Simple Twist of Fate

2008-11-14T18:11:00.001-04:00

Children:

Follow the link:

http://spiritintheglass.wordpress.com

Bye!

2008-10-23T15:24:00.000-04:00

Blogger blogger blogger, they made you out of clay
blogger blogger blogger, your ass is gonna pay!

QoG/SToF is moving to it's new name and location:

http://spiritintheglass.wordpress.com

Don't moan about lack of content: we're busy!

2008-10-22T09:54:00.000-04:00

Really, also, this is finals week....and that finance class is horrid (i have a 60 - one measly point shy of an F walking into the final!!!). I should never attempt to take three classes at once.

The good news is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel: I have submitted my enrollments for the last five classes that carry me through to graduation. Hooray!

2008-10-21T09:36:00.000-04:00

Did you wonder where I went?

I'm moving to wordpress...I'm just taking my time in making the transition, and in getting my page up, and making sure everything is just hunky dorky (and that's not a typo) for all y'all out in reader land.

So just...chill!

2008-10-14T09:56:00.003-04:00

Whether you like her or not, I look at these pictures and see a beautiful and happy woman, nursing her child. I love this series of photos.

2008-10-14T09:06:00.000-04:00

Oh, Google.

Google assures me repeatedly that I can change my login ID by changing the email account associated with my gmail account and that all accounts associated with that gmail account (including this blog) will be moved accordingly.

People, they lie like big fat rugs.

Unless GOOGLE GOOGLE GOOGLE someone at GOOGLE wakes up and tells me why this didn't work (when I edited my email, it created a new blog and did not copy over my current configurations), I am going to be moving to WORDPRESS.

Google, google, whereforarththou Google? Do you care?

I think not.....

2008-10-12T17:24:00.003-04:00

I have only lately begun to fully embrace my redneck heritage.

When we moved into the house in Dalton, having lived in Atlanta (oh, 73 to 79, or thereabouts)and then in Simpsonville (while small, it was quaint and had a nearby horsing community to lend it some charm from 79 to 82 or 83), I remember standing in the driveway, looking at the house and driveway and being sad.

Well, we drove by it yesterday. I haven't seen the house since...1997? It's just as ugly as ever. All the privet bushes are gone, and someone poured a driveway beneath the back deck. It's still brown. It's still depressing to look at and an eyesore. It has no grass, although it got a new driveway and garage doors at some point. The cow pasture is still a cow pasture. It's still real rural. I still hate it.

Living in Dalton made me into a redneck, and lowered my I.Q. by at least twenty points the second a drop of tapwater passed my lips. Something about all those carpet fibers hitting the town's water supply on a daily basis collectively suppressed the town's ability to evolve beyond a fifties style mentality. I. So. Hated. It.

I learned how to hack up phleghm and spit it really far at the bus stop with the other red neck boys (self defense for ned girls with glasses). God help me, I learned to suffer silently through farts on the bus. I never fit in with these people, being someone who read science fiction (that was satan's tool, and not fit reading for young ladies). I also did not wear makeup, or dresses (on a regular basis), or (and this will shock those of you who know me now) a regular believer in grooming. I didn't understand that those things were important if you wanted to be accepted by other girls, I think. I was a regular PigPen, at times, because I could not be bothered to care what these people thought. If they were not going to like me *sniff*, I certainly would not like them.

That is always such a successful strategy for making friends.

My own idiocy blinded me to the real natural beauty of the area. Yesterday's miniature tour (I took a wrong turn on the way back from the fair, which I'll talk about at a later day) reminded me how pretty it was. There are some beautiful places up there, although I cannot live in such an isolated area.

I always thought I was better than everyone I knew there because I was born in Atlanta and no one in my family worked in a mill. I certainly made myself unhappy and I felt constantly isolated. Perhaps those people I looked down upon had all the advantages I denied myself - they had a sense of community and belonging.

I have all these dreams and aspirations, but when you come down to it, and I anything more than a jumped up redneck?

2008-10-12T16:19:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but:

That was a GREAT Falcons game.

2008-10-10T15:07:00.003-04:00

I had all these ideas in my head the first time I made a trip abroad. Grand, romantic ideas about what being in another country would be like. Adventure – check. Bringing some snacks I could eat – check. Trying to blend in – check (well, as well as I can, at any rate). An element of mystery – check. Most importantly for me, I think I expect other countries to be capsules frozen in time. I expect them to have somehow escaped the modernization that daily erases American history. Face it – Americans have no interest in preserving history unless it generates a ROI. Imagine my dismay when I went to Europe and discovered that the landscape was not, in fact, dotted with castles and grazing sheep! Shocking!

To say I was bitterly disappointed in my first two or three trips abroad would be a wee bit of an understatement, until I realized that other people romanticize culture’s other than their own just as I do (explaining why Europeans and Asians flock here to shop and gamble and tour our landmarks…prior to this year, how many Americans – my own family excluded – do you know who spend quality time touring their own country?).

I first went to Washington, D.C. in seventh grade as part of one of those field trips you do with a school group. Call me cynical, but even at that age I was hardly impressed with the city. This would have been in 1985 or 1986, when the city was hardly the shining gem it is today. In fact, it was dirty, smelly, and I recall that it was FULL of panhandlers and shouting vagrants. Oh, and it rained the whole damn time, and since it was a budget trip we slept on the bus one night and ate the worst food possible (one meal was a dinner theater presentation of the “Sound of Music” at a dinner theater called, I shit you not, The Lazy Susan. Never, ever eat at a place where the words Lazy or Susan are mentioned in the title. Absolutely abysmal. Really.) And the city had a definite if not audible air of hostility. Complete contrast to the most recent trip, where it is clear that the city is enjoying a beautifully orchestrated Renaissance combined with a full on aura of polite paranoia (and in full parallel, our time at the Smithsonian was once again spent almost entirely around the Air and Space Museum, except this time we have cool photos, which I will post as soon as I can, and we spent SEVEN exact minutes in the Art Museum thanks for your diligence in counting, Security Folk, hope you enjoy your $12/hour).

People have some appalling manners. I would no more go to another country and disrespect someone’s history or a monument than I would pick my nose in a public place although there are some inhabitants of D.C. that I would happily wipe snot on. Now, I know I’m supposed to make some allowances for cultural differences, but can I tell you that I was horrified to visit the World War Two memorial and see it full of Indians with their feet in the reflecting pool. Or to see children hanging off the commemorative wreaths, and other children running in front of you when you are trying to take a photo, with the parents looking on in laughter without so much as looking your way to even offer an apology? Very few of the tourists we saw were, in fact, from America and the ones we did see were our age or older, and childless. As we toured Arlington on our way out, I remarked to Mr. Manners as we passed a much older and primarily male group of Germans (under my breath) that it was rather ironic that they chose to tour Arlington (given the particular area they were in, pebbles and all).

As an American woman who can trace her roots back to the first of her family to set foot upon this soil after leaving the British Isles, in many ways I’m proud of my country. I’m proud of America’s democratic history. I’m extraordinarily proud of the solidity of our Constitution and Bill of Rights (I think only the Magna Carta has withstood as many legal challenges throughout history). I’m proud of the fact that we have always been a nation that was willing to accept the world’s refugees, the world’s outcasts, the world’s runaways, victims, you name it, and has embraced them, given them an opportunity to succeed, and made them our own (oh, the populist flute just popped out, I swear it did). I’m proud of the fact that we have a great record as a charitable organization – we spread our collective wealth all over the world, helping people fight malaria, polio, HIV/AIDs, cancer, measles, etc. I’m proud of the fact that we stick up for the underdog, and yes, I’m proud of the fact that we are the police force for the globe (even though we don’t always, uh, judiciously apply our forces). I’m proud of the fact that ordinary Americans are willing to rally together in times of darkness to demand what is right. I’m proud of the citizenry of this country. We don’t make the decisions that represent us to the rest of the world, it’s true, but we make the decisions that keep the country moving on a day to day basis. We can’t tell the future, we don’t know if we’ll have jobs tomorrow, and every time we make a decision concerning our jobs, our houses, our insurance, our finances, it’s a bit of a gamble because all those decisions rely on outside forces, but you manage through those forces to the best decision you can (perhaps with your fingers crossed for a bit of luck). And really, you just don’t look too hard at the worst case scenario, because that leaves you with an ache in the bottom of your stomach and a deeply terrifying feeling that won’t go away.

Some of the people who are in charge of the stewardship of this country have made some incredibly poor decisions. Perhaps those decisions were motivated by greed. Perhaps those decisions were motivated by stupidity or it’s parasitic twin, ignorance. Those decisions have led us into a path now that cannot, despite all this talk of bailouts (spin aside, folks, it’s a bailout and it results in higher taxes…wouldn’t it be better if, as dad has suggested, the government just gave you and I that money rather than the banks? Wouldn’t that solve everyone’s problems by paying off all mortgages and credit card debts?), be undone. I’m starting to be ashamed, boys and girls, because look what so much power in the hands of a select few has managed to do to the world.

Power corrupts…and evidently cash does too….

2008-10-09T17:12:00.002-04:00

On an absolutely unrelated note...

I was reading about the new "Atlanta Housewives" in the Atlanta Constipation Urinal the other day. Yet again I am reminded that we are consistently last in education....

Anyway, looking at the pictures of those women, who are all *about* my age...I thought:

Damn, I look good for my age.

Ha ha (what's the name of the bully on the Simpson's who goes ha ha all the time?...yeah, say it that way)

2008-10-09T17:02:00.000-04:00

It can't be all that bad, can it?

The crash of '29 saw a rash of suicides among investors and bankers and you haven't seen one single story about an investor or a banker taking his/her own life.

No, instead you see sad stories about people killing their entire families, or that 90 year old woman who tried to shoot herself in the home she was about to lose. You see stories about regular people who have nothing left to lose except their lives, which they chose to take rather than go on and have society view them as a failure.

And the people who contributed to the ruin of those lives?

2008-10-08T09:06:00.000-04:00

Mr. Manners pointed out to me bright and early yesterday morning that I'd soy sauce on both boobs of my jacket. Great. So I spent the day with my jacket pulled across myself, straight jacket style, all day at work. Fanfuckingtastic.

The financial world continues it's implosion with great abandon. While we've been THE SKY IS FALLING THE SKY IS FALLING the rest of the world has been quietly addressing their own issues (Germany arranging bank loans for it's second largest mortgage lender, the U.K. bailing out a bank or two, Ireland, Spain, several banks in Asia, Austraila, etc.). The world is not (as much as the rest of you would like to pretend) entirely immune from financial woes. And not, I think, because you are dependent upon the dollar. Those countries were also known for nuttily inflated property values as well (c'mon...a 950 square foot toilet in Paris is not worth one million euros....and I don't give a shit, if you'll pardon the pun, if it IS in Paris!). So something of this sort was bound to happen eventually.

The question remains....how bad will this become?

Will we all lose our jobs? Will there be rampant unemployment? I don't mean seventies style unemployment, with gas lines, increases in welfare, food stamps, and public assistance....and it isn't like Atlanta itself isn't already eerily facing signs of some of the same fiscal woes it faced then. I remember being a child when Atlanta couldn't pay some of it's bills, and the city would turn off alternating lights on the highway to save money. Or gas lines...remember gas lines? Georgia is going to be short on revenue (if we are closing state parks, we don't have any money).

A small part of me (let's call this the doomsday scenario) wonders if when this all shakes out there will continue to be a middle class. We are, after all, a class that only came to be with the spawning of the industrial age - the birth of the machine gave rise to the concept of leisure time. Without leisure time, there is no middle class - we all become laborers. If white collar jobs become incredibly scarce because regulation becomes very restrictive in banking, investing, insurance, mortgages and healthcare (some of the primary employers in the United States), where will the jobs then be found for these displaced workers? Will Americans become global workers or will they remain here?

If they remain here, will we be plunged into economic chaos (where oranges for Christmas are once again a treat?)?

I don't have much confidence in the people we have elected to be our leaders. I do not have any confidence in the traders and investors who so much as fart and drop my 401K's value by 25% in a given second. I have even less faith in those purportedly highly educated, highly paid pundits, analysts and talking heads that provide the voice of America today. I think they've gotten it all wrong as they attempt to steer us through the darkness.

But history is what makes fools of us all.

2008-10-03T10:48:00.000-04:00

Fascinating, this whole Wachovia-WellsFargo-Citigroup deal!

Who do you suppose is the bigger shark, Citigroup or WellsFargo?

And in other news, it seems California might want to tap the Feds for a $7 billion dollar loan. Doesn't California have a seemingly disproportionate number of millionaires? Can't they do one of those little starving actor fundraisers and pay for it themselves? Piss off, and go stand in the back of the line.

Steve Fossett was a bit of a daredevil and it seems he died doing what he loved best. It might have been better if we'd never discovered what had become of him. I think he might have liked to remain shrouded in history's mystery.

