah, then I won't tell ye my answer!
Colin Farrell/Tommy Lee/Leonardo DiCaprio - not even with a bath of lysol. Never, ever. How freaking disgusting.
Goran Visnjic - Practical Magic. ER. What's not to love? Even if he does wear his pants a bit too high.
Darling Limerick....your turn! Sidenote: the above answers are mine and mine alone. LG does not totally agree with me. In fact, her answers will be posted ala commentary....
Who would you Marry, Who Would you Fuck, and Who Would you KILLLLLLLLL!!!!!
For the purposes of this exercise, we have restricted ourselves to celebrities only.....
Angelina Jolie - Fuck. If I were a man, I'd make a crude observation about her lower lip. But I'm not, so I won't. Instead, I'll merely point out that I COULD make a crude observation, and leave it at that.
Titney Spears - Oh, Kill. Eviscerate. As a matter of fact, as LG just asked, I wouldn't even pity fuck her. Too many nasty, skanky miles on her.
Posh - I am creating a special fourth category just for a few people on our list. It's called Ass Fuck. 'Nuff said.
Paris Hilton - That's so NOT HAWT!
Nicole Kidman - Marry. Ummmmmm. Redheads. Aussie. Pale. *Shiver*
Ellen - You know, we had a heated debate over Ellen. Personally I think she was much funnier about ten years ago. But LG pointed out that she was quite rich, and comes already paired with her own personal Barbie (see below).
Portia DeRossi - oh - Fuck. Wait, do I hear the cows coming home? Why, I think I do?
Kate Beckinsdale - Marry, but only if she dresses like she did in Van Helsing. And wears that red ballgown. Grrrr.
Rosie O'Donnell - definitely dead. And with an apple in her mouth.
Johnny Depp - well, overrated...and he always looks like he needs a bath. So....fuck. Although he was rather adorable in Chocolat...
Orlando - Kill. He looked good as an elf. Otherwise, I wish he'd shave. And he whinges.
Hugh Jackman - Marry!!! (Dimples!)
Ewan - Marry!!!! (Dimples! and other things that shan't be mentioned here...family blog, you know)
Sean Bean - oh, fuck....if he wears the suit from Sharpe's Rifles.
Colin Firth - Marry. He's just too charming. Cute, funny, modest, charming, witty....shall I continue to nauseaute you?
Jack Black - funny man or no, disgusting. Kill. Slowly. Buried in the sand in the desert covered in honey. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Jemimma Rooper - Marry. She's a charming thing. Fetching. I love her.
Russell Crowe - kill
Christian Bale - hm. kill? Ambivalent there?
Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Hugh Grant go in the aforementioned Posh category. A F. No lube. P.S. I think Hugh Grant suffers from SDS.
Stuart Townsend - Marry. As Lestat! Does he come already paired with Charlize? that might be a double bonus?!!!
Daniel Craig/Adrian Brody - Fuck.
Jonas Armstrong - know who that is? Ah, then I won't tell ye my answer!
Colin Farrell/Tommy Lee/Leonardo DiCaprio - not even with a bath of lysol. Never, ever. How freaking disgusting.
Goran Visnjic - Practical Magic. ER. What's not to love? Even if he does wear his pants a bit too high.
Darling Limerick....your turn! Sidenote: the above answers are mine and mine alone. LG does not totally agree with me. In fact, her answers will be posted ala commentary....
20070719
I can't believe I forgot to mention this.
I never even look at my Amex bill. I just assume that it sucks, and I just pay on it and hope that one day I win the lottery.
I happened to look at it on Sunday, because I went to use my Amex for a small purchase at the Depot and it was declined. Hmmm, I said, so I logged on and looked at my statement.
Well, evidently, I was in Marbella at the exact same time I was in Home Depot.
Right, in Spain. Two places at once.
So I ring Home Depot, validate that I'm who I say I am (you know, nine million questions, forms of identity, etc etc), and get a real person and out of IVR. The real person says "Oh, I will back that charge off, cancel this card, send you a new one, and start the dispute process". To which I add, "could you please flag this as potential fraud and monitor any incoming transactions?" and the kindly lady assures me that she will.
Tuesday, I log in again.
Not only am I in two countries at once, I am having a damn good time. I am traveling ALL OVER Spain, to every freaking high end resort town and having several nights on the town. My doppelganger has spent somewhere around $1500. Not only has the card not been inactivated, it hasn't been flagged for fraud activity either! Back on the phone to Amex. First, I'm told that the fraud line is backed up, and politely asked if I will phone back in an hour. Politely. WTF? Phone back I do, several times. Three times I am disconnected, and the fourth time I make whatever phone widgetansweringperson stay on the phone with me until I connect to a nice lady named Shanna, who stayed on the phone with me for half an hour until we validated that everything was taken care of.
Putting two and two together, either my purchase two months ago at the Mexi place near work OR my $3.27 bacon, egg and cheese sandwich in our shitty cafeteria downstairs on June 27 popped me into a credit card fraud ring (we were sent an email at work...I admit...I didn't read it...our site communicator sends so many of them that I see an email with his name on it and automatically delete it).
Ah, the drama!
I never even look at my Amex bill. I just assume that it sucks, and I just pay on it and hope that one day I win the lottery.
I happened to look at it on Sunday, because I went to use my Amex for a small purchase at the Depot and it was declined. Hmmm, I said, so I logged on and looked at my statement.
Well, evidently, I was in Marbella at the exact same time I was in Home Depot.
Right, in Spain. Two places at once.
So I ring Home Depot, validate that I'm who I say I am (you know, nine million questions, forms of identity, etc etc), and get a real person and out of IVR. The real person says "Oh, I will back that charge off, cancel this card, send you a new one, and start the dispute process". To which I add, "could you please flag this as potential fraud and monitor any incoming transactions?" and the kindly lady assures me that she will.
Tuesday, I log in again.
Not only am I in two countries at once, I am having a damn good time. I am traveling ALL OVER Spain, to every freaking high end resort town and having several nights on the town. My doppelganger has spent somewhere around $1500. Not only has the card not been inactivated, it hasn't been flagged for fraud activity either! Back on the phone to Amex. First, I'm told that the fraud line is backed up, and politely asked if I will phone back in an hour. Politely. WTF? Phone back I do, several times. Three times I am disconnected, and the fourth time I make whatever phone widgetansweringperson stay on the phone with me until I connect to a nice lady named Shanna, who stayed on the phone with me for half an hour until we validated that everything was taken care of.
