Ah, the conclusion to the week from hell.

It’s safe to say that your path in life is entirely made up of your own choices. You drive your own destiny. Yeah, you can make an argument than your environment limits your opportunity, and I buy that (someone living in a mud hut with no electricity is not likely to grow up to be a computer engineer). By and large, somehow in that strange combination of nature and nurture we learn enough to be able to successfully maneuver through this artificial world of ours. How well you do it, and how well your own actions sit with you, is up to you.

Pithy but true: one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. We can’t all be rich. We can’t all be beautiful. The things you throw out today, someone tomorrow will find and see an item that with a little attention can be made beautiful again. You only think people have expectations of you; in reality, you disappoint only yourself . You project your own disappointments and senses of failure onto other people because it is easier than fixing the blame where it belongs – on you.

And your emotional life is going to follow some basic principals – to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Knowing this, why put yourself in situations that you know will have a negative or harmful outcome?

I fall into this trap much too often myself.

I realized this week that I am so wrapped up in hatred of this house; Lil Sis (who is down this week) said “wow, this house looks so good, and so much better than it did. You’ve done a good job!” and rather than say thank you, I snorted and proceeded to tell her how much I hated it. What is wrong with me? I had to think about it, really, and it came to me that the reason I hate this house so much is because it represents one of my five big life mistakes, and it’s the last one I have to get rid of before I can totally move on and be free of my past.

Big Five: getting married to my ex, buying this house, paying for the divorce, giving him all the furnishings and buying completely new everythings, and giving the Rebel my old car.

Realizing this was actually…uplifting. I suddenly had a desire to actually DO things…like paint, rearrange, and fix! Amazing!

The only one who can save you, btw, is you. Anything else is a band aid.