Here in sunny Roswell, it is a pleasant 62 degrees outside, and 61 degrees inside my house. I'm wearing two sweaters and standing in the kitchen, working.

Happy Friday!

Wall Street of Shame

2008-10-01T13:39:00.001-04:00

Otherwise known as: 2007's List of Executive Failures, 8 Men Who Aided in The Collapse of The Economy, or 8 CEO's Who Should Never Get Another Job in Corporate America (Would You Like Fries with That?)

Stanley O'Neal, leader of Merrill Lynch, 2007 pay packet including options and retirement perks: $160,000,000.00.

Angelo Mozilo, leader of Countrywide Mortgage (previously a very large employer in the Atlanta area, I believe), pay packet in 2007 worth $121,500,000.00.

Richard Fuld, Lehman Brothers, 2007 estimated earnings of $40,000,000.00. Why estimated and not disclosed? It is the end of 2008; has someone not filed their taxes? My my!

James Cayne, Bear Sterns, 2007 earnings $160,000,000.00.

Oh holy jeez, I'm about to have a stroke:

Richard Syron, Freddie Mac, Mr. Na Na I'm Not Listening To You Because I'm Dreaming of Rolling Around Naked With Blond Russian Twins with my pay package of $14,000,000.00. Oh yeah...SUCKERS!

Daniel Mudd, Fannie Mae, 2007, $13,000,000.00.

Kennedy Thompson, Wachovia (the bank I am about to leave. This is how I reward lack of accountability; I'm a consumer, and you are my bank. You are a poor performer, and sold my account to a competitor of my employer. Therefore, I am closing my account. Have a nice day!). 2007 earnings package? $21,000,000.00 Ah, those daily fees on top of overdraft fees really add up, don't they?

Kerry Killinger, WaMu, $14,400,000.00.

Source.

How disappointed are you to realize that these are the people whose lifestyles and bad decisions you are being asked to support? The media plays down the impact of this entire situation by using what I refer to as financial shorthand; it looks far more frightening with all those zeros, doesn't it?

Every single one of those companies has failed, or will fail soon. All those leaders have either been ousted, or have sought federal aid to rescue their failed companies, but I can promise you all of them still continue to draw a paycheck and enjoying their perks, while laying off workers, and looking for new ways to screw consumers out of their money. I'm not sorry. I hope they go to jail. And I hope every one of the gentlemen above (isn't that generous) enjoys having "failed CEO" on their resume.

And now for something completely differentL

2008-09-30T15:47:00.001-04:00

Congratulations to Mr. Manchester and his lovely bride of 19 years!

Everyone join me in wishing them a delightful and joyous wedding anniversary. May you have many more to come, and may each new year together bring you peace and contentment.

Oh, and failing that....year 19 brings you an anniversary gift of bronze.

I suppose that is better than year one, which is....paper, or year seven, which is wool.

2008-09-30T10:53:00.000-04:00

I don't like China, but they have this nifty concept called "The Execution Bus" and when you've been a very naughty boy indeed, the bus rolls up to your corporation's front door, and you are expected to step inside, and you leave in a body bag. China uses it to get rid of corporations who do things like, oh, kill babies by selling tainted milk, or dog food, or toys with lead, or other immoral and irresponsible acts brought about by greed and profit chasing.

I can see The Execution Bus rolling down Wall Street now.....

Reverse Jumping the Shark?

2008-09-30T10:02:00.000-04:00

Sarah Palin has managed to achieve what many people have claimed was impossible:

She's made "Saturday Night Live" relevant again.

2008-09-29T21:25:00.001-04:00

Here's the thing, see....

It's not like the Depression. Household savings and checking accounts aren't the things at stake. No, the Depression and the Great Crash netted us the FDIC - which means your money at the bank is insured against runs and catastrophic losses. Insured. Yeah, you read that right.

So what the government is saying is that this Wall Street Bailout, this one that failed, is basically a reward for investors who gambled with other people's money (to reduce the risk of loss to themselves) and when they lost money and walked off, someone was left holding the bag, and it was about to be you and me. We were about to be asked to "insure" an industry that had no right to be in the first place, an industry that was created and allowed fortunes to be made by trading on risk like a commodity.

Ah yes...what are those famous words?

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be"

I can't wait to get out of debt.

2008-09-29T16:39:00.001-04:00

Let me tell you why I'm glad:

The bill, in it's original draft, gave the Treasury the right to make decisions without judicial review.

Even Presidential decisions can face judicial scrutiny.

2008-09-29T14:43:00.001-04:00

House Vote Tally on Bailout:

People for Reasonable Governance and Personal Responsibility and Accountability: 228

Greedy Corporate Scum Sucking Bastards Voting: 205

2008-09-26T18:58:00.000-04:00

The weekend is upon us yet again. As those of you who know me well know, Friday's find me grumpy and tired. This week it seems especially so - I'd gotten my hopes up that the repairman would be able to fix the washer (we broke down and scheduled an appointment) with a wave of his repairman ratchettype wand on the spot.

Of course, it was not to be. It would be another $247 and another week. I decided it wasn't worth it.

And adding further to the crankiness further is the ache in my back. I don't know what I've done, but I've an ache in my back that won't stop. Unless I'm asleep. And since I can't seem to sleep more than six hours a night, and certainly none uninterrupted, I've given up on that as well.

I can't think any further about the economy (although the conspiracy theorist in me notes that some of the players in the news this week were previously rumored to be potential suitors for my employer, and the accidental nature of our sale yanking release to the press was timed a bit oddly in light of what occurred otherwise, yesterday). My head just might explode.

Lol - now do you believe me? I am always grumpy and tired on Friday.

2008-09-25T21:53:00.001-04:00

Let me get this straight:

Federal Regulators tonight, while you and I were eating dinner, seized control of Washington Mutual and sold it at bargain basement prices to JP Morgan Chase.

Are you people not aghast at this? The government just swooped in and seized a bank.

Is that even lawful? I am appalled.

Doesn't anyone see what unprecedented power the treasury has just granted itself????

2008-09-25T09:30:00.003-04:00

You know, there's an odd parallel between what is occurring to us economically now and pre-Revolutionary France.

The peasants always pay for the excesses of the wealthy, don't they?

Viva la Revolution!

2008-09-24T09:36:00.000-04:00

Clay Aiken is gay.

Well color me purple and put a polka dotted bow on my head, I had no idea!

Again, why is this news? Another classic misdirect (it's the economy, stupid, now you'd better get sharp and focus on things while the balance of power is still visible to we peasants).

2008-09-23T17:42:00.003-04:00

"[Some] seem to think that [civilization's] advance has brought on too complicated a state of society, and that we should gain in happiness by treading back our steps a little way. I think, myself, that we have more machinery of government than is necessary, too many parasites living on the labor of the industrious. I believe it might be much simplified to the relief of those who maintain it." --Thomas Jefferson to William Ludlow, 1824. ME 16:75

Yes...too many parasites living on the labor of the industrious. Too many CEO's with multi million dollar salaries sitting pretty while you and I and Bob and Sue and Leroy and Lelanie and Miguel and Chen, and Chen's granddaughter, and her daughter's daughter will all be paying for the mistakes and gross incompetence of the parasites (living off the labor of Chen, and you, and me).

For what little it's worth, I think Jefferson would be appalled at the...incest that happens regularly between the captains of industry (perhaps better re-monikered the captains of investment or rats of the sinking ship) and the government. I've been reading extensively on this subject, and it seems that everyone and god thinks that the bailouts are "the right thing to do".

WRONG

The right thing to do is: jail, baby, for all those CEO's, and restitution to the company and to the people they essentially defrauded. The right thing to do is to stop letting the BANKS set their own policies. The BANKS got themselves into this mess in the first place, so it's only right that they take a hit as well. Do I really care that the bank holds a note that says your house is work $200K when it is really only worth $150K? No, I don't, but the bank does. The bank isn't going to, even if you are facing foreclosure, or bankruptcy, adjust the amount of your loan to reflect market value. The bank is going to hold your feet to the fire as long as possible, and hope they can nickle and dime you to death before you walk into their local branch and fling your house keys at the brand manager's head. If Congress were honorable, they would have insisted that the banks downwardly adjust the principal in true hardship cases. But we know they aren't, and they like their little kick backs and "after I retire from Congress" board positions, and vacations, and all those little PAC monies that they aren't allowed to have.

So Wall Street, and our continued lack of common sense regulation in existing and emerging markets, has led us down the garden path into a recession/depression. Retailers are already moaning about the poor holiday season. Boofreakinghoo. Cry me a river. Produce something someone wants, or lower your prices, or STFU. Imaginary hype isn't going to get it.

I'll be glad when reality re-intrudes and we all come down off this high we've been on. Perpetual growth...ya know...

2008-09-23T17:33:00.001-04:00

This is Thomas Jefferson's First Inaugural Address, dated March 4, 1801 when the land was leaving it's colonial days behind and becoming a country. His words remind me of how we have failed (I have restrained myself from highlighting the important bits; you can find those yourself):

"Friends and Fellow Citizens:

Called upon to undertake the duties of the first executive office of our country, I avail myself of the presence of that portion of my fellow-citizens which is here assembled to express my grateful thanks for the favor with which they have been pleased to look toward me, to declare a sincere consciousness that the task is above my talents, and that I approach it with those anxious and awful presentiments which the greatness of the charge and the weakness of my powers so justly inspire. A rising nation, spread over a wide and fruitful land, traversing all the seas with the rich productions of their industry, engaged in commerce with nations who feel power and forget right, advancing rapidly to destinies beyond the reach of mortal eye -- when I contemplate these transcendent objects, and see the honor, the happiness, and the hopes of this beloved country committed to the issue and the auspices of this day, I shrink from the contemplation, and humble myself before the magnitude of the undertaking. Utterly, indeed, should I despair did not the presence of many whom I here see remind me that in the other high authorities provided by our Constitution I shall find resources of wisdom, of virtue, and of zeal on which to rely under all difficulties. To you, then, gentlemen, who are charged with the sovereign functions of legislation, and to those associated with you, I look with encouragement for that guidance and support which may enable us to steer with safety the vessel in which we are all embarked amidst the conflicting elements of a troubled world.

During the contest of opinion through which we have passed the animation of discussions and of exertions has sometimes worn an aspect which might impose on strangers unused to think freely and to speak and to write what they think; but this being now decided by the voice of the nation, announced according to the rules of the Constitution, all will, of course, arrange themselves under the will of the law, and unite in common efforts for the common good. All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression. Let us, then, fellow-citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us restore to social intercourse that harmony and affection without which liberty and even life itself are but dreary things. And let us reflect that, having banished from our land that religious intolerance under which mankind so long bled and suffered, we have yet gained little if we countenance a political intolerance as despotic, as wicked, and capable of as bitter and bloody persecutions. During the throes and convulsions of the ancient world, during the agonizing spasms of infuriated man, seeking through blood and slaughter his long-lost liberty, it was not wonderful that the agitation of the billows should reach even this distant and peaceful shore; that this should be more felt and feared by some and less by others, and should divide opinions as to measures of safety. But every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle. We have called by different names brethren of the same principle. We are all Republicans, we are all Federalists. If there be any among us who would wish to dissolve this Union or to change its republican form, let them stand undisturbed as monuments of the safety with which error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it. I know, indeed, that some honest men fear that a republican government can not be strong, that this Government is not strong enough; but would the honest patriot, in the full tide of successful experiment, abandon a government which has so far kept us free and firm on the theoretic and visionary fear that this Government, the world's best hope, may by possibility want energy to preserve itself? I trust not. I believe this, on the contrary, the strongest Government on earth. I believe it the only one where every man, at the call of the law, would fly to the standard of the law, and would meet invasions of the public order as his own personal concern. Sometimes it is said that man can not be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then, be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the forms of kings to govern him? Let history answer this question.

Let us, then, with courage and confidence pursue our own Federal and Republican principles, our attachment to union and representative government. Kindly separated by nature and a wide ocean from the exterminating havoc of one quarter of the globe; too high-minded to endure the degradations of the others; possessing a chosen country, with room enough for our descendants to the thousandth and thousandth generation; entertaining a due sense of our equal right to the use of our own faculties, to the acquisitions of our own industry, to honor and confidence from our fellow-citizens, resulting not from birth, but from our actions and their sense of them; enlightened by a benign religion, professed, indeed, and practiced in various forms, yet all of them inculcating honesty, truth, temperance, gratitude, and the love of man; acknowledging and adoring an overruling Providence, which by all its dispensations proves that it delights in the happiness of man here and his greater happiness hereafter -- with all these blessings, what more is necessary to make us a happy and a prosperous people? Still one thing more, fellow-citizens -- a wise and frugal Government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government, and this is necessary to close the circle of our felicities.