Putting two and two together, either my purchase two months ago at the Mexi place near work OR my $3.27 bacon, egg and cheese sandwich in our shitty cafeteria downstairs on June 27 popped me into a credit card fraud ring (we were sent an email at work...I admit...I didn't read it...our site communicator sends so many of them that I see an email with his name on it and automatically delete it).
Ah, the drama!
Daft
Well, as excited as I was about the possibility of renting out rooms...
I'm not sure I can do it.
I mean, I know I'm odd, but other people are just fucking weird.
Last night's candidate is a grandmother (but under fifty), long ratted blond hair, blue eyeliner and shadow, and from Dawsonville. Did I mention she drinks tequila? I bet she likes NASCAR.
I think she would drive me nuts.
I will just be poor instead. It will motivate me to work hard and sell the house. Fast.
I'm not sure I can do it.
I mean, I know I'm odd, but other people are just fucking weird.
Last night's candidate is a grandmother (but under fifty), long ratted blond hair, blue eyeliner and shadow, and from Dawsonville. Did I mention she drinks tequila? I bet she likes NASCAR.
I think she would drive me nuts.
I will just be poor instead. It will motivate me to work hard and sell the house. Fast.
20070716
You know, I think my feelings are hurt. I was rather proud of the word "popporn" and no one said a thing! Gosh darnit!
A thorough financial analysis has led me to believe that I can't live in this house by myself, if it comes down to it. Well, I can...but I'd be on the starvation diet. I have to have one roommate...ideally two. So I've taken out an ad in craigslist to rent out the two rooms beneath me...hopefully to some girl who is going to school (or something to that effect). No responses yet, but I have hope!
The more I think about it the more I realize that the life I'm currently leading is not for me. I've let myself be seduced by the trappings of middle class "luxury". I've tried to mold myself into something I'm plainly not (I mean, seriously...I spent two years with acrylic nails...hello!!!!). I wasn't raised that way. Why? Ah, I'm still working on figuring that out. But I have got to get out, really and truly. I'll be the female Willy Loman, stuck in a downward spiral of memory and dementia. Won't that be lovely?
Hah! And how I am a member of the bourgeois, ever overtaxed, with none of the real privleges of wealth. But I can walk down (as I said in an earlier path) a simpler path...
and indeed I shall!
But that doesn't mean I'll stop shaving my legs and armpits. I don't mean to become THAT barbaric.
A thorough financial analysis has led me to believe that I can't live in this house by myself, if it comes down to it. Well, I can...but I'd be on the starvation diet. I have to have one roommate...ideally two. So I've taken out an ad in craigslist to rent out the two rooms beneath me...hopefully to some girl who is going to school (or something to that effect). No responses yet, but I have hope!
The more I think about it the more I realize that the life I'm currently leading is not for me. I've let myself be seduced by the trappings of middle class "luxury". I've tried to mold myself into something I'm plainly not (I mean, seriously...I spent two years with acrylic nails...hello!!!!). I wasn't raised that way. Why? Ah, I'm still working on figuring that out. But I have got to get out, really and truly. I'll be the female Willy Loman, stuck in a downward spiral of memory and dementia. Won't that be lovely?
Hah! And how I am a member of the bourgeois, ever overtaxed, with none of the real privleges of wealth. But I can walk down (as I said in an earlier path) a simpler path...
and indeed I shall!
But that doesn't mean I'll stop shaving my legs and armpits. I don't mean to become THAT barbaric.
20070715
Why oh why is this even making the news?
The Beckhams in America????
I can't WAIT for Posh's program to be on television so I will have something completely new to ridicule.
Farcical Aquatic Tart.
Lazy on the spell check again.
This is the first night in a week and a half that my house is totally and completely silent. I am the only one here. I adore it, I really do. That's not to say I don't like having people around me, because I do...but once in a while I really need some time to myself. I've not felt right today, and the dogs and I have spent the day on the couch writing two papers and doing two classes (work) and in general dozing the day away. This morning my grandmother said "Eliza, you have HUGE circles under your eyes! what is wrong with you!" That's sooo charming!
Why do I pay to keep the pool open if I never use it? Does that even make any sense?
It's been good to see LilSis again, although she makes me feel fat as a house. In fact, the dietary requirements of the three sisters have made for an interesting weekend. I never eat the following things: mayo, dressing, any cream sauce, any kind of gravy, any sauce, or any soft cheese, or ice cream, or in general fast food (unless truly desperate). LilSis does not eat anything fried, or any bread, or any pasta, or any fast food, or any tomato sauce, or any gravy, or any dessert. MidSis is on a diet, so is off the dessert, the fast food, and the pasta. So dinner on Saturday night with the relatives was in general a bust. The menu was: fried fish (ixnay for LilSis and Me - yuck), coleslaw (me and mid sis - yuck ), hushpuppies (all three of us - yuck), potato salad, german and egg (me - yuck yuck yuck), and melon (we all three ate that). Thank goodness we didn't actually try and cook for all of us. We'd never have agreed on anything to eat. Maybe....steamed asparagus, broccoli, and baked chicken? I think we could've all agreed to that. Christmas is going to be fun, I can tell you right now...I'll have to plan out the menu VERY carefully. So much for a Southern Fried Christmas!
The Beckhams in America????
I can't WAIT for Posh's program to be on television so I will have something completely new to ridicule.
Farcical Aquatic Tart.
Lazy on the spell check again.
This is the first night in a week and a half that my house is totally and completely silent. I am the only one here. I adore it, I really do. That's not to say I don't like having people around me, because I do...but once in a while I really need some time to myself. I've not felt right today, and the dogs and I have spent the day on the couch writing two papers and doing two classes (work) and in general dozing the day away. This morning my grandmother said "Eliza, you have HUGE circles under your eyes! what is wrong with you!" That's sooo charming!
Why do I pay to keep the pool open if I never use it? Does that even make any sense?
