Ties

That's an interesting discussion.

Why do we hold onto things or relationships or friendships that we know are bad for us, or that we know have outlived their usefulness or their purpose in our lives? Do we do so out of sentimentality? Do we do so out of fear? Are we just plain lazy?

There comes a point, I think, where you have to let go of so much of your own backstory and baggage. It takes some people longer than others - it takes women forever! We tend to let people or circumstance walk all over us before we finally say enough!

I mean, how long do you tolerate someone who is ostensibly a friend being rude or negative to you everytime you see this person? Why do you still speak to them?

How long do you associate with someone who reminds you of the bad times in your life? Folks handle this differently: some people have that link as a reminder of their past life, and other folks sever all ties and walk off to recreate their story somewhere else. Is one braver than the other? Is one approach better than the other? Or is there a blend somehow that works best?

Or say you have a friend that is an out an out alcoholic (we all know someone that meets this criteria). You've seen them fall into the gutter, perhaps literally, and been around to lend a hand repeatedly, from simply driving them home to paying their tab to taking care of them when they've given themselves alcohol poisoning. Why do we do it? Do we have an inherent desire for martyrdom? Does it make us feel better about ourselves?

Maybe you have an abusive relative or spouse. Why do you hang out? Do you tell yourself that there are different rules for family? Like...would you ever slap your mother? Would you? I bet the answer is almost a universal no. Do you continue to stay in that negative relationship because it IS your family, and you feel beholden to them even though it's at the risk of your own health and sanity?

I am simply saying: do what is right for you. If a plant has a dead branch, you cut if off for the general health of the plant. Do the same with the relationships in your life. You'll feel much better!