About to enter, fellow-citizens, on the exercise of duties which comprehend everything dear and valuable to you, it is proper you should understand what I deem the essential principles of our Government, and consequently those which ought to shape its Administration. I will compress them within the narrowest compass they will bear, stating the general principle, but not all its limitations. Equal and exact justice to all men, of whatever state or persuasion, religious or political; peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations, entangling alliances with none; the support of the State governments in all their rights, as the most competent administrations for our domestic concerns and the surest bulwarks against antirepublican tendencies; the preservation of the General Government in its whole constitutional vigor, as the sheet anchor of our peace at home and safety abroad; a jealous care of the right of election by the people -- a mild and safe corrective of abuses which are lopped by the sword of revolution where peaceable remedies are unprovided; absolute acquiescence in the decisions of the majority, the vital principle of republics, from which is no appeal but to force, the vital principle and immediate parent of despotism; a well-disciplined militia, our best reliance in peace and for the first moments of war till regulars may relieve them; the supremacy of the civil over the military authority; economy in the public expense, that labor may be lightly burthened; the honest payment of our debts and sacred preservation of the public faith; encouragement of agriculture, and of commerce as its handmaid; the diffusion of information and arraignment of all abuses at the bar of the public reason; freedom of religion; freedom of the press, and freedom of person under the protection of the habeas corpus, and trial by juries impartially selected. These principles form the bright constellation which has gone before us and guided our steps through an age of revolution and reformation. The wisdom of our sages and blood of our heroes have been devoted to their attainment. They should be the creed of our political faith, the text of civic instruction, the touchstone by which to try the services of those we trust; and should we wander from them in moments of error or of alarm, let us hasten to retrace our steps and to regain the road which alone leads to peace, liberty, and safety.

I repair, then, fellow-citizens, to the post you have assigned me. With experience enough in subordinate offices to have seen the difficulties of this the greatest of all, I have learnt to expect that it will rarely fall to the lot of imperfect man to retire from this station with the reputation and the favor which bring him into it. Without pretensions to that high confidence you reposed in our first and greatest revolutionary character, whose preeminent services had entitled him to the first place in his country's love and destined for him the fairest page in the volume of faithful history, I ask so much confidence only as may give firmness and effect to the legal administration of your affairs. shall often go wrong through defect of judgment. When right, shall often be thought wrong by those whose positions will not command a view of the whole ground. I ask your indulgence for my own errors, which will never be intentional, and your support against the errors of others, who may condemn what they would not if seen in all its parts. The approbation implied by your suffrage is a great consolation to me for the past, and my future solicitude will be to retain the good opinion of those who have bestowed it in advance, to conciliate that of others by doing them all the good in my power, and to be instrumental to the happiness and freedom of all.

Relying, then, on the patronage of your good will, advance with obedience to the work, ready to retire from it whenever you become sensible how much better choice it is in your power to make. And may that Infinite Power which rules the destinies of the universe lead our councils to what is best, and give them a favorable issue for your peace and prosperity. "

You Must Buy This Now (The Culture of Want)

2008-09-23T14:23:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, you were content to listen to music on the radio. When you went for a walk, you were content to listen to the birds and enjoy nature. When you got in your car, if you had a radio, you were happy to have whatever was on. A Saturday night might find the family listening to a radio program while eating dinner and cleaning up.

Wouldn't it be cool, though, if you could listen to just the music YOU like and not the music everyone else likes? Dig it, daddy 0. No one would talk to you either, and if you like you can play it over and over again until you are quite sick of it. Ah, the popularity of the record player just grew and grew until everyone had one. And then everyone had the stereo - you know, a record player, a tape deck (or 8track), and a radio in one unit. So you could...tape things and play them back later. Impossible! Astounding! Amazing!

Suddenly that silence on your walk doesn't seem like such a good idea anymore. Wouldn't you walk faster if you had your own tunes to walk to? Maybe something with a good beat, or a catchy chorus, something thumpy for your evening run. Oh! You can make a mix tape for that little Walkman you got for Christmas! Just the thing!

Now technology has made your records obsolete. Their replacement, the compact disc, also obsolete in favor of digital music (the music industry might protest, but the death knell for their existing business model tolled way back when the real Napster first made it's debut). Now we have phones, and satellite music, and ipods, and burners, and can make our own music if you like.

And all along, we got sweet talked into buying all this stuff that we never really needed. You didn't need a record player; someone made you think that you wanted one. You didn't need a walkman; someone made you think that you wanted one.

Isn't that a summary of our contemporary culture? We spend ourselves into debt buying things we do not need and yet oddly feel that we want. It is the same phenomenom that leaves you disappointed when you hit that big sale at Macy's only to leave empty handed.

Sometimes there are just times when you realize there is nothing worth spending your hard earned money on.

2008-09-23T14:08:00.001-04:00

Those of us who reside here accept that the South is a peculiar place. After all, we live on southern soil, and breathe southern air, and grow up steeped in all parts (good and bad) of southern culture (skids or otherwise!)

It must be said, however, that we do like to come up with odd nicknames for our husbands, our wives, our partners, our children, our pets.

For instance: Madeline Anne is frequently called MaddyGail, hairball, fishbreath, Maddylena, Maddycakes, etc. Zoe is Harriett Houdini, or tater, or cutie pie or just plain momma's baby :-)

Back to people, where else in the world is referring to someone as “butterball” an endearment?

And we do have a WIDE variety of food related nicknames: muffin, sugar (and it’s kissing cousin, sugar-pie), dumpling, pumpkin, butternut squash, peapod, peanut, honey, apple of my eye, etc. followed by your classics: sweetheart, baby, sweetie, darling, babygirl, etc. You also one remaining category of slang that influences our nickname vocabulary, with one honorable mention: boo.

My personal favorite? Grandmother’s “sugarfoot” . That’s the ultimate expression of grandmotherly love…being called sugarfoot.

I guess that’s just a southern thing.

2008-09-23T10:23:00.000-04:00

What did mankind do without the invention of dental services? Did our naked ancestors stroll around the plains looking for handy herbs with which to scrub their teeth? Did someone chomp on a piece of mint and voila mouthwash was born?

Yesterday I had two fillings replaced. Part of me thinks this is a racket, like every dentist's desire to removal all wisdom teeth, and straighten every tooth in your mouth. Even as an adult, every time I go to a new dentist, they all try to upsell me on braces. Braces are a form of extreme discipline and reduce any likelihood of having a normal teenage-hood to somewhere between nil and zero. Coupled with pink glasses, long stringy hair, and clothes acquired from wherever...

You get the point: I'm never getting braces again. I'd like veneers, though. The BallChicks at the Braves game all had them, and I thought they looked nice. Those and the fake racks.

As usual, the office is running late. It's a weird office - a de-converted Macaroni Grill (or something italian-ish like that) - run by weird people but almost entirely female, which is a change.

First, the impressions for the mouthguard. I am a jaw clencher and a teeth grinder of a the first order, so this is a necessity, although an expensive one. The first mould was too big to even fit in my mouth, and my little dental hygenist (from Bulgaria, I asked, and not so little) had to go get the children's plate for little ole moi! That shit is gross, let me tell ya, and you have to have three impressions made to make sure it's right.

As they are gassing me up, and giving me the numbing gel, the dentist strolls in, pops the mask off my face and says "Girl, are you high yet?" and starts laughing like a madwoman. So does the hygenist from Bulgaria, who starts in on crazy patients on gas stories, like the woman who hallucinated a bear, or the patient who passed out in the chair, and then we went into office gossip, and patient gossip, and I was rather entertained as I had two fillings drilled out and replaced (the smell, oh my god, the smell of your teeth being drilled out of your head is really rather revolting. When did my nose get so sensitive?)

Leaving the office is not such a good experience. I look like Billy Idol - I'm afraid I'm going to drool, so I have this perpetual sneer. Driving back to the office to pick up Mr. Manners, the whole world has gone plumb crazy and tilted the wrong way on it's axis because people are LINING UP TO GET GAS like complete idiots. And it's messing up my driving pattern, people, so get the hell out of the way. And yes, there is only one gas station on the whole of Mansell Road with gas, and it's the Racetrac, the one that you can't get into from the main road...yeah, the one with shitty frontage.

The whole no gas thing still entertains me. Why is there no gas? Because people are idiots. Do folks really think that the oil you put in your car comes only from Texas?

Oh yeah, right....I forget I live in a country where some of the top selling publications are USA Today and Time Magazine (NewsForThirdGraders, and NewsForDummies, respectively).

2008-09-22T09:20:00.000-04:00

I know this might be astounding, but I've nothing amazing or englightening or ranting or bitchy to say.

Oh, at no attempting lyrical or literary greatness. The brain has checked out.

It is entirely possible that I work harder, and wear myself out, on the weekends than I do during the week.

*yawn* is it Monday already? wake me when it's Friday...

Happy First Day of Fall! (and not a moment too soon)

2008-09-19T16:41:00.001-04:00

It's Friday night, the house is clean, satellite radio is on, and dinner is in the oven.

What could be better?

2008-09-18T14:27:00.006-04:00

Please visit http://clusterfook.com/products-page/.

This lady has cancer for the third time and is making jewelry to supplement her family's income as she has been denied all benefits by our LOVELY GOVERNMENT. Visit her page, buy a bracelet (if you can), make a donation, or just leave a note.

2008-09-18T14:27:00.004-04:00

On Good Morning America, BigMouthBiden said "It's time to be patriotic....time to jump in, time to be part of the deal, time to help America get out of the rut".

He's referring to raising taxes, folks.

It is not patriotic to pay taxes.

No taxation without representation, remember? founding principle, and everything, for the revolution? Did someone fail United States history as well as economics and civics?

I am SO ANGRY about these bailouts I can't stand it. Fannie and Freddie had to be bailed out. Ok, great, so now the government is really in the mortgage industry. Insurance? And now Detroit has come begging?

(here is my aside on Detroit: screw the Big Three. They have faced increased competition from foreign automakers for years. Rather than, oh, build quality vehicles, work on new technology that wasn't oil dependent, improve effeciency in their production lines, etc they spent time and money lobbying for increases in tariffs and taxes on import vehicles. Ever wonder why Honda and Toyota have domestic plants these days? Cheaper to make them here than abroad and pay that tax. For years, those asshats have sat their butts (rested on their laurels is waaaay too polite an expression) and let the money rake in, and now that they look obsolete and can't compete, they want to ask Congress for a bailout. Darlings, fuck you. Fuck all of you. You mismanaged yourself into a hole. I feel sorry for your employees, but...this is a free market. Remain competitive or die. You just died. Time to drop off the vine).

I am very disappointed in the leadership of our country. Whatever happened to accountability? What has happened in our country has happened because of lack of legal oversight (in the mortgage industry) and the complete greed of the people running the corporations of America (the same people who fire you, outsource your jobs, and then whine when their sales go down, and their stocks go down).

Every single American should be asking themselves this question: if YOU lost your company millions of dollars, would you still have a job? If you LIED about how something was funded, or the risk involved in a new project or job, would you have a job that paid you a gagillion dollars (or would you be looking at jail time)?

I see no reason to bail out Detroit. I saw no reason to bail out AIG (still don't). The only thing I see is that the Administration just bought us some expensive debt, that will either be paid for through tax increases or budget cuts. Now, the biggest bang in budget cuts traditionally comes out of military spending...so...somehow I don't think the $160 billion needed to cover the two existing bailouts is going to come out of the Pentagon's operating budget.

I see no reason to bail out any company who pays a CEO a salary in excess of a million dollars (not including stocks, etc). That is just greedy. I think the CEO of AIG, and the leaders of Fannie Mae, ought to be tried for gross negligence and incompentence and sent to jail. What? If I acted like you (or the rest of us in consumer land) the very second we got into trouble we'd all go running and asking for handouts. Wait, I forgot..we used to have the protection of the bankruptcy courts until companies like AIG and BOA and Chase and Citi all got together and lobbied Congress to change the laws so that they could recover more of their penalites and interest under the bankruptcy laws! That's right!! I remember now, the little guy has no recourse! There is no single person on this earth who is worth that much money. Period. End of Story. Ever. You guys get no sympathy from me - you did it to yourself, and you deserve to face the music.

And if that doesn't work -

Bring back the public stocks. I'll be first in line with a bushel of tomatoes. I can't wait.

Why We Protest (or Scientology is A Cult)

2008-09-17T14:01:00.005-04:00

We had, one could say, an interesting aside on our D.C. trip.

Earlier, I’d blogged about the anti Scientology group Anonymous’ plans to protest at Katie Holmes Broadway debut. You all know I think Katie and Suri are darlings (even if Suri does sometimes remind me, in the odd way some small children have, of Marvin the Martian, but she’s cute, so it works), and Tom Cruise is just odd.

We’re strolling around in front of the White House, and Mr. Manners is snapping photos like mad. I’m admiring the great job the secret service and Homeland Security have done putting in cameras that give them a view of every inch of the square in front of the White House and every angle coming and going. At one point, Mr. Manners and I both look up at a lamp post and wave. I mouthed “Hi, President Bush!”.