It's been good to see LilSis again, although she makes me feel fat as a house. In fact, the dietary requirements of the three sisters have made for an interesting weekend. I never eat the following things: mayo, dressing, any cream sauce, any kind of gravy, any sauce, or any soft cheese, or ice cream, or in general fast food (unless truly desperate). LilSis does not eat anything fried, or any bread, or any pasta, or any fast food, or any tomato sauce, or any gravy, or any dessert. MidSis is on a diet, so is off the dessert, the fast food, and the pasta. So dinner on Saturday night with the relatives was in general a bust. The menu was: fried fish (ixnay for LilSis and Me - yuck), coleslaw (me and mid sis - yuck ), hushpuppies (all three of us - yuck), potato salad, german and egg (me - yuck yuck yuck), and melon (we all three ate that). Thank goodness we didn't actually try and cook for all of us. We'd never have agreed on anything to eat. Maybe....steamed asparagus, broccoli, and baked chicken? I think we could've all agreed to that. Christmas is going to be fun, I can tell you right now...I'll have to plan out the menu VERY carefully. So much for a Southern Fried Christmas!
20070713
Ah, the conclusion to the week from hell.
It’s safe to say that your path in life is entirely made up of your own choices. You drive your own destiny. Yeah, you can make an argument than your environment limits your opportunity, and I buy that (someone living in a mud hut with no electricity is not likely to grow up to be a computer engineer). By and large, somehow in that strange combination of nature and nurture we learn enough to be able to successfully maneuver through this artificial world of ours. How well you do it, and how well your own actions sit with you, is up to you.
Pithy but true: one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. We can’t all be rich. We can’t all be beautiful. The things you throw out today, someone tomorrow will find and see an item that with a little attention can be made beautiful again. You only think people have expectations of you; in reality, you disappoint only yourself . You project your own disappointments and senses of failure onto other people because it is easier than fixing the blame where it belongs – on you.
And your emotional life is going to follow some basic principals – to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Knowing this, why put yourself in situations that you know will have a negative or harmful outcome?
I fall into this trap much too often myself.
I realized this week that I am so wrapped up in hatred of this house; Lil Sis (who is down this week) said “wow, this house looks so good, and so much better than it did. You’ve done a good job!” and rather than say thank you, I snorted and proceeded to tell her how much I hated it. What is wrong with me? I had to think about it, really, and it came to me that the reason I hate this house so much is because it represents one of my five big life mistakes, and it’s the last one I have to get rid of before I can totally move on and be free of my past.
Big Five: getting married to my ex, buying this house, paying for the divorce, giving him all the furnishings and buying completely new everythings, and giving the Rebel my old car.
Realizing this was actually…uplifting. I suddenly had a desire to actually DO things…like paint, rearrange, and fix! Amazing!
The only one who can save you, btw, is you. Anything else is a band aid.
It’s safe to say that your path in life is entirely made up of your own choices. You drive your own destiny. Yeah, you can make an argument than your environment limits your opportunity, and I buy that (someone living in a mud hut with no electricity is not likely to grow up to be a computer engineer). By and large, somehow in that strange combination of nature and nurture we learn enough to be able to successfully maneuver through this artificial world of ours. How well you do it, and how well your own actions sit with you, is up to you.
Pithy but true: one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. We can’t all be rich. We can’t all be beautiful. The things you throw out today, someone tomorrow will find and see an item that with a little attention can be made beautiful again. You only think people have expectations of you; in reality, you disappoint only yourself . You project your own disappointments and senses of failure onto other people because it is easier than fixing the blame where it belongs – on you.
And your emotional life is going to follow some basic principals – to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Knowing this, why put yourself in situations that you know will have a negative or harmful outcome?
I fall into this trap much too often myself.
I realized this week that I am so wrapped up in hatred of this house; Lil Sis (who is down this week) said “wow, this house looks so good, and so much better than it did. You’ve done a good job!” and rather than say thank you, I snorted and proceeded to tell her how much I hated it. What is wrong with me? I had to think about it, really, and it came to me that the reason I hate this house so much is because it represents one of my five big life mistakes, and it’s the last one I have to get rid of before I can totally move on and be free of my past.
Big Five: getting married to my ex, buying this house, paying for the divorce, giving him all the furnishings and buying completely new everythings, and giving the Rebel my old car.
Realizing this was actually…uplifting. I suddenly had a desire to actually DO things…like paint, rearrange, and fix! Amazing!
The only one who can save you, btw, is you. Anything else is a band aid.
20070711
Truly, Madly, Deeply
Really, I'm fine. Thinking on the way home, obviously there's a lesson buried somewhere in all this and am wondering if I'm smart enough to ferret it out. Ferret doesn't look right, but am too lazy to c&p in word to proof.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
What doesn't kill you....
Eh, fuck it, you get the idea.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
What doesn't kill you....
Eh, fuck it, you get the idea.
Things
Just things
1. I was told that I need to "man up" in relationships and stop being so nice. Of course, this led to an interesting discussion - if the roles were reversed (economically), could I actually relax and let a man take care of me? I don't know. Then I was asked, if I had a baby, and wanted to stay home and raise it, could I actually let go enough to do it? And I don’t know the answer to that either (but I think it’s no).
2. Man up, that's funny!
3. Ok, about the Geico airport commercial. Something disturbs me. What kind of racquet is he carrying and why? It looks like a badminton racquet...it's too small to be a tennis racquet. Why would you carry either one on vacation if your name isn't Federer? Doesn’t that strike you as odd? That’s like those bathtubs with no source of water in the vineyard in the Cialis commercials. That bothers me too.
4. Finally, it is absolutely lovely to have friends that are concerned enough about the state of your wellbeing to go out of their way to check on you. Thanks, darling….that was more appreciated than you know!
1. I was told that I need to "man up" in relationships and stop being so nice. Of course, this led to an interesting discussion - if the roles were reversed (economically), could I actually relax and let a man take care of me? I don't know. Then I was asked, if I had a baby, and wanted to stay home and raise it, could I actually let go enough to do it? And I don’t know the answer to that either (but I think it’s no).
2. Man up, that's funny!
3. Ok, about the Geico airport commercial. Something disturbs me. What kind of racquet is he carrying and why? It looks like a badminton racquet...it's too small to be a tennis racquet. Why would you carry either one on vacation if your name isn't Federer? Doesn’t that strike you as odd? That’s like those bathtubs with no source of water in the vineyard in the Cialis commercials. That bothers me too.
4. Finally, it is absolutely lovely to have friends that are concerned enough about the state of your wellbeing to go out of their way to check on you. Thanks, darling….that was more appreciated than you know!
