Vacuum cleaners really are worthless creatures. Really, they are. Think about it. You spend your good, hard earned money on something that kicks up dust and inevitably breaks at exactly the wrong time. Why is that? Why? Also, why does the hose never seem to have any suction? As in, to get it to pick anything up you virtually have to scrub whatever it is you are trying to clean? Why do all the attachments always fall off? When they do fall off, where do they go? Do you suppose everyone’s house has a secret room and attachments and those darn stray socks all escape there and perpetually party? And why are all vacuum cleaners (uprights) so wide? You can’t fit one on a step without it falling down, no matter how you set it. I would really like a Dyson; I have convinced myself that a $400 vacuum cleaner is the way to go. Why…I have no idea. Probably for the same reason that I’m convinced an expensive car or an expensive television is of a better, more reliable quality than a less expensive model. And is it truly so? Or if I spend that $400 on that Dyson, will I still have my annual doorstop, albeit one of a $400 variety versus one of a $60 variety (Vacuum Cleaner Deathmatch: Dyson versus Hoover)? At least then it would be a pretty color.

People? You do know that when you buy that shiny red/blue/platinum colored washer or dryer, you really are paying $400 more JUST FOR THE COLOR.

Just checking.