Why I don't care about the Olympics

I'm here to make an announcement.

No, I'm not running for President.

No, I'm not pregnant, or getting married, or quitting my job.

Nor did I win the lottery.

I'm here to say: I hate the Olympics.

Why?

I'll respond by asking a question. Why do you watch? It's not like this is a real athletic competition that Sue from Podunk can win by practicing running long distances out in the country after she finishes her homework; no, people who participate in the Olympics are the products of the sports entertainment industry. Their job is to find talent, to find children, youth, and young adults with talent, speed and agility and introduce them to other people, coaches, trainers, backers who can introduce them to the wide world of international competition. It's not an honest, friendly rivalry between nations to see who produces the better athlete - all the athletes, regardless of country, look like they were raised in a field somewhere (let's see....I think the Chinese will do well if I plant them next to the Americans, while the Brazilians will do best if they aren't paired with the Italians).

Whatever happened to honest sportsmanship? Real competition? I just can't get excited about watching sports on a box.

Get rid of the fireworks, the teleprompter, the sponsorships, and all the artsy fartsy shit. It's nice that China went and built a big bunch of nice buildings for the Olympics. So...what did they do with all the people who lived in the shacks and tenements they tore down? What did they do with all that immigrant labor they allowed into the country to build the new stadia? And don't you want to go to a country where every third sign says "No Foreigners Allowed"? Nice place you got here!

And in a lot of ways, the constant media hype feels like a deliberate misdirect; the economy sucks, the dollar is in the crapper, our international reputation stinks, we're overrun with illegal immigrants who are putting a strain on our already burdened economy, we've got the government releasing (quietly) folks out of Gitmo saying they possibly made "mistakes", we've got what looks like (from my arm chair) a rise in crime of all sorts, unemployment is up, the fools at the Federal Reserve Bank have pulled their thumbs out of their tails long enough to discover that really, indeed, they are covered in crap, we're in a war we will never, ever win with people who will just despise us in twenty years if they don't already. Healthcare stinks, and is unaffordable (case in point: a month's supply of my migraine preventative without insurance is $400. There is no generic. Go suck an egg. If I lost my job, I would just...suffer!). Gas is so expensive that folks want to go for ethanol, perhaps not realizing that the costs of anything that uses corn has now had a corresponding increase.

So yes, by all means:

Turn on your television and watch that Communist backed, fake drivel while your nation completely shits itself into becoming a third world country.