Land of the Living Dead
Kidding!
Wanted to let you know that all is well on the western front. Things proceeding as normal, which means snafu is in it's regularly scheduled programming. Life is compounded by incoming strays and outbound flights with Betty Ford. That damn magic eight ball keeps saying "future cloudy".
Wanted to let you know that all is well on the western front. Things proceeding as normal, which means snafu is in it's regularly scheduled programming. Life is compounded by incoming strays and outbound flights with Betty Ford. That damn magic eight ball keeps saying "future cloudy".
20070710
PopPorn
When did pornography become a par t of mainstream culture?
Long gone are the days when Playboy and Penthouse were dirty magazines stashed somewhere in your dad’s bathroom, or under your brother’s mattress, to be discovered and consumed with a feminine sense of wonder (oh my god, am I going to look like THAT when I grow up? Ewww!). It seems to be that porn is now everywhere.
What red blooded occupant of the Western world hasn’t seen a pornographic image? Watched a video, seen an mpeg? I’d say…oh, the only people who haven’t are folks without a computer.
And we’ve become so accepting of something that for years was seen as exploitative of women. Women have even become accepting of it, and now voluntarily participate it, in the name of embracing their sexuality (and in making a buck or three). You don’t think it’s still just a teensy bit degrading…to maybe say that the only thing worthwhile about a woman is what she looks like naked at one particular point in time? I mean, you aren’t looking at porn to hear someone’s voice, or to read her resume, or to find out what her favorite books are.
So, years ago the big scandal was Rob Lowe – remember – so coked up he couldn’t get it up filming himself with two girls (wasn’t one underage?). Now we have every half baked faux celebrity leaking a sex tape to boost their image. Does this predict a trend? Does this mean that in ten years regular people will think nothing of…say, putting a little video of themselves having sex with their ex out on their match.com profile? As a way of advertising, if you will.
In an age where we are literally, at all ages, inundated by sexual imagery – Bratz dolls, children’s cartoons where characters have anatomically ridiculous proportions, Kotex commercials, Cialis commercials, Viagra commercials, “chat line” commercials, people smooching over diamond rings, etc. etc. Doesn’t anything remain private? Doesn’t anything remain special and just between two people, or is it all fair game for mass distribution for mass entertainment?
Long gone are the days when Playboy and Penthouse were dirty magazines stashed somewhere in your dad’s bathroom, or under your brother’s mattress, to be discovered and consumed with a feminine sense of wonder (oh my god, am I going to look like THAT when I grow up? Ewww!). It seems to be that porn is now everywhere.
What red blooded occupant of the Western world hasn’t seen a pornographic image? Watched a video, seen an mpeg? I’d say…oh, the only people who haven’t are folks without a computer.
And we’ve become so accepting of something that for years was seen as exploitative of women. Women have even become accepting of it, and now voluntarily participate it, in the name of embracing their sexuality (and in making a buck or three). You don’t think it’s still just a teensy bit degrading…to maybe say that the only thing worthwhile about a woman is what she looks like naked at one particular point in time? I mean, you aren’t looking at porn to hear someone’s voice, or to read her resume, or to find out what her favorite books are.
So, years ago the big scandal was Rob Lowe – remember – so coked up he couldn’t get it up filming himself with two girls (wasn’t one underage?). Now we have every half baked faux celebrity leaking a sex tape to boost their image. Does this predict a trend? Does this mean that in ten years regular people will think nothing of…say, putting a little video of themselves having sex with their ex out on their match.com profile? As a way of advertising, if you will.
In an age where we are literally, at all ages, inundated by sexual imagery – Bratz dolls, children’s cartoons where characters have anatomically ridiculous proportions, Kotex commercials, Cialis commercials, Viagra commercials, “chat line” commercials, people smooching over diamond rings, etc. etc. Doesn’t anything remain private? Doesn’t anything remain special and just between two people, or is it all fair game for mass distribution for mass entertainment?
20070709
Must must must say something.
Anyone here read the local rag? Specifically that stupid column where they pit the super conservative woman against the super liberal woman and give them some dumb thing to debate? I’m not naming names, since I find that terribly rude, but I’m sure you can figure it out if you care to try.
Last week, one of the topics was something incredibly topical like "are romance novels ruining women's expectations of marriage".
As was expected, the conservative lady (in her little lavender sweater set) said "of course they are, they give women the wrong idea, and of course they are all about S..E...X" (Now, I'm paraphrasing here people, so don't go get all literal on me). Then she goes on to say that she thinks these kind of books ought not to be published.
Well clutch my pearls!
I think, really, just maybe, quite possibly, that the collective intelligence of women across the world has just been insulted.
Are we so lacking in grey matter that we are unable to determine a work of fiction from a work of non fiction? (I mean, whose bosoms heave? Ever met a man named Nigel Greystoke who lived in a manor home called Broadriver? Ever met a woman named Penelope Smithingale? ever danced a waltz? been abducted by an Indian? been attacked by pirates? foiled a plot against the crown? Been struck on the head and awoken in a foreign country? Been sold to a harem? Stolen from a convent? just running through some popular themes here)
Evidently, we ARE lacking in said grey matter; so much so that we are unable to think for ourselves. Since we can't think for ourselves, we shouldn't be allowed to have access to anything that might cause us enjoyment, or might be about (shhhhh) S...E....X.
Hey, I like these books. They are...mental popporn. Good for passing the time. Good for a giggle. Sometimes even good for reminiscing (remember when you thought oral sex was kinda shocking?) . They certainly never gave me irrational ideas about what relationships should be like. I recognize them for what they are – housewife porn. I don’t think men look at Maxim for serious marital advice (at least, I hope not).
What makes me uneasy is that someone else would even say the words out loud "I don't think these books should be published".
Darling, you simply must tell me where you got that that lavender burqa!!
Anyone here read the local rag? Specifically that stupid column where they pit the super conservative woman against the super liberal woman and give them some dumb thing to debate? I’m not naming names, since I find that terribly rude, but I’m sure you can figure it out if you care to try.
Last week, one of the topics was something incredibly topical like "are romance novels ruining women's expectations of marriage".
