Two weeks ago, a local home was raided in the middle of the night. Cops knocked on the front door of the residence, while "special" cops knocked down the basement door, guns drawn, and ordered the occupants of the room to the floor. The premises was thoroughly searched. Roughly twenty people were arrested and charged with a variety of crimes. Cars were towed from neighboring streets that presumably belonged to the arrestees. Neighbors were questioned. Police reports were prepared and submitted. News articles trumped the news as the top story for at least...two days.
The crime? Hosting a poker tournament in a basement.
You see, gambling is illegal in Georgia. Another holdover tied to our religious blue laws (can't buy alcohol in a store on a Sunday, and the ban against sodomy are two of the more ridiculous examples) rises up to be used at will against otherwise honest citizens.
The official reports and news reports are a bit misleading. The police state that the tournament required a $10,000 buy in and had attracted people from as far away as Pittsburgh. The homeowners claim, through their attorney, that there was no $10K buy in and that the people were all known to them, and had been in attendance at previous non poker parties thrown by the couple. Let's do a bit of math, shall we? The reports stated that there were two dealers, and three bar girls. So, subtract five from twenty....that leaves fifteen. Let's exclude the wife (based on details from the police report, she didn't sound like a player); that leaves fourteen, yes? If you had a 10K buy in, and fourteen players...hm...shouldn't there be something like...$140,000 in cash rolling around?
Uh, the cops only seized about $40K. Methinks our fine boys in blue doth protest too much.
Other miscellaneous charges were: possession, expired tages, possession with intent to distribute (I've always found the distinction between personal consumption and intent to be a very weird line. Can someone explain it to me? Are two joints for personal consumption, while an ounce of grass is for distribution?), operating a business without a license....and so on and so on. Whatever silly charge could be levelled against the homeowners was tacked on.
First, no one in their right mind would conduct a private tournament with that much cash in their home, nor would they advertise on the internet. That would be the equivalent of walking into any slum in any city in the world (Atlanta, Dublin, New Orleans, New York, London, Paris, Madrid, Shanghai, Sydney - take your pick) and shouting at the top of your lungs "I'm a rich, stupid American, come rob me!!" If you were going to have the that kind of bank rolling in your residence, wouldn't you hire some muscle to make sure you weren't robbed? That kinda cash, word gets around.
Secondly, evidently, this tournament had been going on for some time. Now in a normal neighborhood, when we see a lot of recurring car traffic, you'd think: they must have teenage kids, they must be illegal immigrants, and lastly they must be drug dealers. Of course, those only hold true if the cars in question are....Nissan Sentras, any model of old pickup truck, or any vehicle with specialized rims or neon running lights. If I saw a Bentley, three BMW's, a Jag, a Hummer or two....I'd be wondering if tonight was the night I was going to find a sugar daddy!
All kidding aside, the reason that this illegal tournament warranted such a strong police and political reaction is pretty simple: taxes, stupid.
You see, the government doesn't like you to conduct any profit making activity that they can't tax. Poker winnings are unreported income. No harm, no foul...which is great for us normal human beings, but sucks for the blood suckers who sit in the capital each term and ponder ways to make milk from stones.
Secondly, I still hold that what someone does in the privacy of their own home is their own business. Granted, it was dumb to have everyone park in the freaking street (if you are gonna spend that much money, and pay dealers and waitresses, hire a fucking car service and have them park at the local church), thus attracting the notice of neighbors. Nothing pisses me off more than trying to drive through the neighborhood to my house through the rat's nest of cars parked on both sides of the road.
I think the use of force for what basically amounts to tax evasion was really ridiculous. Really. Why can't we gamble? Why don't we turn Underground Atlanta into a large Harrah's, tax the shit outta that, and be done with it? Can we not gamble because gambling is a sin? (of course, if we could gamble, we couldn't gamble on a Sunday now could we?) Because gambling leads to crime (a dubious argument can be made there) and other forms of sin? Like drugs or prostitution or human smuggling?
We can't gamble because our lovely leaders can't figure out a way to tax our winnings, that's why. And because gambling, much like pot, is a gateway event that leads you to commit far worse crimes. You know, gambling leads to murder and gambling also leads to the desire to manufacture illegal drugs in the basement of your home.
Just like anything, if you make it legal, you have the right to tax the ever living shit out of it, and line your own fat wallets with pork funds shunted to your wallet off every special project you manage to shove through the Legislature.
So: legalize gambling and for crying out loud allow Sunday sales of alcohol!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment