Dogsicle

One night, as teenage Eliza was sitting in her basement bedroom with the door locked and her headphones on, reading a book in her rocking chair, she heard a knock at her door.

“Oh, who could be a knocking, a knocking at my bedroom door?” mused Eliza to herself, as she turned down Beethoven and put her book atop the turntable.

Lo! It was Eliza’s mother Susie inquiring if she might have a Coke from Eliza’s hidden stash (under her twin bed).

“Oh Mother!” exclaimed Eliza “Of COURSE you may have a Coke! But you look upset! Might I politely inquire as to what is the cause of your distress?”

“Oh Eliza” Susie sighed, “the cause of my distress is distressing indeed!”

“Praytell, Mother, and unburden yourself of this anguish!”

“I was out walking, and Scotia was with me, and she has been hit by a car! Your father retrieved her, but I fear she is no longer with the physical world!”

“How simply horrid! Whatever shall we do with poor Scopie?”

Susie sighed again “I think it is too late to awaken your poor sleeping sisters and burden them with such horrid news. They should enjoy a solid night’s sleep, and rise with the dawn and go to school, and we will discuss what to do with Scopie’s remains tomorrow night at dinner”.

Eliza looked at her mother quizzically “But Mother, where is Scopie now? Surely we aren’t going to leave her outside in the cold and alone until tomorrow evening??”

“No, dear, not to worry. Scopie is in the freezer”.

And indeed, upon close inspection, Scopie was in the freezer, wrapped in a plastic trash bag, sandwiched in between the fish that Eliza’s father was saving for the Smithsonian.

“Oh Mother! This is a tragedy beyond compare! Surely my darling sisters will be heartbroken. But…..”

“Yes Eliza? But what?”

“Does this mean we are having korean style barbeque for dinner tomorrow night?”