Just like us, everywhere there are tourists, and only a small amount of protestors. Some protestors are carrying signs and walking around silently, while others are dressed in long robes, or are wearing wigs and carnival masks and handing out…anti Scientology literature! We’re approached by a woman in a wig and carnival mask (yes, I have the brochure, and no, I won’t put it up). I’ve had my first real life introduction to Anonymous!

In reading my site tracker, I noted that my blog article had gotten picked up on a message board that seemed to sympathize with the group. That tickled me, and the periodic subsequent hits made me want to leave little messages that said HOWDY!

Later, we’re driving through D.C. and yet again I am lost (and swearing because there is no such thing as traffic flow in that city), we stumble upon a Scientology center with a cross on the building. I’m rather offended by this, because I really think they are a cult, and I’m not sure a cult should….well….demean the cross by using it. Mr. Manners was offended as well, and as we were stuck at the light, and a bit overheated and badly tempered already, well….

Let us just say the words, with the windows down, were uttered at high volume and not necessarily in this order “CULT…..ALIENS……MOUNTAINS!!!!”

2008-09-17T14:01:00.002-04:00

I have a novel idea: since the government essentially just bought an insurance company...why can't you require AIG, as part of taking taxpayer dollars to bail them out of their little fiscal and operational drama, to start insuring American's who are uninsurable, in terms of health coverage?

I mean, after all, you and I just bought ourselves and our grandkids an insurance firm! Why not make it work for us?

2008-09-17T10:22:00.002-04:00

Ah, I see the beginnings of a bright new future ahead of us...in twenty years, I can see the opening of some new buildings in our nation's fair capital:

The Insurance Regulation Commission

The Mortgage Regulation Commission

The Healthcare Regulation Commission

Oh, wait...that doesn't scare you? Let me change the wording a bit:

The Insurance Ministry

The Mortgage Ministry

The Healthcare Ministry

Commission sounds so...innocuous, doesn't it? So American, so patriotic! And yet what we've done today with the bailout of AIG is create another taxpayer funded risk pool, so you might as well stick a fucking sign on it and call it the American Insurance Commission and be done with it.

Damnit, so much for market correction and free trade.

2008-09-16T14:37:00.003-04:00

Oh, and one more thing (yes, I'll do the Washington write up soon, I promise).

Supply: the amount of something there is to consume.

Demand: the need of people to consume something.

Idiocy: people stocking up on gas because of a hurricane that is thousands of miles away.

Results: gas price gouging, gas shortages, gas outages, and REALLY DUMB PEOPLE jacking the cost of gasoline up $1 or $2 a gallon because they fail to understand the laws of supply and demand.

What, you think we're gonna run out of oil because a hurricane makes landfall in Texas?

2008-09-16T14:29:00.004-04:00

It's official.

The economy is in the shitter.

My anemic stock portfolio (401K, thanks) dropped $1000 between Friday and today.

Paulson and Bernake were both to refuse to bail out Lehman with Federal funds. I have news for you big boys - if you run your company so poorly, you deserve for your company to go belly up, and maybe you should do some jail time for corporate malfeasance. Or maybe you should just go to jail for being a big fat leech that's become bloated by sucking the lifeblood out of the American consumer.

Bernake is also right to refuse a rate cut. Banks don't want to "earn money the old fashioned way" (my, remember that line? isn't that a joke these days?), they expect the government to bail them out constantly by lowering the rate of borrowing or providing a free handout when times are tough. Well, piss on you. You don't extend the favor to the consumer (who wouldn't love a 2% interest loan on their mortgage), and we are the ones who ultimately pay for your bail out, so....no, no, and no. You don't get another rate cut. Suck it up, and ride it out. I've always said that nothing in nature has perpetual growth, so it's time for you big boys up there in investor la la land to wake up and figure that out. Profit maximization is a short term suckers game, and you just got caught.

Days One and Two

2008-09-12T21:08:00.003-04:00

Well, no one is dead!

We decided to drop in on mom and dad last night and spent the night in Charlotte. After a late start this morning, and a heart attack inducing breakfast at CrackWhore Barrel, we were off tromping through the beautiful undeveloped wilds of North Carolina.

Okay, okay, really we were barrelling up I-85 at really high speeds, with me swearing at other drivers and singing at the top of my lungs with whatever popped onto the Sirius, much to Mr. Manners dismay. Also to his dismay, the quality of the roads between our lovely home and our final destination left much to be desired. Oh, and the vast amount of troopers working the highway in Virgina was quite impressive? Why is it for lovers, again? Virigina seems to be a most oppressive state, after all. Not the place for pda, and that sort of thing. You keep all that happiness at home, you here?

We've arrived safe in our mystery destination. We're in our hotel (after much swearing, and an hour of driving around lost because I, yes, perfect, wonderful, darling, Saint Eliza who really, really loves to drive around in a city she hasn't been to in forever in the twilight on a Friday in traffic with no sense of where she really is trying to navigate off a map that's about 3 x 5 after obtaining sets of directions from one nice gas station attendant of possible Pakistani origin and the nice concierge at hotel).

For once, I'm actually thanking William Shatner. We scored a lovely hotel in Downtown D.C. (AHA! Revealed, At Last! The Game is Afoot!), a half mile from the White House (here's hoping no one decides this is the time for a biological attack). The room is....well....dope. The bed is huge, and it looks comforting after such a long-ass drive. The pillows look fluffy and awfully inviting (you know, like sweatpants and the possibility of just ordering a pizza at the end of a long day). The all marble bathroom is deadly (oh, the shower was marvelous). Nice big tv, the room is bigger than my bedroom, the lights are just fabu, the location can't be beat, it's quiet, you can't hear the neighbors, and all in all it's wonderful....

Except...

For one...

Tiny...

Teeny....

Thing....

There is no free internet.

Bastards!!!!

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad

2008-09-10T23:04:00.003-04:00

Every year, on September 11, I take however old I am, add two years, and start subtracting, and that's how long my parents have been married. I have an inability to remember the date of their marriage, because it happened before I was born. :-)

At least, I think my math is right.

Maybe.

Happy Anniversary, mom and dad. Even if that does make this your....holy crap....thirty six year anniversary?

2008-09-10T21:48:00.003-04:00

You can judge my age by my sartorial choice, I've discovered.

When I was a young lass, my fashion choice lent itself to KMart, the thrift store, and whatever I could scrounge from both my aunt's attics. Anything that could be assembled into what I thought could pass muster as an eclectic outfit, perhaps one seen in one of those women's magazine's that hung on the check out rack at the Ingles. I knew I couldn't pull off trendy (that I couldn't afford until high school, when we got a Chess King at the mall)...so I had to settle for some kind of weird boho look. Also, someone had given me one of those eyeshadow pallettes as a Christmas gift, and I thought it a massive idea to wear several different colors in a vertical stripe. Yeah.

A personal Cyndi Lauper moment.

So now, rather than moan to Mr. Manners the familiar refrain "I'm SOOOOO old" each time I reach into the mailbox only to toss into the recyling bin yet another magazine filled with clothing for the Paris Hilton wannabe set, I've discovered that the very set of catalogs I've poo pooed (my, doesn't that look odd in print, and spelled that way) are wonderous indeed!

Things like....Pendleton...yes, I've fallen in love with Pendleton. Those lovely plaids! Whereas Boston Proper has been evicted. I'm afraid the half naked, yachting in San Tropez lifestyle isn't in the plans this year (read: ever).

Vicky's Secret has been marginal for quite some time. All this buzz about revamping their product line hasn't led to much change. And I've always, on the practical side of things, been an lllBean girl.

Who doesn't like to sneak a peak at the ridiculous world of high fashion now and then? I read the paper, I look at the magazines. I shop on BlueFly. Chloe, Stella McCartney, Marc Jacobs, Sophie Theallet, Oscar, Betsey Johnson, Halston, Sarafpour....and you wonder what ends up being diluted into our stores, months later. Does that ridiculous feathered monstrosity of a hat, for example, end up anywhere?

Ah, but it's fun to watch, and to think that some fool somewhere and some money are being parted.

Still, if a nice Chanel or a fanciful Lacroix magically appeared, I wouldn't turn them down.

2008-09-10T13:26:00.002-04:00

I had meant to blog about some poor sportsmanship witnessed at last night's game, or the hilarity of the mutant flying grasshoppers with their own snowboarding line and show on ESPN, or what a great time we had last night at the game.

But I no longer feel like it.

Circa 1974, 1975, sometime back before I blogged!

2008-09-09T13:46:00.009-04:00

If the timestamp on the photos that TheRedBaron (the other family names are a dead give away, and The Pilot sounds like a book that should be written about the wife of a missing sea captain and set in the 1800's....wait, maybe that's ALREADY a book) sent to me is correct, I would have been two.

I think, though, that I'm just a twinkle at this stage.

Aren't my parents cute?

And dig my dad's pants! Superfly!

As children, we used to sit on the back patio at my grandparent's house (contained in the photo's) and have oyster shucking parties. I won't bore you and tell you why I detest oysters, but it has to do with being made to swallow one nasty snot tasting oyster when very small after begging (momspeak: whining) for one (momspeak: repeatedly and loudly while out to eat, I'm sure). But as a small children, we loved to crack open those shells and run them to the adults to eat. With a beer, and saltines, and tobasco...of course. The shells would go in the big back yard, somewhere out near the bench swing, to eventually become overgrown with ivy.

That was the best house anyone in this family has ever owned. It was just flat out cool. It had a laundry chute that went to the basement (that we small children contemplated sliding down...I mean, it was three stories, and had the unmeasureable allure of the forbidden). The chute itself was near a Monet print of three horses; once, I thought I heard the horses speak and became convinced the hallway was haunted (although in retrospect someone was yelling in the basement and it carried up the chute). The basement itself was dark and spooky. The light, if I remember correctly, was only on the landing, so there was always a spot in your journey that was quite frightening as a child. Grandmom always had windchimes hanging from the light hanging in the open foyer, and the front formal living room always contained the leather chairs and granddaddy's bookcases and birds. The best room was the den off the garage, with it's wall of windows covered with tiny wooden shutters. That room ROCKED.

2008-09-09T10:59:00.002-04:00

Nothing to report, really. It's raining again here in Roswell, rather nice, actually. I'm so aware of how much work we'll be missing by taking this trip, and how behind we'll be by taking this trip, that the pressure to enjoy ourselves will be immense, and I feel like we shouldn't be going at all! Silly, yes? Ah, the joys of the classic overthink.

The handwashing thing is getting a bit tiresome. After receiving a $200 water bill, I've come to the conclusion we use way too much water. I've tried to make my showers (yes, plural, I take two a day) shorter, and don't just let the water run all the time. I NEVER let the water run while I'm brushing my teeth anyway, but I don't just let it run while I'm doing dishes either. I make a nice rinse pile and then do it all at once. MUUUUCCCCHHHHHH neater. Still, we have four leaks right now, in various ways. The upstairs tub leaks from the faucet, the downstairs tub leaks from the faucet, the kitchen sink has a ghost leak, and the pool pump has a leak as well.

Aren't I just the responsible little water conservationist?

And I also want to put in a rain barrel.

And I'm waiting for the last appliance that I haven't replaced (please note that this will be the second time I have replaced a dishwasher in my house that eats appliances) to die (waterheater - have now jinxed self), I'd also LOVE to put in one of those tankless jobs, but those cost real money (opposed to...say...Monopoly Money?). Not on the list for this house.

I could buy a new dishwasher. I could run to Lowe's tonight, and have a new dishwasher installed when we get back from the trip. I refuse to do it. Flat out. I will wash dishes until my god damn hands fall off. I am not buying another appliance this year for that house. Not doing it. Read my lips. No more new taxes. I do not care that it adds another hour to my evening chore list, or means that dinner is an hour later, or that I go to bed that much later each night. I am not spending one more damn dime of my hard earned money on another thing for the house to eat.

Also, as I was putting my bags in the car this morning, our neighbor (whom I didn't see in his driveway) decided the surprise ambush attack was best.

"I sure do wish y'all had been more careful dropping that tree and not mangled my bushes".

"I sure am sorry about that, Jack. I'm pretty sure we didn't deliberately drop that one big branch on your azaleas on purpose, we thought it would go one way, and it thought it would go another. I'm awfully sorry about your bushes".

"Ok".

As Mr. Manners pointed out, said azaleas haven't been raked out or trimmed in several years. We did clean up the mess we made, and quietly. We trimmed the branches off the good things we clobbered, and cleaned up ALL the debris we left. I think Jack is just sore because he probably liked that tree's one big branch going over his driveway, and didn't want us to take it out.

He will probably like it less when we remove all those trees in the island where the mailbox is, and there's nothing there but bushes. I don't need a ratty island separating the two houses that is full of sixty pine trees that are fifty feet tall and twelve or fourteen hardwoods. Cut down all those pines, and let the hardwoods grow. You know, we have all this land between us, and he doesn't even keep the stuff that's visible from the street clean?

2008-09-08T17:50:00.002-04:00

Handing out the new job title, promotion and increase quite offset my earlier bad temper. I am rather pleased with what I've done. I got a hug, and an enormous thank you.

Blushes.

Aw, shucks!

2008-09-08T11:24:00.003-04:00

I almost just had the worst explosion of temper at work that I've had in forever. It almost resulted in the throwing of a shoe, or my blackberry, and nearly everything on my desk in a fit of anger directed at someone thousands of miles away who just managed to make light (in two little words, no less) of a difficult situation with an employee that has been causing me agita for several months.

And rather than provide me guidance, or offer advice, or do what bosses are supposed to do and boss, that little MF is flippant, and pissed me off so much that yet again I am floored that I was bypassed in favor of him.

Because:

"Eliza requires too much hand holding to be one of your direct reports".

2008-09-06T23:32:00.002-04:00

You've no idea how I appreciate spending Saturday nights outside, working in the twilight.

Tonight, we discovered we've a hoot owl (and a rather large one at that) using our woods as a hunting grounds.

We watched a beautiful storm cloud blow through as we took down two more pines.

I've never been one to want to be indoors on the weekend. I can't stand to sit around and visit; but let me go outside and give me something to do and I'm as content as can be.

2008-09-05T14:15:00.002-04:00

Today, I feel like a fairy godmother.

I'm going to get to promote someone to a salaried position; this poor girl has been working to be promoted from an hourly to a salaried position for three years. I've been in this job for two, and every chance I've had I've pushed her up the pike.

Now I have a position for her, and everyone has finally signed off.

I can't wait to put the offer letter in her hand on Monday!!!!!

I'm so excited!

2008-09-04T16:49:00.002-04:00

These days are far and few between, but sometimes moments happen that make me realize that I do indeed love my job:

On an earlier conference call our VP sneezed, and my boss, evidently sitting next to him in the room, said "bless you".

Followed two seconds later by "dude, NO WAY!"

My VP just snotted on my boss.

Hah!

2008-09-03T21:13:00.002-04:00

Democracy has come to this, our finest hour:

Two things to mention:

- former beauty queen

- member of the party who is famous for wanting Alaska to secede.

Squeeze is Up The Junction!

2008-09-03T15:03:00.000-04:00

Yet again, another brilliant reminder of why Squeeze is a great and yet underrated band (get outside "Coffee in Bed" and "Tempted", would ya?):

"I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from clapham
Out on a windy common
That night I ain't forgotten
When she dealt out the rations
With some or other passions
I said you are a lady
Perhaps she said I may be
We moved into a basement
With thoughts of our engagement
We stayed in by the telly
Although the room was smelly
We spent our time just kissing
The railway arms were missing
But love had got us hooked up
And all our time it took up

I got a job with Stanley
He said I'd come in handy
And started me on monday
So I had a bath on sunday
I worked eleven hours
And bought the girl some flowers
She said she'd seen a doctor
And nothing now could stop her

I worked all through the winter
The weather brass and bitter
I put away a tenner
Each week to make her better
And when the time was ready
We had to sell the telly
Late evenings by the fire
With little kicks inside her

This morning at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another

And now she's two years older
Her mother's with a soldier
She left me when my drinking
Became a proper stinging
The devil came and took me
From bar to street to bookie
No more nights by the telly
No more nights nappies smelling

Alone here in the kitchen
I feel there's something missing
I'd beg for some forgiveness
But begging's not my business
And she won't write a letter
Although I always tell her
And so it's my assumption
I'm really up the junction"

You know, everytime I listen to this song, even though it's fictional, I really feel sorry for the guy when he sings "I'd beg for some forgiveness/but begging's not my business". And I am fond of the turn of phrase "the devil came and took me/from bar to street to bookie".

Also see "Take Me I'm Yours" and "Cool for Cats".

2008-09-02T11:27:00.003-04:00

No, I'm not blogging about Sarah Palin's daughter. Of course I have an opinion on the subject, and the opinion is this:

Her daughter isn't running for office.

I won't say anything snide about the effectiveness of promoting abstinence only education programs in schools in Alaska either, I promise.

(but I am giggling a little)

It's a hard life Ms. Palin has chosen for herself.

2008-09-02T10:16:00.000-04:00

You can never be too rich or too thin.

And if you aren't ever going to be rich, settle for thin!

2008-09-01T21:42:00.002-04:00

The "Save Katie Holmes" Campaign is planning to appear at her Broadway debut of "All My Sons" in October.

They claim they want to draw attention to the evils of Scientology, oh, and if they can rescue Katie, how awesome for them, right?

I confess, I'm torn here. I still think Tom Cruise is only famous for one thing: playing Tom Cruise. One can't even argue that the man is talented or sane, because I don't think he's either. And I'll never forgive him, in the way all Hollywood marriages spill out across the lanes of the Publix and over the gossip columns on the internet like so much overheard talk in the mall, for being so damn mean to Nicole. Sunday Rose. What an elegant little rebuttal indeed.

Katie, Katie, Katie. What on earth is this child doing? She alternately looks miserable or out of her mind doped up on some kind of Scientology gruel. Is it really true that if she opt for divorce, she loses custody of her daughter? Who would agree to that?

Scientology really is a cult. An alien in a mountain indeed.

2008-09-01T19:26:00.001-04:00

Much earlier today I had a Bloody Mary.

I know, I know. It was one of those rare occurences, lunar in nature, that must have prompted me to actually have a drink but Mr. Manners made it for me, and it was rather tasty, and not too spicy, and not too tomato-y, and just right, so down it went.

Suddenly, I was tipsy. It wasn't even noon. I'm rather shocked at myself. I do somewhat too fondly recall, I think, the anesthesizing nature of alcohol. It would have been right pleasant to slide back into a nap.

I've long since learned, though, that stopping at one means that life remains pleasant. Stopping at two is borderline, and stopping at three is asking for God to come and punch you really hard in the left temple, while kicking you in the stomach simultaneously...just...better not do that.

Still, it was mighty tasty.

2008-08-31T20:04:00.000-04:00

Ah, nothing to report, other than the fact it turned out to be much hotter today than I expected.

Still, Mr. Manners and I powered through, and cleaned up all the debris left by Fay, and with the help of Mr. Manner's brother, yanked down one very large pine tree. Perhaps three or four more will come down next week, after we borrow a chainsaw.

All in all, a very tiring weekend. I've just finished the paper and fed the dogs; it's only eight p.m. and I swear I'm ready for bed. See the exciting and fabulous life I lead?

2008-08-29T15:34:00.000-04:00

If you haven't been reading the final chapters of Lynn William's comic "For Better or For Worse", you really should go check them out.

These last two weeks of strips have been especially poignant.

Go and see them: http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/

Sorry, I'm having problems with blogger again and don't remember (also see: too lazy) to look up the html to embed a link.

2008-08-29T09:10:00.000-04:00

Spoiler Alert (if you read Karin Slaughter or Tami Hoag....you know who you are, so stop here!)

I just finished the last Karin Slaughter paperback.

I'm heartbroken. She killed off a major character whom we've all come to know and love despite their many faults. Not in a soap opera, oh my god they can come back in the next novel kind of way, but in a holy shit, they-really-died-kind of way.

But...in a positive note, were I Ms. Slaughter, there is an excellent plot hook buried in the interaction between said dead character and said dead character's spouse that just screams to be developed in the next novel.

The Tami Hoad was one of those modern day/olden day story in a story novels. I like her regular novels about the forensic pathologist and the detective. Chick crime novels. Like Scarpetta but not as overblown as those have become in recent years.

Now I'm onto more serious literature. I'll let you know how those turn out.

2008-08-28T20:58:00.000-04:00

So...the other day, I read that Americans can't cook.

Imagine that.

Evidently, grocery store sales of ready made meals are suffering, as are the sales of restaurants. Ready made meals are more expensive, so people are passing those up in favor of making things themselves (and bypassing eating out). Like, from scratch. With real vegetables, dude, and like, meat and stuff that you have to touch with your hands, and it's like ewwwwww grosss! nastttyyyyyy!

You know, Mr. Manners and I both regularly make things from scratch. We never buy prepared meals. We order chinese or eat sushi once in a while. We do eat out at lunch, but try to keep that healthy (no fast food ever). So I'm flabbergasted that someone doesn't know how to make a biscuit, or can't make their own marinara sauce, or a burrito, or a pot roast, or toss together a spice rub for a pork loin, or make chili, or make soup, or stuff and roast a chicken, or make stuffing, or make a cake without a mix, or make muffins, or make salad dressing, or their own mashed potatoes or macaroni (ok, I admit to cheating on this one, but I confess that we add tuna, a jalo, and real cheese, and dill).

And while cooking during the week annoys me because I feel as though I'm under this enormous time constraint, cooking on the weekend can be a luxurious event to be enjoyed with good music and an occasional glass of wine.

When you learn to enjoy cooking from scratch, learn to grow your own herbs....

:-)

I am my Grandfather's Granddaughter

2008-08-28T20:52:00.003-04:00

Tonight is perfect. The air is clear, courtesy of Fay. The sky is blue, and full of birds wheeling and swooping in search of a full belly. Full of song.

One can almost consider those things you remember hearing about from your childhood (but can't quite recall doing).

Hayrides. Bobbing for apples. Bonfires. Apple Festivals. Harvest Moons.

That sort of thing.

Early autumn!

Just because

2008-08-28T09:29:00.001-04:00

From: "PROFESSOR CHARLES C. SOLUDO"
The above "From:" address may be forged. Save Address Reminder

Subject: Diplomatic Courier Service
Date: Sunday, August 24, 2008 7:14:25 PM [View Source]

From the Desk Of:
Prof Charles Soludo
Executive Governor (CBN)
IMMEDIATE PAYMENT
REF: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/009
[OFFICE OF THE GOVERNOR]
DIRECT LINE:+234-803-926-7386
E-mail: prof_charles_2001@live.com

We have this 2008 received a payment credit instruction from the federal
Government of Nigeria to credit your account with your full contract funds from
the Nigerian reserve account with our bank. This is to notify you that you funds
has been programmed for immediate release into your nominated account but we can
not transfer this funds direct to your nominated bank account, because we are
having a little problem with International Monetary Fund (IMF) so our method of
payment is by Diplomatic Courier Service Be inform that every arrangement
regarding your cash payment through diplomatic services has been made; note
that your funds have been package like a consignment.

Be informing that the Diplomatic Agency has to move down to your Country in
order to deliver the Consignment to your doorstep.Note that as soon as the
Diplomatic arrive to your Country they will give you a call immediately to
enable you help them to get (Yellow Tag Paper).

You have to help the diplomats to get (yellow Tag Paper) so that the customs and
immigration will not stop them in Airport, for security reason you are advice to
follow the rules and regulation of the diplomats for easy collection of the
consignment, you have to welcome the diplomatic agent, to enable them deliver
the Consignment to you immediately, be inform that as soon as the diplomatic
obtain the above name certificate they will deliver the Consignment to your door
step.

To remind you that the diplomats has a transit to united state and finally to
arrive at your Country as the last destination on their diplomatic travel route
this week,I want you to send your direct mobile phone and your home address to
me immediately, so that as soon as the diplomatic arrive in State they will call
you immediately to notify you. call me immediately.

Your Full Name: ______________________________
Your Complete Address (Physical Address with Zip Code not
P.O.BOX) : ______________________________
Your Age________________________
Name of City of Residence:_______________________________
Country:____________________________________
Direct Telephone Number:____________________________________
Mobile
Number:____________________________________
Number:___________________________________
Occupation:________________________________
E - Mail______________________________

PROFESSOR CHARLES C. SOLUDO,
GOVERNOR, CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN)
NOTE: RESPONSE SHOULD BE MADE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE IT WILL BE TOO LATE
DIRECT LINE:+234-803-926-7386
E-mail: pcbn_2003@rocketmail.com

There Will Be Lemons

2008-08-27T15:53:00.003-04:00

I am still, hours later, quite angry.

I'm telling you people:

There will be flying lemons very shortly if you do not stop your egregious abuse of the keyboard.

2008-08-27T11:57:00.003-04:00

More proof, as if it were needed, that dogs rock.

A fifteen pound, New Jersey cockapoo (I know, I don't believe that's a real dog either) treed two bear cubs by viciously barking at them incessantly because they were trespassing in the dog's backyard. Pawlee barked at the bears until they went up the tree, and kept barking until the bears came back down the tree and over the fence.

Even bears can't take that incessant shrill barking!

2008-08-27T10:20:00.003-04:00

In fact, even better: I'm not editing your comments anymore. Anything that you want to publish will now just print straight on this page, misspellings, bad grammar, and all. So please stop using real names, printing emails, etc. You are now on your own.

Perceptions

2008-08-27T09:31:00.004-04:00

I think it's funny that people think I am well off. Perceptions are a bitch, aren't they?

Yes, I earn a good wage. I won't lie about that. I have a house, and a car, and a pool, and two dogs. I take trips. From the outside looking in, I suppose it looks pretty good, doesn't it?

Let me ask you an honest question - do you think I actually get to enjoy the fruits of my labor? Do you think I actually enjoy owning a home? Or having a pool?

Let's talk about that pool. That albatross. That pool has cost me, since I bought the house, about $6000 in maintenance and repair. I have gone swimming in that pool about...six times. That means on average each swim costs $1,000. It is not that I do not enjoy swimming; it is that the pool represents yet another chore that needs to be done before anything can be enjoyed.

The house is much the same way. It was a bad investment, although I did not know it when I purchased it. Something is always broken. Thank you for your concern, but I spend several thousand dollars each year repairing something that breaks, be it a blown bus (whatever that is) or a leaking pipe or an air conditioning unit (not something one can live without in Dixie). I do not discuss it with the family at large, and unlike other people in this family I have the luxury of a having a decent job (for now) so I do not have to ask other people to pay for my mistakes.

Do I need to underline the last part of that sentence for you?

Right.

Now, you will have to forgive me. The day is long. After we have put in a full day at work, and arrived home at six thirty or seven, and weather permitting I have walked the girls...and then it's time to work on school work, and then make dinner, and then do laundry, and perhaps watch some television, and clean a bit, and then off to bed. If I am lucky, this is eleven. It is usually twelve thirty, and back up at six thirty. This means that when I have free time, or entertain, I like people to come to me because my time I so limited, I like to make the most of it. Is that selfish? You bet your sweet bippy it is! All of you in blogland know about the disasterous family/work weekend a few weeks ago - unfortunately, that is not as rare as one might think. That is what a normal work DAY (even at night) can be like.

Trips...let's see. Mr. Manners and I have taken two trips this year that were not work related. We went to New Orleans, and we went to Charlotte for Kim's wedding. Orlando, Daytona and Destin were all trips where we worked. Yes, I do manage to work remotely when we travel, and I do help Mr. Manners some when he works (a very little). Those are not trips for pleasure (please note that for the Destin trip the bathing suit was not even needed). We are going to go on a road trip soon, a ROAD TRIP, requiring me to be in the car, driving, the two activities I despise the most, because we cannot afford to do anything different.

My EXTREME apologies if I don't fit into the image of what a you think I ought to be. Why don't you walk in my shoes? Come walk in my life? Get up every day, go to work, pay my bills, have my debt, my mortgage, my obligations, and my required level of normalcy?

Now, you've really pissed me off. You can all knock it off, or there is going to be so serious radio silence. I mean it.

Love and Kisses,

Eliza

2008-08-25T22:23:00.002-04:00

This year's almanac claims it will be an unusually harsh (hallelujah) winter in most of the United States.

We here in Dixie like cold winters. We don't get them often, but they do fabulous things like kill mosquitos. Of course, they also do bad things like kill peach crops in Florida. But somehow I think there are fewer and fewer peach crops in Florida these days. I suspect that might be a relic of my childhood, like working strawberry farms in North Carolina.

Of course, our idea of a cold winter is a Thanksgiving or Christmaswhere the high hovers around an overcast sixty two, with a slight breeze. It might even be a bit...balmy, depending on whether we are under the influence of some spent high pressure system, or lolling about under some low pressure system sneaking up from the coast.

It might even...sleet in January. Followed by one to two inches of snow in February, which would cause utter panic in the city. Every single slice on Sunbeam bread, milk, and beer (even PBR!!!) will evaporate from store shelves as the city readies itself for a blizzard of Hollywoodian proportions.

Once in a great while, we get a wallop. A real blizzard. A real ice storm or two. I recall one in the seventies that was very bad for the city. I also seem to recall reading about one at the turn of the century, and another one in the forties that knocked the city for a loop.

I myself am hoping for a real fall and real winter. I don't think I'm going to be disappointed. Doesn't it already feel like sweater weather to you? Maybe it's the remnants of the hurricane, but I swear (oh, I know I mentioned this before) I'm ready to whip out the ole fireplace and start a fire, just because it's gray and nasty outside.

Hot chocolate, anyone?

2008-08-25T17:05:00.001-04:00

In the interests of fairness (Mr. Manchester)

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/08/24/mccain-camps-overplaying-of-pow-card-called-to-account-from-all-corners/?icid=200100397x1208039294x1200456964)

I never said he didn't overplay that card. It's part of who he is. And you see they make my point for me about his infidelity - I didn't say he was a great, moral man. I'm not electing a preacher, I'm electing a man who can defend the country if called upon to do so.

And I don't think Obama can defend the country.

2008-08-25T16:04:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to YOU!

Happy Birthday dear LEGO,

Happy thirtieth Birthday to you!

My favorite childhood toy is thirty years old today. My, how time flies!

PocketBook Economics

2008-08-25T13:44:00.003-04:00

It's also not about who looks good on camera, who is the best orator, or who is the sexiest.

It's about who is best qualified for the job, based on a certain set of criteria.

Only you can be the judge.

And hell, the American public does such a good job electing their represented officials, I'm sure you all will do a fine job electing your next president. I'm sure you won't mind if I sit this one out (voting record: Clinton, Clinton, Gore, Kerry...and now McCain).

(Let's see in terms of economics, did well under the two Clinton terms, did ok under the first Bush term, and have sucked doozle under the Second Bush Term...so....).

But we all vote with our pocketbooks, don't we? We're in a recession, and the affluence we have enjoyed for the last decade has evaporated like one of your overpriced Starbuck's coffees left sitting on the dashboard of your overpriced SUV while you idle in rush hour traffic cursing $3.75/gas. Everyone wants change. Yeah, I do too...and not the kind I dig out of a jar each morning to take to work for snacks. I want real, material change. I want the government to shut up and stop rooting around in my couch cushions. I want the government to shut up and stop talking about things that are none of their damn business (like what goes on in my house, for example, or my bedroom, or my doctors office, or my hospital room). I want the government to NOT be able to get wiretaps without court approval (or gone snooping into someone's bank accounts, internet activity, personal life); and if they do go to such extremes, I want there to be legal penalties. I do not want government sponsorship or backing of the banking industry (in fact, I want the recent changes to bankruptcy laws granting favorable protections to banks and credit card firms repealed). I want the government to look at the laws of the land from the eyes of the consumer, and not from the eyes of PAC money (there's an idea!).

What is wrong with making your government accountable?

As a citizen, if you don't pay your income taxes (and earn an income) you go to jail. Accountability to the government, and to your fellow citizenry right there in a nutshell.

What makes the government accountable to us?

Do you honestly think changing elected officials every few years is in any way, shape or form a system that enforces accountability?

My final note: I could not vote for Hillary. As someone who has always considered herself a lifelong feminist and well acquainted with the history of the women's suffrage and liberation movements, as well as someone who has worked in a male dominated industry for...well, suffice it to say, years....Hillary is exactly the kind of woman I can't stand working with. Simply: you don't have to be a ball busting bitch to get ahead. She had a great platform, and some good points (although if you've been reading long enough, you know my thoughts on universal healthcare which is that all able bodied adults ought to have jobs) on education and domestic spending in particular resonated with me. But...but...but....she sounded shrill. You don't have to pretend to be a man to win. As a woman, I can't stand women who go that route. And I don't have to vote for another woman just because she's a woman candidate (Geraldine) OR because I happen to have ovaries. Sorry, everyone, but the ovaries do NOT trump the ole brain.

So do what everyone else does. I've said this once, twice, a million times: whenever the American public doesn't have faith in the lame duck, and the economy is weak....we have an exciting election year. We vote with our wallets. Whomever wins the election will determine whether or not retailers have a good holiday season, which will in turn determine how fast or how slowly we come out of this recession. You think I'm joking? The power of the consumer to spend or save us into oblivion seems so tiny, but it's all about confidence...in your leaders, in your economy, in your jobs, in your self.

So: Pocketbook Economics.

$$$$$$$$$$$

2008-08-25T11:05:00.002-04:00

I've been asked why I'm voting for McCain, and I'll sum it up for you:

In a world where Putin (make no mistake, he still controls Russia) feels like he can invade other nations at will, and really there are no reprisals....

In a world where other nations develop nuclear weapons because they can...

In a world full of Kim Jong Il's, Robert Mugabe's, borderless and landless terrorist cell networks....

In a world where fortunes rise and evaporate at the click of a button....

In a world where some idiot can unleash a bio weapon on some kids at a mall just because he can...

I want someone who has been in the darkest places known to man and is not afraid of the consequences of his actions. I want someone who is not afraid to give the executive order to send planes scrambling if a plane full of explosives or people dreaming of however many sacrificial virgins is flying towards a specified target. I want someone who is not afraid to use force to do the right thing; I want someone who is also not afraid to stand there and say "it's not right for me to leave my friends, so I am going to stay put". McCain understands both force and diplomacy. Obama only understands talking; he's only ever had to whip out his mastercard to defend himself.

And honestly, I think McCain is the guy. Yeah, he's old. And it was a savvy move of Obama to pick Biden. He sure does have some smart advisors. No, I don't think Obama is a Muslim. I don't care about his church (although his minister/ex minister is, I suppose, the black version of a holy roller). I don't care about his wife, or his kids. Are they running for president?

So...my short list?

Foreign experience? (foreign policy, participation in the U.N., relationship with other governments, Security Council, NATO, engagements in military expeditions abroad, etc)

Fiscal experience? (see below)

Domestic policy? (economy, taxation, social security, medicare)

Constitutional Rights (2nd amendment, free speech, states rights)

2008-08-24T16:58:00.002-04:00

Oh yeah, I got one more for you:

What a great family man Obama is! He has all this wealth, this abundance of prosperity....

And yet he has family languishing in poverty half the world away.

Hm.

If the parties are going to insist on peddling the wholesome image thing instead of someone's actual qualifications....

2008-08-24T16:44:00.002-04:00

Atlanta resident Ross Deadwyler today made what should be, if the law worked as it should, a fatal decision.

Deadwyler bit an Atlanta Police Officer, and immediately disclosed to said officer that he was HIV positive.

This, to me, is the same as discharging a loaded firearm. You don't know if you are going to hit someone. This poor officer doesn't know if he will become infected or not.

Deadwyler is currently charged with two counts of aggravated battery, aggravated assault, speeding to elude plus one count each felony obstruction and improper equipment.

I only hope that if the officer becomes infected the tally of charges becomes one more - murder.

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2008/08/24/officer_bitten_hiv.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab

The ShamWow Dude Must Die

2008-08-24T00:19:00.003-04:00

I have developed yet another pathological hatred for a late night infomercial spokesidiot.

The ShamWow Dude.

"Are you getting this, Camera Guy?" Mr. Manners likes to walk around saying that because he knows how horridly annoying it is.

He has the spiky hair, the skinny nerdy look, with I do believe some sort of ear piece to make him look techy, and he talks so fast you just know you are being conned into something.

"I just can't live without 'em".

I especially like his appeal to your image of yourself - you know, buy an extra one for your car, your RV, your boat. Those luxury items you have that you spend lots of time cleaning and drying by hand.

There was even a second rate ShamWow Dude at BuckARama; complete with fake hightlighted hair and everything.

He's almost as annoying as Dual Action Cleanse.

But what could be more annoying that constantly talking about nine feet of shit?

2008-08-23T18:39:00.002-04:00

Fay has brought some interesting weather to Atlanta. It's overcast, and warm, and windy. It looks like it ought to be cool outside, brisk even, but it isn't. The mugginess in the air makes you think it's about to rain any single moment, and yet I have watered my plants because they've begun to wilt. Go figure.

So: road trip it is. I won't tell you where we're going, but it's going to be an adventure.

2008-08-21T20:36:00.002-04:00

I blame the printing press.

You heard me. The printing press. Why else would we be literally inundated with such bad writing daily? There wouldn't be a market for fifteen John Grisham books. You know, Shakespeare isn't really a classic because he's such a fabulous writer. He's a classic because he wrote in a difficult style, and he wrote a lot. Given that bookmaking was a pretty laborious process at that point in history, the fact that his words remain today says a lot about their popularity. Everyone who could read would have had a copy, like people today...read the comics. Or Stephen King. Get it? Shakespeare wrote as a populist writer, just like Dickens did when he began the concept of serialization. So people who couldn't write more than one book, really, or if they were really on a roll two or three suddenly became GREAT CLASSICAL WRITERS because they got some chapters in print once upon a time in history and got lucky.

Obviously, I do not find much merit in the works of Dickens (but I am quite fond of Shakespeare, in my limited exposure...I can appreciate the complexity of writing reams upon reams of freaking rhyming narrative dialog. Plus, he does some awesome evil villians. Even if his historical depiction is factually incorrect ala Richard III).

I remember reading The Count of Monte Cristo as a child (I think I can be forgiven for mistaking the flamboyance of the French with brilliance) and thinking I'd made a brilliant discovery!! Such an inspired writer. Oooh laaa laaa. And then I read The Three Musketeers and Twenty Years After, and realized that they were...disappointing formula! Drivel! Standard and repeatable! Downtrodden, I took four valium, put on my second best Burberry coat, fully stone laden, and swanned off down to the Thames to do my best Chav tastic dive.

That kind of standard and repeatable. The one that makes you go; ok, the second Bridget Jones was actually...not good. At one stage, you enjoy it like comfort food. As a teenager, Barbara Cartland's were like grilled cheese and tomato soup.

So I blame the printing press. Without it, and certainly without this lovely tool that allows me to abuse it daily (dear, sweet internet), writers that we all would certainly otherwise would consider to be brilliant and inspired will continue to write lost past their creative expiration dates.

2008-08-21T14:24:00.001-04:00

Another one of life's persistent questions:

Why do people who can't swim get in the water?

Why I don't care about the Olympics

2008-08-21T13:58:00.003-04:00

I'm here to make an announcement.

No, I'm not running for President.

No, I'm not pregnant, or getting married, or quitting my job.

Nor did I win the lottery.

I'm here to say: I hate the Olympics.

Why?

I'll respond by asking a question. Why do you watch? It's not like this is a real athletic competition that Sue from Podunk can win by practicing running long distances out in the country after she finishes her homework; no, people who participate in the Olympics are the products of the sports entertainment industry. Their job is to find talent, to find children, youth, and young adults with talent, speed and agility and introduce them to other people, coaches, trainers, backers who can introduce them to the wide world of international competition. It's not an honest, friendly rivalry between nations to see who produces the better athlete - all the athletes, regardless of country, look like they were raised in a field somewhere (let's see....I think the Chinese will do well if I plant them next to the Americans, while the Brazilians will do best if they aren't paired with the Italians).

Whatever happened to honest sportsmanship? Real competition? I just can't get excited about watching sports on a box.

Get rid of the fireworks, the teleprompter, the sponsorships, and all the artsy fartsy shit. It's nice that China went and built a big bunch of nice buildings for the Olympics. So...what did they do with all the people who lived in the shacks and tenements they tore down? What did they do with all that immigrant labor they allowed into the country to build the new stadia? And don't you want to go to a country where every third sign says "No Foreigners Allowed"? Nice place you got here!

And in a lot of ways, the constant media hype feels like a deliberate misdirect; the economy sucks, the dollar is in the crapper, our international reputation stinks, we're overrun with illegal immigrants who are putting a strain on our already burdened economy, we've got the government releasing (quietly) folks out of Gitmo saying they possibly made "mistakes", we've got what looks like (from my arm chair) a rise in crime of all sorts, unemployment is up, the fools at the Federal Reserve Bank have pulled their thumbs out of their tails long enough to discover that really, indeed, they are covered in crap, we're in a war we will never, ever win with people who will just despise us in twenty years if they don't already. Healthcare stinks, and is unaffordable (case in point: a month's supply of my migraine preventative without insurance is $400. There is no generic. Go suck an egg. If I lost my job, I would just...suffer!). Gas is so expensive that folks want to go for ethanol, perhaps not realizing that the costs of anything that uses corn has now had a corresponding increase.

So yes, by all means:

Turn on your television and watch that Communist backed, fake drivel while your nation completely shits itself into becoming a third world country.

2008-08-20T21:20:00.002-04:00

You know, Rosemary Beach sounded like a good idea, until I looked at the prices. Shocking!

Even the dumpy things at St. George and Mexico Beach are really frigging ridiculous, and in off season too! A freaking cinderblock SHACK on the beach that is nothing bigger than a...a....toilet rents in offseason for a thousand dollars. The nerve. The utter. nerve. I'm so distraught, I've lost the ability to punctuate. Or think lucidly on the subject. Oughtn't there to be some sort of nostalgic moratorium on beach rate rentals rising? Some weird sort of rent fixing like they do in New York...whatever it is in your childhood, it is through your adulthood. Ah, if only I could make that work!

If I thought I could talk him into it, we'd do a beach tour by tent (in some ways, I am my mother's daughter. I think NOTHING of public campgrounds as long as there is a hot shower and I can carry however unlawfully at the moment) of all the beaches up and down the coast. Car camp.

Interestingly, I have learned that if I wanted to, I could rent a converted chapel at an old abandoned village (now a converted fishing camp), a newly built town modeled entirely on the architecture of the Carribean (not the town itself, you understand, but an enormous amount of things within the town...expensive things), several condos with boat slips (and some with boats included! the trust people have!)

I hate it when my sense of capitalism and my sense of nostaliga collide. It hurts.

2008-08-20T13:54:00.005-04:00

No trip to the beach next month; we'll be staying home instead. I guess that solves the problem of what to do with the dogs while we're gone. We were offered the use of someone's house; I just feel odd about staying at a person's house while they are out of town (or while they are there, to be precise) if I'm not their sister or their daughter so I declined that offer (although it was quite nicely made). I also declined the offer of another work weekend (really, I hate my house every day when I go home and pull up in the driveway and am reminded of how really ugly my house is, how horrid the yard looks, and how embarassing my house looks right now?). And declined another offer to make a road trip elsewhere.

2008-08-19T17:02:00.002-04:00

Well, pooh!

It's time to say a sad goodbye to someone who is unplugging from our digital domain to pursue other opportunities.

So, SolarisGal, I've always enjoyed reading your comments here and there, and only lately (I'm always late to the party) your blog, but the blogosphere will miss you. Don't forget that you are an intelligent, witty, and articulate woman, and nothing in the world changes that :-)

Good luck, girl, you go!

2008-08-19T12:02:00.002-04:00

Peeling 'tots the other night, I was struck by how immensely popular movies about good versus evil are and how they find a home in our culture and become part of our vocabulary. Why? Name one good reason why nearly everyone in the U.S. has seen....the original (Yes, George Lucas, the prequels were shit) Star Wars Trilogy? Or Lord of the Rings? Or the Matrix?

These movies all feature a classic battle of good versus evil. We like to think that we have a monopoly on doing good things just because we can, just because we're human (research has shown that other species are motivated by what we would also describe as "charitable" acts - dogs and cats routinely adopt newborn animals abandoned by their parents and raise them, horses raise the horses of other parents, dolphins look after and protect the weaker members of the pod). We all want to think we are good, because we can't face the truth.

Evil isn't some alien invasion, some upwelling of artificial intelligence run awry machinery, some battle thick with spilled midoclorians, or some invading evil sorcerer looking to dominate the world.

It's the mother who kills her three year old, hides the body, and denies the crime.

It's the father who goes and gets planning permission to expand his basement, where he proceeds to rape and impregnate his daughter again and again over the course of twenty years.

It's the man who turns to his companion on the bus, and with no warning or provacation, slices off his head.

It's the police officer who shoots his wife to death, and then turns around to shoot to death a migrant worker he's hired for the day to frame him for the crime.

It's the man who strangles his wife, nearly full term pregnant with his first born son, and then tosses her body out into the ocean right before Christmas. Hey, asshole, I hope you are enjoying prison!

It's the man who has his wife murdered in front of his children because she was going to divorce him and expose his drug laundering activities.

It's the person who hits a six year old child and flees the scene, leaving the child to die.

Evil is much easier to deal with, to envision dealing with, with we give it an external focus, a name, and make it a big scary monster. Look at how heroic we are, lining up to go to our deaths as we fight the big evil alien invader; yet in contrast, look at how dumb we look, stepping in front of that homicidial maniac and trying to stop him.

These movies fascinate us, you see, because we can't bear to look under our own beds because we know the monster is, in fact, us. Bloody Mary, indeed.

I want to know when we stopped, as a society, trying to do the right thing. When did we become so enamoured of our homes as our castles that we stopped saying hello to our neighbors? We stopped talking to folks we saw on walks with our dogs? We stopped making idle chit chat with the bagger at the grocery store? If you saw something going wrong, would you step in? If you saw a crime in progress, would you call the police? Would you stop it?

2008-08-19T11:41:00.002-04:00

For those of you wondering if I've dropped off the face of the planet, no, I haven't.

It's just that time again, that time of the month when it's time to stop taking pills and allow myself the ultimate luxury of being walloped for three days with the greatest joy being a carrier of estrogen and progesterone will buy.

Fortunately, this month did not see vomiting (as have almost all other previous months of my life). This month has just seen a two day headache that will not really go away. Past experience has taught me that it will eventually, but sitting around in the batcave, in the dark, walking slowly lest I accidently raise my heartrate and cause my head to pound further has become slightly wearing upon my soul. I actually took yesterday as an actual sick day, because I did nothing other than answer an email or two. I'm out of my normal meds, should get some from the drugstore tonight, and I'm out of solpadeine! (the horror!) with it's terrible two week lead time (I ordered some last night). So this sounds nasty, but vicks under your eye, nose, an ice pack on your head, and a heating pad on my shoulders, and no movement?

Just the ticket.

Sorry, gang, that's not much of a post. I have things rattling around in my little head, but I'm not in the best shape at putting pen to paper.

Countdown to Navarre: 23 days!

Note: I have not begun packing. I regard this as real progress. However, I have found a new cooler that I wish to buy from L.L. Bean, because it's perfect...perfect for the beach. And I can't even carry the one we have now. It's broken anyway.

Who am I kidding...what do you think?

Daisy, Daisy Give Me Your Answer True

2008-08-15T23:53:00.001-04:00

A Maddy In The Sun

2008-08-15T23:46:00.003-04:00

2008-08-15T23:26:00.003-04:00

Ah, a fine week here in our great State of Georgia;

Only here would we not only claim Bigfoot's residency, but proceed to shoot him. Go figure.

Providing more proof that we are an enlightened state, a man in Lavonia is charged with holding his family hostage in a roach and filth ridden trailer for something like more than three years. Can you imagine not leaving a trailer for three years?

I'm waiting for someone to see Jesus in a pancake.

A Dream Realized

2008-08-15T10:02:00.002-04:00

Internet WonderWoman Heather Armstrong, of Dooce fame (I've the link below, you know) is featured in a lovely article in the NYTimes this morning having realized what is every bloggers dream:

Making enough money writing for an internet audience so that you can quit your job, and spend your days writing from your kitchen, in your pajamas, while raising an herb garden, and possibly a herd of alpacas around the mountain cabin you will be able to hopefully buy with your ridiculous earnings (if you haven't been on the Dooce site, their house is not shabby).

I wish!

2008-08-14T18:05:00.002-04:00

Here is your common sense wisdom for the day:

Nothing you get in the mail that offers to help you financially ever actually helps you.

And if it ever says "Congratulations!" in big bold letters, with exclamation marks and flashing thingies?

Straight into the bin.

At some point, you'll thank me for it.

2008-08-14T16:17:00.005-04:00

Somehow the memories I have of Great Aunt Dixie have all rolled into one sort of continuous memory. When I remember her, and I'm not holding that excellent book of poetry and children's stories one of her students gave her, that she later gave to me as an infant (and that still graces my bookshelves today full of my mother's commentary to me when I was but a wee one), all my memories center around holidays and death.

Perhaps they weren't even holidays, but they had that magical feel in my mind. We were, you see, going somewhere different. Somewhere strange. Somewhere that was not our house. Yes, very important facts in a small child's mind. Someone's house that had a cookoo? clock, and a snapping dog, and a silent smoking old lady who always played cards, and a candy dish that was verboten.

Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinners (sometimes the second or third meal we'd have eaten that day, as the extended family is all right in this area, or was until recent years....pity, that whole DEVOLUTION OF AMERICAN SOCIETY thing we have going on) were alway special. Great Aunt Dixie was the only person I knew my whole life who had one of those weird, white glowy pre lit trees. Now...considering that she had this tree back in 1978 (Sears and Roebuck? Service Merchandise?), I'm guessing it was worth a pretty penny...and it was fascinating to we girls of the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree Family Fame to see such artificial beauty in all it's glory.

The true charm of Dixie's house, really, was the aroma that hit your nose the minute you opened the porch door. You'd first notice it the minute you shoved the car door open with your foot; a slight tangy smell drifting down the hill (you could barely smell it underneath the smell of roasting turkey and marshmellows and carmelizing sweet potatoes). The closer you got to the front steps, the stronger and more flavorful it became...just there, as you neared the bones of the hydrangea (butter)...close to Dixie's porch ash tray (hmmm...pepper?)...through the front door and around the dog (oh my gosh...is that....pig?)...and into the kitchen, where the most wonderful, delicious of all the smells just assaults your nose:

Green beans.

I made some the other day, and it obviously took me back.

Dixie's Green Beans (dad?)

fresh green beans, snapped and soaked in cold water
pepper
salt
butter
ham or fatback

1. Boil water.

2. Add beans.

3. Reduce heat to simmer.

4. Toss in meat, cut into small pieces.

5. Pepper to taste (pinch..PINCH! of salt..beans are finicky, esp. greens, and ham or fatback carries enough salt on it's own...it will cook into the beans, so don't go hogwire).

