I can't believe I forgot to mention this.

I never even look at my Amex bill. I just assume that it sucks, and I just pay on it and hope that one day I win the lottery.

I happened to look at it on Sunday, because I went to use my Amex for a small purchase at the Depot and it was declined. Hmmm, I said, so I logged on and looked at my statement.

Well, evidently, I was in Marbella at the exact same time I was in Home Depot.

Right, in Spain. Two places at once.

So I ring Home Depot, validate that I'm who I say I am (you know, nine million questions, forms of identity, etc etc), and get a real person and out of IVR. The real person says "Oh, I will back that charge off, cancel this card, send you a new one, and start the dispute process". To which I add, "could you please flag this as potential fraud and monitor any incoming transactions?" and the kindly lady assures me that she will.

Tuesday, I log in again.

Not only am I in two countries at once, I am having a damn good time. I am traveling ALL OVER Spain, to every freaking high end resort town and having several nights on the town. My doppelganger has spent somewhere around $1500. Not only has the card not been inactivated, it hasn't been flagged for fraud activity either! Back on the phone to Amex. First, I'm told that the fraud line is backed up, and politely asked if I will phone back in an hour. Politely. WTF? Phone back I do, several times. Three times I am disconnected, and the fourth time I make whatever phone widgetansweringperson stay on the phone with me until I connect to a nice lady named Shanna, who stayed on the phone with me for half an hour until we validated that everything was taken care of.

Putting two and two together, either my purchase two months ago at the Mexi place near work OR my $3.27 bacon, egg and cheese sandwich in our shitty cafeteria downstairs on June 27 popped me into a credit card fraud ring (we were sent an email at work...I admit...I didn't read it...our site communicator sends so many of them that I see an email with his name on it and automatically delete it).

Ah, the drama!