Pardon My French

But my cousin's ex boyfriend is a lilly livered, stupid, barbaric, moronic, fucking asshole! I hate to wish anyone ill, but seriously, that was the nastiest, meanest type of trick to ever play on anyone. I think all the girls in the family will collectively have an urge to do him some serious bodily harm.

So, cousin dearest, do not spend another microsecond wasting your thoughts on that waste of molecular space. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, and don't let your own self introspection turn this into something negative that you use to hurt yourself with. He is not worth the dirt on your shoe. Actually, he probably measures somewhere between pond scum and the funk that grows on the inside of a sewer pipe in the city central. Seriously, I wouldn't even let him take out my trash!

And if that fother mucker calls you again, hang up the damn phone! Better yet, get a new number!