As was expected, the conservative lady (in her little lavender sweater set) said "of course they are, they give women the wrong idea, and of course they are all about S..E...X" (Now, I'm paraphrasing here people, so don't go get all literal on me). Then she goes on to say that she thinks these kind of books ought not to be published.
Well clutch my pearls!
I think, really, just maybe, quite possibly, that the collective intelligence of women across the world has just been insulted.
Are we so lacking in grey matter that we are unable to determine a work of fiction from a work of non fiction? (I mean, whose bosoms heave? Ever met a man named Nigel Greystoke who lived in a manor home called Broadriver? Ever met a woman named Penelope Smithingale? ever danced a waltz? been abducted by an Indian? been attacked by pirates? foiled a plot against the crown? Been struck on the head and awoken in a foreign country? Been sold to a harem? Stolen from a convent? just running through some popular themes here)
Evidently, we ARE lacking in said grey matter; so much so that we are unable to think for ourselves. Since we can't think for ourselves, we shouldn't be allowed to have access to anything that might cause us enjoyment, or might be about (shhhhh) S...E....X.
Hey, I like these books. They are...mental popporn. Good for passing the time. Good for a giggle. Sometimes even good for reminiscing (remember when you thought oral sex was kinda shocking?) . They certainly never gave me irrational ideas about what relationships should be like. I recognize them for what they are – housewife porn. I don’t think men look at Maxim for serious marital advice (at least, I hope not).
What makes me uneasy is that someone else would even say the words out loud "I don't think these books should be published".
Darling, you simply must tell me where you got that that lavender burqa!!
Ok, so I'm behind the times. (late correction! Waaayyyy late!)
Watched "The Essex Boys" (sorry, too lazy to link to IMDB's page for it) last night on BBCAmerica. What a fabulous movie! Y'all know I have the attention span of a gnat, but I watched the whole freaking thing! And it was great! I still love Sean Bean, and have since I first saw the Sharpe series.
Anyway, back to work.
Watched "The Essex Boys" (sorry, too lazy to link to IMDB's page for it) last night on BBCAmerica. What a fabulous movie! Y'all know I have the attention span of a gnat, but I watched the whole freaking thing! And it was great! I still love Sean Bean, and have since I first saw the Sharpe series.
Anyway, back to work.
20070708
To My Dear Angel,
I was thinking further upon our phone conversation today, and I think it is enough that you are aware of Mr. Brazil’s background and inclinations. This knowledge alone should make you very wary. You should know that he would never be relationship material until he addresses those issues. How old is he, with no real relationship, no marriage, no children to his name (yet)? At some point, I think, one has to have the sense that one has to get one’s life in order in order to move forward. You know, address the baggage in order to have a sense of progression?
And maybe he does need that…grounding we spoke of, and perhaps he knows it and is uncomfortable with having a female in that kind of permanent role in his life. I think he needs to come to terms with it, or he’s going to flounder around forever.
The ex has a friend like that – another fellow who is pushing forty, never married, never a serious girlfriend and no inclination to settle down, have kids, and whatnot. He’s pretty well off, but a real ass munch. Women love him. Go figure. I always completely hated his slimy guts. What does he have? Sure, he has a good job, and a nice car, and a big house. But he’s alone. Women look at someone who has hit forty (with no serious relationship on the radar) and the creep meter tends to go off. Maybe he just wants to roll in tail until he is too old to get it naturally, and has to pay for it. Isn’t that a lonely life? He’s not close to his family either….
Did I mention that I always hated him, and found him predatory and slimy and that he was losing his hair and had a weak chin and that I hated him?
Just checking :-)
At some point, Mr. Brazil is going to figure that out. He can’t fix his familial issues – that is a pattern established long before he was born. The only thing he can do is address himself. The best thing you can do, my dear, is steer clear until he figures things out.
Love ya, and don’t fret about it!
I was thinking further upon our phone conversation today, and I think it is enough that you are aware of Mr. Brazil’s background and inclinations. This knowledge alone should make you very wary. You should know that he would never be relationship material until he addresses those issues. How old is he, with no real relationship, no marriage, no children to his name (yet)? At some point, I think, one has to have the sense that one has to get one’s life in order in order to move forward. You know, address the baggage in order to have a sense of progression?
And maybe he does need that…grounding we spoke of, and perhaps he knows it and is uncomfortable with having a female in that kind of permanent role in his life. I think he needs to come to terms with it, or he’s going to flounder around forever.
The ex has a friend like that – another fellow who is pushing forty, never married, never a serious girlfriend and no inclination to settle down, have kids, and whatnot. He’s pretty well off, but a real ass munch. Women love him. Go figure. I always completely hated his slimy guts. What does he have? Sure, he has a good job, and a nice car, and a big house. But he’s alone. Women look at someone who has hit forty (with no serious relationship on the radar) and the creep meter tends to go off. Maybe he just wants to roll in tail until he is too old to get it naturally, and has to pay for it. Isn’t that a lonely life? He’s not close to his family either….
Did I mention that I always hated him, and found him predatory and slimy and that he was losing his hair and had a weak chin and that I hated him?
Just checking :-)
At some point, Mr. Brazil is going to figure that out. He can’t fix his familial issues – that is a pattern established long before he was born. The only thing he can do is address himself. The best thing you can do, my dear, is steer clear until he figures things out.
Love ya, and don’t fret about it!
20070707
I had one of those weird, flash like revelations while driving to the Publix this morning.
Sometimes the things you say out loud, other people fixate on as the way to solve a problem.
That doesn’t sound quite as profound as it did an hour ago.
I was thinking of my relationship history, and in the three that I left myself, when I expressed some sort of dissatisfaction, each of those three people offered me something they knew I wanted desperately. Do people really attempt to buy each other’s affections that way? If you are dating a girl, and you know she’s ready to get married (presumably to you), and you also know that she’s going to leave because she’s unhappy with something….do you ask her to marry you to make her stay (even if you aren’t ready?)? If you know someone, say, really wants to move to another state, or go back to school or raise goats (even if you really don’t want to) do you capitulate and give it to the other person? Is that sacrifice or stupidity?
With Miss T, we hadn’t been sleeping together for a year. Well, sleeping? Yes, sex…no. If it was…it was generally one sided as in yours truly providing and someone else going to sleep with no reciprocity. She knew I was incredibly unhappy with the state of things. What did she give me that Christmas? Something I had wanted ever since I was a little girl – a pearl necklace like my grandmom’s. I ended things anyway shortly thereafter (and returned the necklace). Ironically, the ex husband did the exact same thing the last Christmas we were together. I also made him return that necklace, and then went the following year and bought one for myself. No more bad pearl necklace karma.
