The Great Pretender

Is what I feel like today, honestly. Like I'm projecting an image onto my face that says "hey, I'm alright, I'm competent, I'm happy" when in reality my insides feel like a muddled grey pit.

I think this all started last night when I became accountably maudlin and filled with regret for past mistakes. I really should learn not to dwell in the past, eh? But this led to dreams, a trifecta in fact, of death and dying and all sorts of unrestrained violence. I startled myself into wakefullness on several occaisions before finally giving in and getting up. Sometimes the brain will not be silent.

And sometimes it's not the brain. Sometimes it's the emotional well that's running dry and needs a top up. That's where I am.