20071213

Things I Want to Know

Why are all ironing boards made for midgets? My ironing board doesn't get any higher than the top of my thighs, and I am constantly bending over to iron. Why is this?

Why was Madonna inducted in to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Madonna is not rock and roll; Madonna is pop. Why isn't there a Pop Hall Of Fame? There's a Walk of Fame, right? Why not a Walk of Shame?

Where does the monster that lived under your bed/closet as a child go when you reach adulthood?

And of course you have your standards: why do you call it a driveway when you park? Why is the interstate referred to as the freeway? It ain't free cost wise, and it certainly isn't free of traffic.

Why do we say "no taxation without representation"? I understand the original meaning of the quote (England)...but...I'm pretty sure no one in D.C. actually represents me. I might have the same hair/eye color as someone up there, but I'm certain that is as "representative" as it gets.

Why were people shocked when George Michael came out of the closet? Or Jodie Foster? C'mon people, wake up!

Why is being caught with any cocaine, regardless of portion, a felony? Under this thinking, a bag of resin left in your car could get you charged with a felony.

Oh yeah, it's not an ice box. A box implies that it is a square. Properly, it should be an ice rectangle.

A stove and an oven are two separate things, the last time I looked.

Do people run down a runway? Planes certainly don't. They taxi or take off or land.

I quite like the euphamism "greenway". This means a plot of grass paid for by the taxpayers. I quite like plots of grass as well; especially when filled with wild flowers.

Why can't you buy beer on a Sunday again? Wait, because certain denominations say that getting wasted on a Sunday is a sin? Uh, hello? Is anyone listening? Your God isn't my God, and so on. Besides...does it actually say in the Bible that you shouldn't drink on a Sunday? I'm pretty sure it doesn't; everyone drank in Biblical times. Drinking water would give you...well, something nasty and intestinally corrosive. The Torah might say "don't drink on Saturday" (their Sabbath)...but you don't see a bunch of dudes in yarmulkas running around telling you that you can't have a beer on a Saturday. Do I sound like a broken record yet?

Why do we pay professional athletes gazillions, and nurses and teachers and those of us who actually do something meaningful by investing in our community and our fellow people?

And you do know that part of the problem with healthcare is that you aren't just paying your doctor, you are also paying for all those twits who deny you when you call to have something authorized?

Algy met a Bear

The Bear was Bulgy

The Bulge was Algy!

More silliness will be brought to you later from the folks at the Ministry for Silly Walks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It went frokm under the bed to the Whitehouse.