And don’t make ONE freaking joke about a pearl necklace or I will reach through this monitor and smack you!!!
I’ve noticed with some of my friends (and our perpetual state of dissipating relationships) that they are more into the whole….I don’t know “surrendering” thing. Like…”If you’ll only stay with me I’ll (insert whatever here: stop drinking, stop smoking, lose weight, get a job, stop robbing banks, go to church, brush my teeth, stop picking my nose, stop going out with my girlfriends all the time, stop seeing my ex, etc.)” You get the picture. Isn’t that another form of…well, bribe? If you let me stay I’ll change for you???? Shouldn’t you want to change for you? (maybe I shouldn’t have used the nose picking thing as an example because now that is rather grossly stuck in my head…ewwww!)
I think if someone said to me in the course of a relationship that at some point some behavior/mannerism of mine was going to cause a problem, if I wanted the relationship to continue, I might want to look into that myself.
Sometimes the things you say out loud, other people fixate on as the way to solve a problem.
That doesn’t sound quite as profound as it did an hour ago.
I was thinking of my relationship history, and in the three that I left myself, when I expressed some sort of dissatisfaction, each of those three people offered me something they knew I wanted desperately. Do people really attempt to buy each other’s affections that way? If you are dating a girl, and you know she’s ready to get married (presumably to you), and you also know that she’s going to leave because she’s unhappy with something….do you ask her to marry you to make her stay (even if you aren’t ready?)? If you know someone, say, really wants to move to another state, or go back to school or raise goats (even if you really don’t want to) do you capitulate and give it to the other person? Is that sacrifice or stupidity?
With Miss T, we hadn’t been sleeping together for a year. Well, sleeping? Yes, sex…no. If it was…it was generally one sided as in yours truly providing and someone else going to sleep with no reciprocity. She knew I was incredibly unhappy with the state of things. What did she give me that Christmas? Something I had wanted ever since I was a little girl – a pearl necklace like my grandmom’s. I ended things anyway shortly thereafter (and returned the necklace). Ironically, the ex husband did the exact same thing the last Christmas we were together. I also made him return that necklace, and then went the following year and bought one for myself. No more bad pearl necklace karma.
And don’t make ONE freaking joke about a pearl necklace or I will reach through this monitor and smack you!!!
I’ve noticed with some of my friends (and our perpetual state of dissipating relationships) that they are more into the whole….I don’t know “surrendering” thing. Like…”If you’ll only stay with me I’ll (insert whatever here: stop drinking, stop smoking, lose weight, get a job, stop robbing banks, go to church, brush my teeth, stop picking my nose, stop going out with my girlfriends all the time, stop seeing my ex, etc.)” You get the picture. Isn’t that another form of…well, bribe? If you let me stay I’ll change for you???? Shouldn’t you want to change for you? (maybe I shouldn’t have used the nose picking thing as an example because now that is rather grossly stuck in my head…ewwww!)
I think if someone said to me in the course of a relationship that at some point some behavior/mannerism of mine was going to cause a problem, if I wanted the relationship to continue, I might want to look into that myself.
20070706
Maps. Handy things, aren’t they? A useful means of getting from point A to point B, in whatever fashion suits you best. Maybe you prefer the most direct approach, or maybe you prefer the scenic route (you meandering thing you).
We’ve talked about this before, you and I…but wouldn’t it be handy if there was a map for life? You’d be able to see your destination, obviously, and you could pick whatever path suited you best.
Well, perhaps we do. Our destination is ultimately death, and how fast or how slow we get there is largely a matter of our own determination.
But that isn’t what I’m referring to. I mean the other things that make a life worth living. Seriously…does getting up and going to work every day really do it for you? Does being surrounded by…things do it for you? Having nice clothes, or traveling, or a fancy car, or eating out? Does that really (and be honest here) truly, deep down satisfy you at all? Does sitting in yet another tedious meeting or on a conference call resonate within your soul? Does driving your Beamer put you into a Zen state?
So why do we bother?
I’ve been thinking a great deal about simplification lately. I’ve let my own life become way too complicated; I’ve become a wage slave by allowing myself to become a slave to my house. Had I any sense, I’d have sold this freaking thing and taken a loss when I’d gotten divorced. However, we’ve already established I have no sense. Simplification for me will be selling this house, and moving somewhere that is closer to my parents and sister. Simplification will be living in a place where the cost of living is less, where population density isn’t so…well, dense. Where traffic isn’t so horrid. Where daily life is not a competition. A tiny little bungalow with a tidy yard, or a small farmhouse on some land in the middle of nowhere – now that is my idea of a perfect place. Somewhere that I could have a real vegetable garden. Somewhere that I can be myself and not have anyone around to make fun of me or what I wear…and if I want to have purple or blue hair, damnit, I will!
As much as I love this city, I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s time to go. One of the two reasons that I moved back here from Raleigh (never move there, ever) was to spend more time with my grandparents before they died. I’ve now only one grandparent left. The other was that there were no jobs in Raleigh at the time. Times have changed. And truly, if I ever dump this albatross it would be possible to take a more satisfying job that pays less because I would need less.
Doesn’t that sound good? To need less? I think it does.
But there’s not a map to get from A to Z. I’m 33. I’m divorced, I have no kids. I don’t think marriage is for me. It bugs the hell out of me that I don’t know where I’m going, but fuck it, I’ve got to learn to let go of some things and just go with the flow.
The dogs are right. They eat, they sleep, they play. They don't give a fiddler's fuck about any of the shit we silly humans worry about.
Simplification, right? Maybe I should take a page out of my dogs book...
We’ve talked about this before, you and I…but wouldn’t it be handy if there was a map for life? You’d be able to see your destination, obviously, and you could pick whatever path suited you best.
Well, perhaps we do. Our destination is ultimately death, and how fast or how slow we get there is largely a matter of our own determination.
But that isn’t what I’m referring to. I mean the other things that make a life worth living. Seriously…does getting up and going to work every day really do it for you? Does being surrounded by…things do it for you? Having nice clothes, or traveling, or a fancy car, or eating out? Does that really (and be honest here) truly, deep down satisfy you at all? Does sitting in yet another tedious meeting or on a conference call resonate within your soul? Does driving your Beamer put you into a Zen state?
So why do we bother?
I’ve been thinking a great deal about simplification lately. I’ve let my own life become way too complicated; I’ve become a wage slave by allowing myself to become a slave to my house. Had I any sense, I’d have sold this freaking thing and taken a loss when I’d gotten divorced. However, we’ve already established I have no sense. Simplification for me will be selling this house, and moving somewhere that is closer to my parents and sister. Simplification will be living in a place where the cost of living is less, where population density isn’t so…well, dense. Where traffic isn’t so horrid. Where daily life is not a competition. A tiny little bungalow with a tidy yard, or a small farmhouse on some land in the middle of nowhere – now that is my idea of a perfect place. Somewhere that I could have a real vegetable garden. Somewhere that I can be myself and not have anyone around to make fun of me or what I wear…and if I want to have purple or blue hair, damnit, I will!
As much as I love this city, I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s time to go. One of the two reasons that I moved back here from Raleigh (never move there, ever) was to spend more time with my grandparents before they died. I’ve now only one grandparent left. The other was that there were no jobs in Raleigh at the time. Times have changed. And truly, if I ever dump this albatross it would be possible to take a more satisfying job that pays less because I would need less.
Doesn’t that sound good? To need less? I think it does.
But there’s not a map to get from A to Z. I’m 33. I’m divorced, I have no kids. I don’t think marriage is for me. It bugs the hell out of me that I don’t know where I’m going, but fuck it, I’ve got to learn to let go of some things and just go with the flow.
The dogs are right. They eat, they sleep, they play. They don't give a fiddler's fuck about any of the shit we silly humans worry about.
Simplification, right? Maybe I should take a page out of my dogs book...
I did think of one more teeny tiny little thing that I find really annoying...and this applies to folk of either gender.
If you know I really like something...say a movie, or a book, or a song, or an artist or whatever, don't proceed to mock it.
If you come into the room and say "what are you watching" and I reply "oh, old so and so, one of my favorite movies" and you sit down and after five minutes start ridiculing it, I will get pissed off. I will probably turn the movie off and go do something else. Something far far away from the person that is pissing me off. I do not do this to other people. I think it is rude...so why do people do this to me?
This is why the ex husband and I never went to movies or even watched television together. I could never make him understand that just because our tastes were different didn't mean that mine were wrong. Go figure.
If you know I really like something...say a movie, or a book, or a song, or an artist or whatever, don't proceed to mock it.
If you come into the room and say "what are you watching" and I reply "oh, old so and so, one of my favorite movies" and you sit down and after five minutes start ridiculing it, I will get pissed off. I will probably turn the movie off and go do something else. Something far far away from the person that is pissing me off. I do not do this to other people. I think it is rude...so why do people do this to me?
This is why the ex husband and I never went to movies or even watched television together. I could never make him understand that just because our tastes were different didn't mean that mine were wrong. Go figure.
20070705
Courtesy of the Farmer's Almanac!
Scatter Solomon's seal on the floor to banish serpents and venomous creatures from the room.
To protect your house from lightning, gather hazel tree branches on Palm Sunday and keep them in water.
Add caraway seeds to chicken feed to keep poultry from wandering. Feed the seeds to homing pigeons to help them find their way back.
Stuff fennel in your keyhole or hang it over your door to protect against witches.
Never carry a hoe into the house. If you do so by mistake, carry it out again, walking backward to avoid bad luck.
Never walk under a ladder, which is Satan's territory. If you must do it, cross your fingers or make the sign of the fig (closed fist, with thumb between index and middle fingers).
If you give a steel blade to a friend, make the recipient pay you a penny to avoid cutting the friendship.
Never give a knife as a housewarming present, or your new neighbor will become an enemy.
Never pound a nail after sundown, or you will wake the tree gods.
Nail an evergreen branch to new rafters to bring good luck. An empty hornets' nest, hung high, also will bring good luck to any age house.
When you move to a new house, always enter first with a loaf of bread and a new broom. Never bring an old broom into the house.
For More Interesting Tidbits, Go Here!!
To protect your house from lightning, gather hazel tree branches on Palm Sunday and keep them in water.
Add caraway seeds to chicken feed to keep poultry from wandering. Feed the seeds to homing pigeons to help them find their way back.
Stuff fennel in your keyhole or hang it over your door to protect against witches.
Never carry a hoe into the house. If you do so by mistake, carry it out again, walking backward to avoid bad luck.
Never walk under a ladder, which is Satan's territory. If you must do it, cross your fingers or make the sign of the fig (closed fist, with thumb between index and middle fingers).
If you give a steel blade to a friend, make the recipient pay you a penny to avoid cutting the friendship.
Never give a knife as a housewarming present, or your new neighbor will become an enemy.
Never pound a nail after sundown, or you will wake the tree gods.
Nail an evergreen branch to new rafters to bring good luck. An empty hornets' nest, hung high, also will bring good luck to any age house.
When you move to a new house, always enter first with a loaf of bread and a new broom. Never bring an old broom into the house.
For More Interesting Tidbits, Go Here!!
Qualities
People often ask me what drove me nuts about my ex husband...really, they do...well, it's mostly women and one or two random guys involved in some kind of emotional crisis. Anyway, enough digressing.
The little things really don't bother me. People get upset about a lot of little things without stopping to think that their constant irritation is a symptom of a larger problem. I do not care which way the toilet paper goes on the holder, as long as it is on. I don't care how you load the dishwasher, or fold the laundry, as long as it gets done. I don't care how you mow the grass, as long as it is mown. Get the picture?
But true laziness....now, that's my major irritant. Please don't stand in the middle of the kitchen, nary a clean dish in sight, and honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you don't see that the kitchen is dirty. Honey? If there ain't a clean glass in the cupboard, the kitchen is freaking dirty. If your toilet could pass as a scientific experiment in mold cultivation, don't you dare look at me and tell me you see nothing wrong with it! I will think you are both a blind and lying lazy bastard. If all your clothes are on the floor and dirty, don't run to the mall and buy something new...try doing a novel thing called laundry. Really, you should try it some time. Give the laundry fairies of the world a break!
