Princess Fred and I are at it again…we were discussing the ways we show love….Her ex told her that she didn’t love him enough, and that got us wondering what people expect of love, so this is my stab at it….

Love is making sure you have clean clothes to wear every day, and razors to shave with, and non smelly towels with which to dry ones self. Love is eating a meal that someone else prepares for you, and it’s a meal that you might actually like! Love is coming home to a house that is mostly clean and smells good and has nice music and a happy and mostly relaxed woman. Love is having someone aware enough of your needs to have them taken care of without you noticing. You know you are loved when you pop into the kitchen for a snack and find little treats from the store that you know your partner doesn’t eat. Love is getting a surprise present, something you mentioned in passing but completely forgot about. Love is being nagged to go to the doctor, the dentist, the heart specialist, to get a mammogram, whatever – no one wants their partner to die early. No one wants to be the survivor at their lover’s funeral, or explain to their children why their parent has died.

Loving someone means you take care of them when they are sick, no matter the time of day or night. Loving someone means you listen to their hopes and fears without judgment. Loving someone means you accept them for who they are. Loving someone means you don’t denigrate them for their differences. Loving someone means that they fill you with joy. Loving someone means that you gently point out when they have their head in the clouds, or spinach in their teeth, or snot hanging from their nose, or toothpaste on their mouth. Loving someone actually entitles you to mock them after they’ve gone to the bathroom and forgotten the mannerly spray of Lysol. Loving someone means you can enjoy a comfortable silence - in the car, in the house, anywhere - without feeling panic or doom.

Those little pats you get in the hallway or in the kitchen? Yeah, that means that I love you. Those kisses I insist on stealing eight million times a day, those kisses that make you sigh like you are frustrated or bored even though I think you are secretly pleased? Those mean that I love you too. Those little looks we share when we’re out in public, or surrounded by family or friends who are doing something weird/odd/funny/off? Those mean that I really love you, because you so get me. Love is waking up with someone's hand on your arm, your thigh, or some part of your body. Being loved is waking up to a bit of a snuggle or a cuddle, which expresses a desire for closeness. Loving someone means that sex becomes more than a desire for physical release. Sex becomes you longing to please another person, not you wanting to get off. Loving someone makes sex so much better, because it really and truly becomes quality, and you learn to relax, and take your time. Loving someone means giving them what they want in bed without being afraid of rejection, or of your own body, or of being naked.

That’s what it means to me…what does it mean to you?