6. Onion.

7. Butter.

8. Cook until the beans make you happy. (or about three hours on a low boil on my gas stove - watch the water level)

If you don't like fatback/ham/butter - use chicken stock. That is, in fact, the basic recipe for making any bean except some peas....And honestly, I throw all the beans and meat in, and then half of everything else...and season the rest of it twenty minutes before I'm ready to serve it (when I'm doing it the right way and not trying to slam something on the table).

By the way, I've added a new link. Much to my surprise, I'm on the Georgia BlogRoll for Georgia On My Mind....

2008-08-14T11:48:00.002-04:00

Here's a question for you:

I routinely reward my team out of my own pocket.

Some folks hold that taking them to lunch and paying for it myself is stupid.

My position is that it isn't their fault that our employer is stingy, and if I have the capital wherewithal to spring for lunch here and there, and they've earned it, I should reward them.

After all, Tyona used to do it for me when I worked for Suin'Sam; I always felt like I learned a good lesson (sometimes good things still happen for no apparent reason; followed by work doesn't always have to suck and; not all bosses are bad).

Thoughts? Am I an idiot for forking out my own cash? Or am I doing the right thing by making sure my people are happy and taken care of when my company wants to stiff them?

2008-08-13T17:29:00.002-04:00

I'm appalled that we live in a country where we actually have to pass legislation to outline what is humane and appropriate treatment for immigrants detained by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Are we treating these people like criminals just because they happened to be detained in a jail or prison?

Or are we treating them like criminals because the word "immigrant" is attached to the front of their name?

I'm ashamed of our nation, and of our elected officials, for allowing such disgraceful and criminal neglect to continue.

Neglecting someone's health because you think they are trying to defraud the system is still neglect and, if they die, becomes murder. If they die while in custody of the United States Government (and I do believe that Immigration and Customs does "roll up" under there, doesn't it? Last time I checked? Unless someone rewrote all of our laws?), I do believe that makes us:

Legally and morally responsible for their deaths. It makes us bad people.

Names to Google: Jason Ng, Francisco Castaneda, Boubacar Bah, Edimar Alves Araujo, Rosa Isela Contreras-Dominquez, Abdoullai Sall, Young Sook Kim.

Or: http://www.hrw.org/doc/?t=migrants

Make up your own mind.

2008-08-12T13:41:00.002-04:00

Sometimes people really crack me up.

Today I got an email from one of my employees, letting me know she needed to leave early because:

"My daughter is experiencing some female issues with some pain so I needed to make an appointment today."

Let me translate this: "My kid has cramps, and is back in school, and is embarassed. I'm a nice mom, and am gonna let her come home early".

A great deal has been written about employees with children taking advantage of their employer's family leave policies (and flexible work arrangement policies). Of course, I told her to take the rest of the afternoon - she's an hourly employee, and if she wants to dock herself for an afternoon's pay, that is on her own shoulders. Where, however, is the line?

2008-08-11T15:34:00.002-04:00

Jimmy Carter said it best by saying something along the lines of "I have committed adultery many times in my heart". That's certainly an adage I wish people in political public life would take to heart, although perhaps our politicos have been studying history more than the would like to let us know...

Having a mistress in the White House does have lots of historical precedence:

1. Bill and Monica.

2. John and Marilyn, John and a girlfriend of Sinatra's....shoot...anything that wasn't nailed down (provided his pain pills and steroid shots weren't causing him "other problems"). And who shares a girl with your brother? Ooky.

3. Thomas Jefferson had a black mistress (How do you think those bi racial children of Jefferson and Sally Hemings came to be? Osmosis?)

4. LBJ had Madeline Duncan Brown and Alice Glass.

5. George Bush senior reportedly had a long standing relationship with Jennifer Fitzgerald.

6. I find nothing on Ford. He seems to have been a good guy all around. And he owned a Golden Retriever.

7. Nixon, in addition to being a poor television debater, a bad wearer or makeup, and an even worse liar, DID have a mistress, but I'll be darned if I can think of her name.

8. Warren Harding had a relationship with Nan Britton during his campaign, his election, his tenure in the White House.

9. Franklin D. Roosevelt had most famously Lucy Mercer almost up until his death, I believe.

10. James Garfield canoodeled with the very married Lucia Calhoun.

11. Kay Summersby and Dwight Eisenhower.

This is a small sample, of course. If you disregard the Thomas Jefferson example as an oddity that exists today only because there are heirs, and DNA, and money, and press (TJ was a slave owning, sperm implanting bigot! - someone, somewhere is looking to cash in), you will note that most of these stories are from the last centurty, and from the last part of the last century, when the media really lost all respect for what should or should not be reported as news. What someone does in the bedroom is not news, no matter who important they are, unless they are raping children (and then it's a crime). We all watched Bill and Edwards lie about their extra marital affairs (really a simple "I'm sorry, that's a personal matter between my wife and I" would have been much more elegant..I think at some point, you have to refuse to play the game in order to get off the merry go round).

I guess that's my point; take your bedroom antics out of the press. Keep your fly and your mouth zipped. Practice the art of public grace and deflection. I don't want to know your business, and neither does the rest of the world. If you say "I did it" and move on, the rest of the world would too.

2008-08-10T14:25:00.001-04:00

Ah, lazy late summer Sundays. Tried to relax by the pool, but couldn't quite do it. Bugs drove me indoors, now awaiting a delicious steak...mmmm...steak....Mr. Manners aka The Meatmaster (oh, take that as you will) is grilling lunch while I am in charge of potatoes and bread.

Reading the NYTimes booklist and see nothing really of interest (as usual). Anyone have any suggestions? I am currently chewing my way through two "crime" novels, and have recently finished the new James Bond (much as I remembered the old ones to be, appealing to my inner thirteen year old boy).

I'm excited that we're extending our stay in Navarre. A real vacation, one in which Mr. Manners has sworn work WILL NOT INTRUDE (hrmph). I am not working, myself, unless it is a dire emergency, and plan on doing nothing except sitting on the beach and reading a book, and listening to satellite radio, and perhaps drinking a strawberry daiquiri (simple pleasures I have yet been denied this year), while burying my toes in the wet sand. I plan to crinkle. And that’s as far as I’ve gotten. Oh, and perhaps eat some shrimp. So I need books (see request above).

2008-08-07T21:03:00.004-04:00

I'm frightened.

I noted tonight, whilst watching "Scooby Doo" ,that it has some certain similarities with the speech patterns of Odysseus. You know, where each verse or "after the commercial break", they repeat most of the dialog...just in case you missed it.

I'm frightened. Who knew that such a silly cartoon had something in common with classical Greek literature?

I mean, really:

Daphne “Oh, thank you Boy Wonder” (in one of those hybrid episodes).

And

“The hooded man! (pause) We’ll never catch him, he’s on a unicycle!”

Oh, the decline of civilization has been upon us for awhile now.

Coming Soon: The Rise And Fall of An American Empire?

2008-08-07T16:49:00.003-04:00

Summertime blues.

Mom said to us, when packing us into the car when we were very small, "You girls should just go to sleep. We're going to a very special McDonald's that is far away, and when you wake up we'll be there".

MidSis and LilSis were lulled to sleep by the rocking of the car, while I, being older and wise to the wiles of my parents stayed half awake.

Half awake long enough to exclaim, somewhere around midnight:

"We aren't going to McDonald's, we're going to the beach!" as I saw the signs for Jekyll Island.

It will always be my home. And I don't really care what anyone else in the family says, or whines about the lack of beach. You want a beach? Go somewhere else. It's not why we go. We go because this island is our childhood, and at the risk of repeating some overripe imagery, that damn ocean is our mother (and now parts of our grandfather). Those dunes? mountains to us as children (albeit forbidden as were the sea oats). Bike trails on the inner island? forbidden fruit as they were dangerous and untravelled. The pier? always a great treat and spooky at night, where you could listen to the song of the river as it lapped against the pillar, and forced its way into Clam Creek. Once or twice, you'd interrupt folk spear fishing in Clam Creek (crazy - snakes, sharks, muskrats and gators). And the Jekyll Island Hotel...ah, when we were kids, that hotel was literally an old lady with cats. It was hazardous to your health, and you didn't get too close because you didn't know what would happen. Shingles plunged to their death with great abandon. Ghosts regularly rocked on the porch chairs; nevermind that the chairs had long since rotted. There were rumors of drowned millionaire's kids, ghost horses, dead slaves and Indians. I think the hotel was closed much of my childhood (at one point there was a lending library in the basement?), and it was only in the much later (post high school graduation years) that it really took off and the entire historic district redone. If you get a chance, go. Look for granddaddy's brick at the Turtle Center (and do email me a photo).

As a child, you used to be able to buy shrimp off the pier that is now reserved for yachts. Fucking gentrification. We used to unroll the seining net on the shore and wade out into the water and fish, just for the heck of it. Me, MidSis, LilSis, CozAmes, Bullfrog and I all ran amok! We had tans, and we ran up and down the beach, and threw sand at each other, and built castles, and rode bikes, and skated, and ate ice cream, and play Laser Tag, and Monopoly, and Risk, and Trivial Pursuit, and had grandmom wiggle out loose teeth, and spent nights in the really cold ass basement room on the sofa bed, and had Spaghetti Wars, and had problems with bottle rockets, and broken arms, and Little Pink Houses.

Don't ask me to go to another beach and make it my home. You can't trade in all those memories; and I'm not interested in going to St. George (and no offense, but to me the Gulf is a bit like eating popcorn; it fills you up for the moment, but does do anything to satisfy the real hunger).

Prater's Mill

2008-08-07T16:03:00.007-04:00

Prater's Mill, in Varnell Georgia, seen here in operation in 1905.

As children, we used to go once a year to the Prater's Mill Fair. In fact, back when I was in both 4H and Girl Scouts, I would go twice. For two years, if memory serves, I led the ponies for children's pony ride (which ended abruptly when one very mean pony decided to bite my shoulder; this was after I had earned both my horse back riding merit badges from the scouts, and before I learned to smack their noses hard when they bite you). Ponies are not nice creatures; would you be if you were the Napoleon of the horse kingdom?

The fair was truly a wonder of country delights. My favorite? Ah, you could have guessed it yourself had you known me as a teenager - my dresser was stocked with a glass unicorn, a glass dragon, a pegasus, a fairy, and any other small and fanciful concoction the glass blower had (that I could afford) for me once I got to the fair. Unlike my sisters, I was never one to be suckered into the land of funnel cakes or taffy or cookies or brownies or cobbler (still do NOT like baked fruit) but like a magpie I have always been drawn to the shiny things. Funny, really, I would be out of the car, up over the embankment, across the highway (whether or not the cop told me to cross), through the ticket booth and into the fairground (really a giant meadow next to the mill) before anyone else was even out of the car, off in search of my blown glass.

Now, this isn't the kind of fair like a mid-way fair. No, no rides, no screaming things, no neon, no whacking and jumping and clanking around of things; no, this is a crafts fair, where people make things and sell them to you, where you talk to people about what they do...you know, a fair for grownups. Where people do things like....watch clogging contests (I am not yet so old that I find this entertaining; seventh level of hell), or watch someone make pottery, or go to the mill and tour it while it is doing it's grist-work. That kind of thing. It was safe enough (omg) 15 years ago that we ran about totally unattended, and played in the stream barefoot. Oh, and ate, and ate, and ate and were expected to be back at the car by four thirty for the ride home.

It was that kind of fair, with that kind of people.

Anyway, this years fair is October 11 and 12th. Varnell is not that far away from Atlanta - Road Trip! It costs $5 - and I'm willing to bet that most of the Atlanta folk who read this blog have never, ever been. Go!

More info?

http://www.pratersmill.org/

2008-08-06T16:10:00.002-04:00

As we were driving the other day, leaving the office, we were watching some random dude in a pink shirt walking down the sidewalk.

Mr. Manners: Man, that guy is GAY!

Eliza: Are you sure he isn't Asian?

(we both look)

Both: DEFINTELY GAY

(note to readers: men wearing pink shirts are either - senile, gay or asian).

2008-08-06T10:31:00.003-04:00

Seems that our friends in New York have picked up the story of the City of Atlanta firing arborist Tom Coffin and ran with it in their science section today.

In case you weren't aware (and living here, I'm not sure how you couldn't be), Atlanta is one of the most forested cities in the United States (major cities, I should say).

See this article.

2008-08-06T09:22:00.002-04:00

Go down to the bottom of the page, go to Dooce's site, and read Month Fifty Four (or Letter Fifty Four) to her daughter Leta.

Brought tears to my eyes.

2008-08-05T16:04:00.001-04:00

Here's your gem for the day:

Discretion is the better part of valor.

I think it's pretty simple. If you are asked not to repeat something, you shouldn't repeat it.

Especially if you are explicity asked "please don't tell this to Jane because she has enough going on without hearing this too".

Ghoulish!