My Momma Done Tole Me

If you can't say anything nice, keep your mouth shut.

You catch more flies with honey, not vinegar (thanks, grandmom).

Some things are better left unsaid (yes, your ass does look fat in those pants).

People in glass houses should not throw fuschia pots.

Every cloud has a lining. Whether or not it's silver is a matter of interpretation.

Wash everything in cold. Except towels, which ye shall wash in hot, lest they smell.

Put lemon in your hair to lighten it in the summer.

Always pick up a penny. Who cares what side it's on? You are still one penny richer!

Once in a while, do something random. Pay someone else's toll. Tip your server 40%. Pay a stranger's tab. Drop $20 in the Salvation Army bucket at Xmas time.