I don't expect everyone to live up to my standards. Shit, I don't even live up to my own standards most of the time. However, there are certain things I'm going to keep running smoothly all the time. I will have a clean kitchen. The laundry will not pile up. The bathroom will be clean at all times. I'm iffy on dusting (it sucks) and the only reason I vaccuum twice a week is because the dog hair looks like a small goat if I don't.
Here's the secret....
Don't sit on your ass and watch me while I clean.
Don't arm chair quarterback my cleaning (honey, you missed a spot on the tv...fuck you!).
Don't expect me to be the one cleaning when your parents are coming to town and you decide to go out with your coworkers for a beer at the last minute. I will regard that as major responsibility shirking, and you will be coming home to a dirty house.
I'm just rambling this morning...really.
He also used to do this thing that was really rather funny. Since he'd stay up all night on the computer, playing games and chatting and whatever else it is that men do on the computer all night, he would have the hardest time getting up in the morning. So much so that it got him in trouble at jobs (you know, rolling in to work around noon or one generally does that to you when start time is...ten). So I'd start waking him up. I'd set both alarms. I'd wake him up when I got up, when I showered, when I left. I'd move the alarm to another room and turn the volume up as loud as possible onto that klaxon setting. I'd call to see if he was awake and keep calling until he answered the phone. After all, it was in my best interests to see that he remained employed, right? Hah! Well, I'm no one's alarm clock, and no one's mama. It's not my job to get someone up and out of bed and fed and out the door. Theoretically, if one is an adult, one can do that oneself. I'm an adult...I do all those things myself...why couldn't he?
The little things really don't bother me. People get upset about a lot of little things without stopping to think that their constant irritation is a symptom of a larger problem. I do not care which way the toilet paper goes on the holder, as long as it is on. I don't care how you load the dishwasher, or fold the laundry, as long as it gets done. I don't care how you mow the grass, as long as it is mown. Get the picture?
But true laziness....now, that's my major irritant. Please don't stand in the middle of the kitchen, nary a clean dish in sight, and honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you don't see that the kitchen is dirty. Honey? If there ain't a clean glass in the cupboard, the kitchen is freaking dirty. If your toilet could pass as a scientific experiment in mold cultivation, don't you dare look at me and tell me you see nothing wrong with it! I will think you are both a blind and lying lazy bastard. If all your clothes are on the floor and dirty, don't run to the mall and buy something new...try doing a novel thing called laundry. Really, you should try it some time. Give the laundry fairies of the world a break!
I don't expect everyone to live up to my standards. Shit, I don't even live up to my own standards most of the time. However, there are certain things I'm going to keep running smoothly all the time. I will have a clean kitchen. The laundry will not pile up. The bathroom will be clean at all times. I'm iffy on dusting (it sucks) and the only reason I vaccuum twice a week is because the dog hair looks like a small goat if I don't.
Here's the secret....
Don't sit on your ass and watch me while I clean.
Don't arm chair quarterback my cleaning (honey, you missed a spot on the tv...fuck you!).
Don't expect me to be the one cleaning when your parents are coming to town and you decide to go out with your coworkers for a beer at the last minute. I will regard that as major responsibility shirking, and you will be coming home to a dirty house.
I'm just rambling this morning...really.
He also used to do this thing that was really rather funny. Since he'd stay up all night on the computer, playing games and chatting and whatever else it is that men do on the computer all night, he would have the hardest time getting up in the morning. So much so that it got him in trouble at jobs (you know, rolling in to work around noon or one generally does that to you when start time is...ten). So I'd start waking him up. I'd set both alarms. I'd wake him up when I got up, when I showered, when I left. I'd move the alarm to another room and turn the volume up as loud as possible onto that klaxon setting. I'd call to see if he was awake and keep calling until he answered the phone. After all, it was in my best interests to see that he remained employed, right? Hah! Well, I'm no one's alarm clock, and no one's mama. It's not my job to get someone up and out of bed and fed and out the door. Theoretically, if one is an adult, one can do that oneself. I'm an adult...I do all those things myself...why couldn't he?
20070704
Here is what I am thankful for:
I am thankful for all the generations of women who preceeded me, whose sacrifice and struggle and agitation made it possible for me to be an independent, successful single woman today.
I am thankful for the men and women who fought against tyrrany and oppression and created our country.
I am thankful that we all have a protected right to have an opinion, and to express it, without fear of reprisal or death or oppression.
I am thankful that we all have the freedom to believe in whatever religion we wish, with no risk of legal persecution.
I am thankful that I can walk around my neighborhood by myself unmolested.
And lastly I am thankful for all the unconditional love and support my family has offered me throughout the years. Y'all know I wouldn't be the nutbag I am today without you.....
I am thankful for all the generations of women who preceeded me, whose sacrifice and struggle and agitation made it possible for me to be an independent, successful single woman today.
I am thankful for the men and women who fought against tyrrany and oppression and created our country.
I am thankful that we all have a protected right to have an opinion, and to express it, without fear of reprisal or death or oppression.
I am thankful that we all have the freedom to believe in whatever religion we wish, with no risk of legal persecution.
I am thankful that I can walk around my neighborhood by myself unmolested.
And lastly I am thankful for all the unconditional love and support my family has offered me throughout the years. Y'all know I wouldn't be the nutbag I am today without you.....
20070703
20070702
20070701
With Friends like These
Who needs Enemies.
Right.
I think it very rude to repay someone's kindness and courtesy towards you as a newcomer to town by poaching all their friends, their local haunts, their local eateries, and then have the gall to seem surprised when it turns on you.
Shame on you!
Right.
I think it very rude to repay someone's kindness and courtesy towards you as a newcomer to town by poaching all their friends, their local haunts, their local eateries, and then have the gall to seem surprised when it turns on you.
Shame on you!
Tropical fish have beautiful, vibrant colors.
I have a peculiar, throbbing headache just above my left eyeball. I am fairly certain it has to do with the consumption of too much alcohol, and the late-ish hour, and the guaranteed (a word I can never spell) resultant gain of a pound or two tomorrow.
When did I turn into Bridget Jones?
I have a peculiar, throbbing headache just above my left eyeball. I am fairly certain it has to do with the consumption of too much alcohol, and the late-ish hour, and the guaranteed (a word I can never spell) resultant gain of a pound or two tomorrow.
When did I turn into Bridget Jones?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
